My Fiancé and His ex had a child. He is almost 2 Years Old. They have been split up since he was born and I've been in his life since he was 3 months old. My fiancé and I moved out of state for work for 8 months. His ex allowed their son to visit 2 times, but we made several trips to visit him. Were back ib the same state as the child now and she's refusing visitation except for a few hours here and there. My fiancé and I saw him everyday before we moved. Can we chose to keep him until she gets it court ordered for visitation? The only court they went to was for child support for her being on welfare, which he's paid up to date.

Without a court order, yes she can do that. Documented it and use it in court.

But they needed to have had a child custody and a visitation agreement from day one. That is his error there.

Without a court order, yes she can do that. documented it and use it in court.

But they needed to have had a child custody and a visitation agreement from day one. That is his error there.


She can keep him from seeing his son with no court order but he can't keep her from seeing him? How is it that one parent can but the other can't if there is no order of custody?

Is he on the birth certificate or signed an acknowledgement of paternity?

Absent a court order for custody and visitation, the mother has control. That's why he can't keep the child from the mother. Also, if he wants to get visitation, especially unsupervised, then he would be stupid to do so. If he goes into court and the mother argues that he kept the child, the courts will not look kindly on his petition for custody and visitation. So he should do the smart thing (what he should have done from the beginning) and file for joint custody and visitation in Family Court.

There was no court ordered visitation or custody order. His name is on the birth certifcate. Im only allowing certain hours of visitation. Can he keep him until I go to court? I live in Ma

There was no court ordered visitation or custody order. His name is on the birth certifcate. Im only allowing certain hours of visitation. Can he keep him until i go to court? I live in Ma


YOU are only allowing certain hours? I thought you were the fiancée? Why would YOU be going to court? Somewhere along the line this changed. Please be straight with us and tell us the real story if you want help.

If there is no court ordered visitation or custody, then the mother generally has primary custody and control.

P.S. Please keep follow-up to this thread using the Reply or Answer options. Don't start a new question.

YOU are only allowing certain hours? I thought you were the fiancee? Why would YOU be going to court? Somewhere along the line this changed. Please be straight with us and tell us the real story if you want help.

If there is no court ordered visitation or custody, then the mother generally has primary custody and control.

P.S. Please keep followup to this thread using the Reply or Answer options. Don't start a new question.


I asked the questions fron both sides to get more well rounded answers from people seeings how I've seen multiple different answers favoring each side. Sorry if that confused you. I wasn't aware of how this site imparticular worked. I was also curious as to what should be considered bad parenting. In our eyes a fractured wrist before age 2 is unexceptable. Could an emergency petiton for custody be considered?

I asked the questions fron both sides to get more well rounded answers from people seeings how ive seen multiple different answers favoring each side. Sorry if that confused you. I wasnt aware of how this site imparticular worked. I was also curious as to what should be considered bad parenting. In our eyes a fractured wrist before age 2 is unexceptable. Could an emergency petiton for custody be considered?
Now you are entering into child abuse allegations and are not being entirely truthful in your information.

Now you are entering into child abuse allegations and are not being entirely truthful in your information.

Ok obviously I can get no help from this website. Im not accusing someone of child abuse. I just know through my own experience with my own child that the risk of fracturing bones at such a young age is low and I would never let that happen. In my eyes that's bad parenting. I have been nothing nut truthful ib my information. I thought this websites questions were random and I could get separte answers for each. Like I said my fiancé and I just wanted a well rounded answer since I looked it up myself and saw different answers favoring the parent who asked. Ill try other websites since this one is so concerned with if I'm not being truthful and nit concerned with a simple legal question.

If there is no order of custody, no court orders, the mother can keep the other parent from seeing the child completely. The other parent may have to force visits though the courts.

Please stop playing what if's and doing this from different versions, We want just the REAL truth and facts or normally we just stop helping you

Ok obviously i can get no help from this website. Im not accusing someone of child abuse. I just know through my own experience with my own child that the risk of fracturing bones at such a young age is low and i would never let that happen. In my eyes thats bad parenting. I have been nothing nut truthful ib my information. I thought this websites questions were random and i could get separte answers for each. Like i said my fiance and i just wanted a well rounded answer since i looked it up myself and saw different answers favoring the parent who asked. Ill try other websites since this one is so concerned with if im not being truthful and nit concerned with a simple legal question.

You get as much help as we get honest real facts, when you start playing games, the experts just leave you alone since they think you are just a troll playing with them.

Facts.
1. who has physical control of child
2. is there any court order for custody
3. is there any court order for child support
4. is the father on the birth certificate.
5 is either parent a threat to the child, with evidence that could be presented in court
6. does either parent have a criminal history

We can give you legal issues, We don't care about personal opinions, don't care about feelings, we give you facts based on what you tell us.

We have asked for facts, not other non important issues

And bull, facts are answeed according to the facts given, you lie about what is happening, you get the answers according to your lie.

We can't help you unless we know what the truth is. Look at this from our perspective. You have someone confusing the issues by asking a question from both sides. And that means they are being dishonest with us.

The answers I have given you were consistent. I don't know what you think you are seeing, but if you tell us the truth we will give you the best advice. Your becoming defensive at our reaction is your own fault. But we remain ready to help if you just tell us the truth.

If there is no order of custody, no court orders, the mother can keep the other parent from seeing the child completely. The other parent may have to force visits though the courts.

Please stop playing what if's and doing this from different versions, We want just the REAL truth and facts or normally we just stop helping you

Im not "playing what ifs". I don't know Ma state laws and I was just asking if it was means enough to be concerned. I honestly feel like you have not helped at all. I explained to you why I asked 2 different questions. Going through a custody battle can be a scary thing. Was just trying to get all information from both sides to better understand. Again sorry if that confused you. There is no need to talk to me like I am making things up off the top of my head. It was a serious question and I expected a serious answer. Not accusations that I'm lying. Thanks for the "help". Ill take any further questions to a real lawyer. Thank you.

You get as much help as we get honest real facts, when you start playing games, the experts just leave you alone since they think you are just a troll playing with them.

Facts.
1. who has physical control of child
2. is there any court order for custody
3. is there any court order for child support
4. is the father on the birth certificate.
5 is either parent a threat to the child, with evidence that could be presented in court
6. does either parent have a criminal history

We can give you legal issues, We don't care about personal opinions, don't care about feelings, we give you facts based on what you tell us.

We have asked for facts, not other non important issues

and bull, facts are answeed according to the facts given, you lie about what is happening, you get the answers according to your lie.

1.she has physical control of him
2.No custody order
3.child support has been established and paid up.
4.Father is on birth certificate
5 no parent is a physical threat
6.neither parent has criminal history.

Bottom line is we don't want to see his son on her terms. We plan on going to file for joint custody but didn't want to play her games throughout the process. I didn't once lie. You claim to not be concerned with "my story" yet continue to talk about it instead of the question I had asked

We can't help you unless we know what the truth is. Look at this from our perspective. You have someone confusing the issues by asking a question from both sides. And that means they are being dishonest with us.

The answers I have given you were consistent. I don't know what you think you are seeing, but if you tell us the truth we will give you the best advice. Your becoming defensive at our reaction is your own fault. But we remain ready to help if you just tell us the truth.

Like I said... I postes both thinking I would get different answers for both. I am a new user to this site and did not understand how this site works. Ive said this multiple times but no one on here seems to understand. If I had known I wouldn't have postes two questions. Im not being untruthful. Just looking for un biased answers

Ok obviously i can get no help from this website. Im not accusing someone of child abuse. I just know through my own experience with my own child that the risk of fracturing bones at such a young age is low and i would never let that happen. In my eyes thats bad parenting. I have been nothing nut truthful ib my information. I thought this websites questions were random and i could get separte answers for each. Like i said my fiance and i just wanted a well rounded answer since i looked it up myself and saw different answers favoring the parent who asked. Ill try other websites since this one is so concerned with if im not being truthful and nit concerned with a simple legal question.


I am accusing you of lying on this website.

Where do you see you've been truthful?

If the question is so simple I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself - from both sides.

I am accusing you of lying on this website.

Where do you see you've been truthful?

If the question is so simple I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself - from both sides.

Where have I lied? I asked a question from the oppisite point of view but nothing about it was untruthful. And the reason I came to this website was to figure it out myself. Like I said... im not familiar with Ma laws.

Where have i lied? I asked a question from the oppisite point of view but nothing about it was untruthful. And the reason i came to this website was to figure it out myself. Like i said...im not familiar with Ma laws.

It is all documented here. You posted as the fiancé asking questions, then posted you were the ex.

You can't ask a question from both sides unless someone posts as the ex and you post as the fiancé.

Sorry, you have lost your credibility here, so no sense in trying to justify yourself.

No one, no expert is going to take their time to give you what you want. We are all volunteers here.

I think this thread should be closed, Scottgem.

Where have i lied?

I won't say you lied, but you were untruthful. In your first post you said you were the father's fiancée andl asked if the mother could keep the child from the father. In another, later post you indicated you were the mother asking if the father could keep the child from you. You may not have thought it was a lie because you didn't realize that would would connect the threads. But you were not being truthful.


Like i said...i postes both thinking i would get different answers for both. I am a new user to this site and did not understand how this site works. Ive said this multiple times but no one on here seems to understand. If i had known i wouldnt have postes two questions. Im not being untruthful. Just looking fo un biased answers

I do understand why you did it. I also understand you didn't realize we would connect the posts and catch you at it. But the problem is you STILL haven't told us what the truth is.

As for getting an unbased opinion read what Fr_Chuck said. Look at the questions we asked. We asked for facts so that we could give you a legally correct and accurate answer. Frankly I resent that you think our answers would be anything else.

The bottom line here is that you tried to fool us. Don't deny it because you have admitted to it. You asked two different questions and it, at least one of them, you were untruthful about who you are. You tried to fool us because you mistakenly thought it would get you different answers. We don't like people who try to fool us. There have been too many who have tried in the past. So, I will once more ask you what is the truth? Who are you really, the mother or the fiancée? Only then can we go forward and give you an answer.

It is all documented here. You posted as the fiance asking questions, then posted you were the ex.

You can't ask a question from both sides unless someone posts as the ex and you post as the fiance.

Sorry, you have lost your credibility here, so no sense in trying to justify yourself.

No one, no expert is going to take their time to give you what you want. We are all volunteers here.

I think this thread should be closed, Scottgem.


Closed? I'm wondering what it takes to ban people.

It is all documented here. You posted as the fiance asking questions, then posted you were the ex.

You can't ask a question from both sides unless someone posts as the ex and you post as the fiance.

Sorry, you have lost your credibility here, so no sense in trying to justify yourself.

No one, no expert is going to take their time to give you what you want. We are all volunteers here.

I think this thread should be closed, Scottgem.


Ok sorry that I misunderstood how this website works. Didn't get much help anyway. More of people calling me a liar then anything and to me the opinions of "volunteers" don't mean much to me. Im sorry that this website isn't a good place for legal advice. Maybe if you focused more on the questions asked then the story behind them you would be more successful and wouldn't have time to waste on something as stupid as miscommunication. On that note... I will no longer need this thread as I got no help from it anyway. Delete it if you please.

Ok sorry that i misunderstood how this website works. Didnt get much help anyways. More of people calling me a liar then anything and to me the opinions of "volunteers" dont mean much to me. Im sorry that this website isnt a good place for legal advice. Maybe if you focused more on the questions asked then the story behind them you would be more successful and wouldnt have time to waste on something as stupid as miscommunication. On that note...i will no longer need this thread as i got no help from it anyways. Delete it if you please.

Many times we can't answer the questions asked without knowing the story or the facts. People called you a liar because you were caught red handed being untruthful. You didn't get much help because you still have not told us the truth.

As far as this site being a good place for legal advice, I stand by our record. We have heled thousands of people when they have given us the facts and not tried to play games.

I won't say you lied, but you were untruthful. In your first post you said you were the father's fiancee andl asked if the mother could keep the child from the father. In another, later post you indicated you were the mother asking if the father could keep the child from you. You may not have thought it was a lie because you didn't realize that would would connect the threads. But you were not being truthful.



I do understand why you did it. I also understand you didn't realize we would connect the posts and catch you at it. But the problem is you STILL haven't told us what the truth is.

As for getting an unbased opinion read what Fr_Chuck said. Look at the questions we asked. We asked for facts so that we could give you a legally correct and accurate answer. Frankly I resent that you think our answers would be anything else.

The bottom line here is that you tried to fool us. Don't deny it because you have admitted to it. You asked two different questions and it, at least one of them, you were untruthful about who you are. You tried to fool us because you mistakenly thought it would get you different answers. We don't like people who try to fool us. there have been too many who have tried in the past. So, I will once more ask you what is the truth? Who are you really, the mother or the fiancee? Only then can we go forward and give you an answer.

Obviously I am the fiancé since I've told you I asked from the mothers point of view. And stated that she was with him when his wrist got fractured. I came to this site seeking guidenence not drama. Thanks for focusing on pointless information when all I was doing was reaching out for help.

Obviously i am the fiance since ive told you i asked from the mothers point of view. And stated that she was with him when his wrist got fractured. I came to this site seeking guidenence not drama. Thanks for focusing on pointless information when all i was doing was reaching out for help.

No it is not so obvious when you you start being untruthful. And, yet again, the drama was caused by you trying to fool us. Don't try to shift the blame on us. You want us to understand why you did what you did, but you refuse to understand why we reacted the way we did.

Ok, So lets look at the facts:

1.she has physical control of him
2.No custody order
3.child support has been established and payed up.
4.Father is on birth certificate
5 no parent is a physical threat
6.neither parent has criminal history.


Since she has physical control and absent a court order for visitation there is nothing the father can do but go to court to establish visitation. If she has been withholding visitation without a good reason, the courts will take note of that.

This is the answer originally given I would give the same answer were the mother asking, but I would advise her to allow visitation because the courts will look on her better for it.

The father will not get visitation totally on his terms. The courts will look for a compromise. A reasonable compromise will be alternate weekends, maybe with some evenings if you live close enough, with alterating school holidays once the chld becomes school age.

You mentioned you have filed for custody and visitation. Therefore you now have to go through with this process and see what the courts order.

No it is not so obvious when you you start off being untruthful. And, yet again, the drama was caused by you trying to fool us. Don't try to shift the blame on us..


I was NOT trying to fool you. If that's how you wouldve answered tge questions then you shouldve just answered it. I was NOT trying to lie. If that's how you see it then fine. Got more trouble than help anyway.

I was NOT trying to fool you. If thats how you wouldve answered tge questions then you shouldve just answered it. I was NOT trying to lie. If thats how you see it then fine. Got more trouble than help anyways.

All right you want to continue this. You are in denial. The simple fact,as you have admitted, is you posted once saying you are the fiancée. You posted again, saying you are the mother. You wanted to see if you would get different answers if you were the mother. Ergo, you tried to fool us. You may have not being trying to lie, you may not have understood that you would be caught telling two different stories and you cleary didn't understand the reactions and ramificiations of doing so. But to continue to deny this just makes matters worse. Again, you want us to understand where you are coming from, but refuse to understand where we are coming from.

You got more trouble because you weren't truthful with us. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

And the reason I didn't answer the question that way is because YOU muddied the waters by trying to fool us. Had you not done so you would have had your answer a few hours ago.

We were not the problem here. Until you realize that you will continue to be bitter and not get anymore help.

Alright you want to continue this. You are in denial. the simple fact,as you have admitted, is you posted once saying you are the fiancee. You posted again, saying you are the mother. You wanted to see if you would get different answers if you were the mother. Ergo, you tried to fool us. You may have not being trying to lie, you may not have understood that you would be caught telling two different stories and you cleary didn't understand the reactions and ramificiations of doing so. But to continue to deny this just makes matters worse. Again, you want us to understand where you are coming from, but refuse to understand where we are coming from.

You got more trouble because you weren't truthful with us. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

And the reason I didn't answer the question that way is because YOU muddied the waters by trying to fool us. Had you not done so you would have had your answer a few hours ago.

We were not the problem here. Until you realize that you will continue to be bitter and not get anymore help.

Really? You're still concerned about if I was lying or not. You've talked to me more about "fooling" you then anything else. I began looking up similar questions to mine and upon reserch through THIS site I noticed quite different answers. Seeing this I asked from the other point of view so I could see the differences. If they came back as different then I would not use the advice from this website. As a new user I was skeptical since I had seen multiple answers for the same question because of the wording. I shouldn't even have to explain myself. If you think that my questions were bull then you shouldn't have answered and I would not have given this post a second glance. I admitted to posting it and gave an honest reply as to why I asked it from another point of view. I wasn't trying to pose as the mother or trying to cause anybody trouble. My question has been answered to the best of you're ability yet you still are concerned about me "fooling"you. Drop it and move on to another question. You're wasting both or our time.

Really? Youre still concerned about if i was lying or not. Youve talked to me more about "fooling" you then anything else. I began looking up similar questions to mine and upon reserch through THIS site i noticed quite different answers. Seeing this i asked from the other point of view so i could see the differences. If they came back as different then i would not use the advice from this website. As a new user i was skeptical since i had seen multiple answers for the same question because of the wording. I shouldnt even have to explain myself. If you think that my questions were bull then you shouldnt have answered and i would not have given this post a second glance. I admitted to posting it and gave an honest reply as to why i asked it from another point of view. I wasnt trying to pose as the mother or trying to cause anybody trouble. My question has been answered to the best of youre ability yet you still are concerned about me "fooling"you. Drop it and move on to another question. Youre wasting both or our time.


So sign off so you don't waste any more of your time.

And retain an Attorney.

And please don't even attempt to decide who should and who should not answer you and in what fashion.

We don't have this problem - you do.

That alone says something.

Apparently when caught righteous indignation is always worth a try!

Really? Youre still concerned about if i was lying or not. Youve talked to me more about "fooling" you then anything else.

Lets look at post #24. I explained (yet again) about your actions here. But then I said "Ok, So lets look at the facts:" and proceeded to answer your question. In your response (#25) YOU continued to mention the fooling issue, I was ready to drop it. So in my response (#26) I noted that YOU wanted to continue. Instead of acknowledging the advice I gave you continue to deny the obvious. If you don't want to talk about it anymore than drop it. I was ready to.

What I see here is you were caught at attempting to fool us. There is no denying it because you admitted it. But you continue to try to argue about it because (IMHO), you are embarrassed about being caught at it. You keep trying to shift the blame on use for what you did. And its not working nor will it work. Anyone reviewing this thread can see the truth because it's there in black and white. So take the good advice you have been given and stop trying to deny the obvious.

Lets look at post #24. I explained (yet again) about your actions here. But then I said "Ok, So lets look at the facts:" and proceeded to answer your question. In your response (#25) YOU continued to mention the fooling issue, I was ready to drop it. So in my response (#26) I noted that YOU wanted to continue. Instead of acknowledging the advice I gave you continue to deny the obvious. If you don't want to talk about it anymore than drop it. I was ready to.

What I see here is you were caught at attempting to fool us. There is no denying it because you admitted it. But you continue to try to argue about it because (IMHO), you are embarrassed about being caught at it. You keep trying to shift the blame on use for what you did. And its not working nor will it work. Anyone reviewing this thread can see the truth because its there in black and white. So take the good advice you have been given and stop trying to deny the obvious.

Hahaha I'm not embarrassed about anything. You should be embarrassed

Since you refuse to accept your actions and since you have now resorted to insults and vulgarity {removed} to cover up your embarrassment over your actions, there is no point in allowing this to continue.

CLOSED!