WindChill
Aug 22, 2012, 11:22 AM
Just want to say thanks to everyone who takes the time to read and respond to this and I'd also like to apologize for the length of this, it's rather long and I've rambled a lot so please bare with me)
I met a girl online 7 yrs ago when I was 18, she was almost 16 at the time. I'm a girl also. We both lived in different countries, she was American and I was Canadian. It started innocently enuff, we had so much in common and we met in such a random way, it wasn't a dating site or anything like that so it surprised me really. We became very close in a short period and at the time I was involved with someone but it was never serious, I think it was serious for the other girl but it wasn't for me so I broke things off, It was the right thing to do on both our parts. Basically I fell in love with this girl and she felt the same. We continued doing the long distance thing we talked on the phone all the time and we were as solid as 2 people could possibly be in a long distance relationship. I wasn't able to visit her while we were together, financially it would have been hard but the main factor was that her parents warned me not to. They labelled me a sexual predator which was ridiculous because I hadn't even had sex with anyone before. They basically said that if I attempted to go there and see her they'd have me arrested for stalking. We kept our relationship going for 2 and a half yrs until my depression took control and I pushed her out of my life. I was jealous and possessive and I can see now that I was so wrong and I refused to get help because I didn't believe I had a problem. She couldn't take it anymore and she met someone close to home who took away the pain. I tried getting her back for about a yr then I just gave up. All I wanted was for her to be happy and if this person did that for her it was enuff for me. A yr and a half later I get an email from her asking how I am and if it would be possible to try and be friends again. We talked for 4 days whenever we could get a chance and eventually I got upset and told her I couldn't anymore. She contacted me 3 or 4 times more over the next 9 mnths, some messages said "all I can think about is u" and "I miss u" but nothing more ever came from it. Then last yr she emailed me and told me leaving me was the biggest mistake she's ever made and that she still loves me. I was dating someone when this happened and I told her I loved this girl, which I had deluded myself into believing so I wouldn't think about her all the time. She was angry when she replied but a few days later she asked me to add her to MSN which I did. We talked for about 3 mnths off and on maybe 6 times in total. She was never around much. She just seemed different and never once said anything about loving me still or missing me and then one day she went offline and hasn't come on MSN ever since. The last time we talked was in mid October and the sad part is I never stopped loving her. She's constantly on my mind and she's never left my heart. I can't seem to fill that void that she left in me. I'm not interested in anyone else, I haven't been able to date anyone else either much less committ to them. My head tells me to let go, it's in the past and what once was will never be again but my heart literally aches for her. I don't know what to do. I'm still struggling with my depression my mind is so much clearer now, I'm taking meds and getting therapy and it's been working wonders. I'm not the same girl I was back then, and I just wanted her to know that. What do u guys think... How do I stop feeling for her? Do u think she still loves me?.
I met a girl online 7 yrs ago when I was 18, she was almost 16 at the time. I'm a girl also. We both lived in different countries, she was American and I was Canadian. It started innocently enuff, we had so much in common and we met in such a random way, it wasn't a dating site or anything like that so it surprised me really. We became very close in a short period and at the time I was involved with someone but it was never serious, I think it was serious for the other girl but it wasn't for me so I broke things off, It was the right thing to do on both our parts. Basically I fell in love with this girl and she felt the same. We continued doing the long distance thing we talked on the phone all the time and we were as solid as 2 people could possibly be in a long distance relationship. I wasn't able to visit her while we were together, financially it would have been hard but the main factor was that her parents warned me not to. They labelled me a sexual predator which was ridiculous because I hadn't even had sex with anyone before. They basically said that if I attempted to go there and see her they'd have me arrested for stalking. We kept our relationship going for 2 and a half yrs until my depression took control and I pushed her out of my life. I was jealous and possessive and I can see now that I was so wrong and I refused to get help because I didn't believe I had a problem. She couldn't take it anymore and she met someone close to home who took away the pain. I tried getting her back for about a yr then I just gave up. All I wanted was for her to be happy and if this person did that for her it was enuff for me. A yr and a half later I get an email from her asking how I am and if it would be possible to try and be friends again. We talked for 4 days whenever we could get a chance and eventually I got upset and told her I couldn't anymore. She contacted me 3 or 4 times more over the next 9 mnths, some messages said "all I can think about is u" and "I miss u" but nothing more ever came from it. Then last yr she emailed me and told me leaving me was the biggest mistake she's ever made and that she still loves me. I was dating someone when this happened and I told her I loved this girl, which I had deluded myself into believing so I wouldn't think about her all the time. She was angry when she replied but a few days later she asked me to add her to MSN which I did. We talked for about 3 mnths off and on maybe 6 times in total. She was never around much. She just seemed different and never once said anything about loving me still or missing me and then one day she went offline and hasn't come on MSN ever since. The last time we talked was in mid October and the sad part is I never stopped loving her. She's constantly on my mind and she's never left my heart. I can't seem to fill that void that she left in me. I'm not interested in anyone else, I haven't been able to date anyone else either much less committ to them. My head tells me to let go, it's in the past and what once was will never be again but my heart literally aches for her. I don't know what to do. I'm still struggling with my depression my mind is so much clearer now, I'm taking meds and getting therapy and it's been working wonders. I'm not the same girl I was back then, and I just wanted her to know that. What do u guys think... How do I stop feeling for her? Do u think she still loves me?.