View Full Version : Pregnancy scare
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 07:44 AM
Hi, I'm worried I may be pregnant. I'm currently a 20 year old student in a long term relationship with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years. I'm 6 days late for my period, my cycle can vary from 28-35 days. However, on 30th July I had sex and the condom came off after he ejaculated. I noticed some spotting on the 5th August after a hard work out on an exercise bike. I've had PMS symptons for nearly 2 weeks which is normal for me however I keep having these symptoms but I haven't started my period yet. I've been stressing myself out about it which I know can make my period even later. I haven't taken a pregnancy test yet because I'm terrified I could be pregnant and I don't know who to turn to. Any advice you can give would be much appreciated, thank you
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 07:51 AM
You had sex... even if the condom didn't come off there was as at least a 10% chance if pregnancy with them. Even if you was also on the Pill there is still a chance, just much lower.
My advice... wiat a couple more weeks and take a HPT... by waiting that long you can be sure you won't get a false negative.
Maybe you will get lucky and your period will start before then. Stress alone can cause it to be late.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 07:56 AM
You had sex....even if the condom didn't come off there was as at least a 10% chance if pregnancy with them. Even if you was also on the Pill there is still a chance, just much lower.
My advice....wiat a couple more weeks and take a HPT....by waiting that long you can be sure you won't get a false negative.
Maybe you will get lucky and your period will start before then. Stress alone can cause it to be late.
I was thinking about doing a test tomorrow, is that too early then? The waiting is killing me, plus my mum is suspicious. I really can't be pregnant :(
J_9
Aug 22, 2012, 07:58 AM
You can test now, but remember to use first morning urine.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 08:00 AM
You can test now, but remember to use first morning urine.
The only chance I'm going to have tomorrow is to to it in the evening, would that mess it up?
Fr_Chuck
Aug 22, 2012, 08:06 AM
Yes it has to be in the morning, everyone has mornings, just do it when you get up,
There is no reason you can't do it in the mornings, take the test you were going to use in the evnening home, and do the test when you wake up.
But it sounds like a fairly good change you are pregnant from what you have described.
And again not sure what you are terrified about
1. you are 20, so a adult
2. you knew you were having sex
3. you did not choose to use birth control pills and condoms, which is still not 100 percent but much better than condoms.
4. you choose to use only condoms that have at least a 3 percent change of failure if done perfectly, and up to over a 10 percent chance of failure as normally used.
So pregnancy is just a result of your planning or lack of it.
So no idea why you are scared now, before you had sex was when to be scared,
J_9
Aug 22, 2012, 08:07 AM
The only chance I'm going to have tomorrow is to to it in the evening, would that mess it up?
Yes. You risk a false negative. Home testing should always be done as soon as you wake up as the concentration of the pregnancy hormones is more concentrated.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 08:15 AM
Yes it has to be in the morning, everyone has mornings, just do it when you get up,
There is no reason you can't do it in the mornings, take the test you were going to use in the evnening home, and do the test when you wake up.
but it sounds like a fairly good change you are pregnant from what you have described.
And again not sure what you are terrified about
1. you are 20, so a adult
2. you knew you were having sex
3. you did not choose to use birth control pills and condoms, which is still not 100 percent but much better than condoms.
4. you choose to use only condoms that have at least a 3 percent change of failure if done perfectly, and up to over a 10 percent chance of failure as normally used.
So pregnancy is just a result of your planning or lack of it.
so no idea why you are scared now, before you had sex was when to be scared,
I'm not able to get the test until tomorrow evening and I can't take it home and risk the chance of my parents finding out, I'm in my last year of university and can't be pregnant. I understand what you said about taking the pill etc however I don't react well to hormone tablets hence why I'm not on the pill.
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 08:19 AM
I'm not able to get the test until tomorrow evening and I can't take it home and risk the chance of my parents finding out, I'm in my last year of university and can't be pregnant. I understand what you said about taking the pill etc however I don't react well to hormone tablets hence why I'm not on the pill.
SO... you don't think your parents will find out eventually if you are pregnant?. You get pretty big by the sixth month... and right after the ninth month you have this little tiny human that will be attached to you for life.
You are 20... you are an adult... as an adult you are fully responsible for your actions... Time to start acting it. And this is as good a time to start as there is.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 08:23 AM
SO...you don't think your parents will find out eventually if you are pregnant?........You get pretty big by the sixth month....and right after the ninth month you have this little tiny human that will be attached to you for life.
You are 20...you are an adult...as an adult you are fully responsible for your actions....Time to start acting it. And this is as good a time to start as there is.
If I am pregnant then I'm not keeping the baby, I have already had the conversation with my boyfriend and he supports my decision. I know the psychological stress a termination can cause but it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into my situation. I know not everyone will agree
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 08:28 AM
Still doesn't explain the need to sneek around like a 10 year old that snuck and extra cupcake for later...
Put it in your purse... go home... get up in the AM and use it. Its not a huge deal. And if they see you, then what is the big deal... you are 20 after all.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 08:33 AM
Still doesn't explain the need to sneek around like a 10 year old that snuck and extra cupcake for later....
Put it in your purse....go home....get up in the AM and use it. Its not a huge deal. And if they see you, then what is the big deal...you are 20 after all.
Because my parents would murder me, I don't have a close relationship with either of them, I never have and my mum is against terminations. It would disappoint them, and be to honest I'm disappointed in myself that I'm in this situation. I'm not stupid, I know the risks but I'm behaving like an ostrich
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 08:38 AM
Because my parents would murder me, I don't have a close relationship with either of them, I never have and my mum is against terminations. It would disappoint them, and be to honest I'm disappointed in myself that I'm in this situation. I'm not stupid, I know the risks but I'm behaving like an ostrich
Listen... you have to start sometime... this is as good a time as any.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 08:42 AM
Listen...you have to start sometime....this is as good a time as any.
Not when I'm spending over £20,000 on an education. I do appreciate your advice, I've convinced myself I'm not pregnant, not a good idea but I'm hoping to try to stop myself from panicking
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 08:51 AM
I'm pretty sure your parents have a clue something is going on... just not that.
Be it the fancy underwear... or other things, We've seen it all before... and the more you try to hide something... the more you call attention to the fact you are trying to hide something.
Its your choice... I highly doubt they think you are the same pure child they used to tuck in 10 years ago. Meaning they are likely sure you are already active.
Besiides... with all your studies... you have time to create new stresses like for taking this test ALONE in the Loo in th emorning? THey odds of them finding it are very low. Take it home do it in the am... put it back in your purse to dispose of at school.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 08:54 AM
I'm pretty sure your parents have a clue something is going on....just not that.
Be it the fancy underwear....or other things, We've seen it all before....and the more you try to hide something...the more you call attention to the fact you are trying to hide something.
Its your choice....I highly doubt they think you are the same pure child they used to tuck in 10 years ago. Meaning they are likely sure you are already active.
Besiides...with all your studies...you have time to create new stresses like for taking this test ALONE in the Loo in th emorning? THey odds of them finding it are very low. Take it home do it in the am...put it back in your purse to dispose of at school.
It's the summer holidays and I'm living back at home so there is no easy way to dispose of it
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 08:59 AM
It's the summer holidays and I'm living back at home so there is no easy way to dispose of it
You never leave the house... there is not trash container anywhere outside... at a store nearby? Even if you toss it along the road with all the other trash that's there... you have the same disposal issue if you do it at night as you do in the morning.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 09:02 AM
You never leave the house....there is not trash container anywhere outside...at a store nearby? Even if you toss it along the road with all the other trash thats there....you have the same disposal issue if you do it at night as you do in the morning.
I was planning to take the test tomorrow evening when I finish work at a shopping centre, meaning before I go home
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 09:12 AM
Well, we presented you options... and explained why its got to be in the AM... if you need to know, you have to do it the right way.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 09:22 AM
Well, we presented you options....and explained why its got to be in the AM.....if you need to know, you have to do it the right way.
I've read somewhere else that it can be done in the evening although it is recommended in the morning... And I may not express it but I am grateful for your input, I'm just in a state of denial
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 09:36 AM
Tough situation to find yourself in... particularly when you aren't confident enough to be this upfront with your parents.
The risk is you do it in the evening... get a false negative... your period never comes and find out much later you are in fact pregnant.
I just figure this is one of those times you would rather do it right and do it once.
Before they figure this out just by how you are acting... yes we old farts have learned to pick up subtle cues by peoples behaviour, reactions... and changes in their behaviour that the people being watched aren't even aware of ( a lot of us anyway).
That's why I say they might be more aware of things than you think they are... and the longer you drag this out the more likely they are to figure it out.
WITHOUT actually catching you in the loo peeing on a tester. If you see the point I'm trying to make.
I doubt they go through your purse.. and even if it's there a few days, you will likely get a chance to dispose of it soon enough. They aren't very big... they are in fact quite small.
.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 09:40 AM
Tough situation to find yourself in....particularly when you aren't confident enough to be this upfront with your parents.
The risk is you do it in the evening...get a false negative....your period never comes and find out much later you are in fact pregnant.
I just figure this is one of those times you would rather do it right and do it once.
Before they figure this out just by how you are acting....yes we old farts have learned to pick up subtle cues by peoples behaviour, reactions...and changes in their behaviour that the people being watched aren't even aware of ( a lot of us anyway).
THats why I say they might be more aware of things than you think they are...and the longer you drag this out the more likely they are to figure it out.
WITHOUT actually catching you in the loo peeing on a tester. If you see the point I'm trying to make.
I doubt they go through your purse..and even if its there a few days, you will likely get a chance to dispose of it soon enough. They aren't very big...they are in fact quite small.
.
I was going to re-test at the weekend anyway, whatever the outcome as I'm going back to my flat to pick up a few things, I just can't seem to wait until then :/
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 09:52 AM
I was going to re-test at the weekend anyway, whatever the outcome as I'm going back to my flat to pick up a few things, I just can't seem to wait until then :/
You are also aware... stressing out over MAYBE being pregnant.. can delay the start of your period sometimes by weeks... and reinforcing your fear of being pregnant... (been there with my wife before many years ago)
One of those vicious loops that feeds on itself.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 10:00 AM
You are also aware......stressing out over MAYBE being pregnant..can delay the start of your period sometimes by weeks....and reinforcing your fear of being pregnant....(been there with my wife before many years ago)
One of those vicious loops that feeds on itself.
Yeah, I've thought about that, but being nearly a week late isn't normal for me (obviously not helped by stressing out) although my PMS has been extremely bad... I'm considering if it's even PMS. I've researched online about pregnancy symptoms and they seem to be identical to PMS ones although I don't feel sick, I just have really bad stomach cramps
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 10:09 AM
Yeah, I've thought about that, but being nearly a week late isn't normal for me (obviously not helped by stressing out) although my PMS has been extremely bad... I'm considering if it's even PMS. I've researched online about pregnancy symptoms and they seem to be identical to PMS ones although I don't feel sick, I just have really bad stomach cramps
Wasn't mormal for my wife either... but her Gynecologist back then explained that to us.
PMS is unrelated to a late period... its the cramping and crankiness women are famous for (amoung us guys anyway) BEFORE their period starts. Hormone related and all the other things that go with the whole cleaning house thing with the period.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 10:15 AM
Wasn't mormal for my wife either.....but her Gynecologist back then explained that to us.
PMS is unrelated to a late period....its the cramping and crankiness women are famous for (amoung us guys anyway) BEFORE their period starts. Hormone related and all the other things that go with the whole cleaning house thing with the period.
That's what I don't understand, I have the PMS, which is why I thought my period would come as planned this month, but now that I'm a week late I still feel the same way I did last week
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 10:24 AM
That's what I don't understand, I have the PMS, which is why I thought my period would come as planned this month, but now that I'm a week late I still feel the same way I did last week
PMS is PreMenstrual Syndrome...
Premenstrual syndrome - PubMed Health (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002474/)
Some women suffer from it greatly, some not at all... it has nothing to do with your period being regular or on time. That's a separate issue.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 10:27 AM
PMS is Pre Menstrul Syndrome...
Premenstrual syndrome - PubMed Health (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002474/)
Some women suffer from it greatly, some not at all....it has nothing to do with your period being regular or on time.
But for me I get the PMS symptoms then the period, I still have the symptoms just no bleeding. Any idea why I'm feeling this?
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 10:32 AM
But for me I get the PMS symptoms then the period, I still have the symptoms just no bleeding. Any idea why I'm feeling this?
That's a question that's beyond my ability to answer. However... as I see it.. is they are two different issues... even though there is a medical linkage between the two... (one usually preceding the other but they can occur simultaneously)...
THere are a number of things that can delay the onset of a period... and not just a pregnancy... but many emotional and physical stresses can do it... the list is long.
I personally think its your FEAR of pregnancy as much as the possibility of one being the two key ones.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 10:34 AM
Thats a question thats beyond my ability to answer.
Yeah, stupid of me to ask, sorry... In all honesty, do you think I'm pregnant?
smoothy
Aug 22, 2012, 10:54 AM
Yeah, stupid of me to ask, sorry... In all honesty, do you think I'm pregnant?
I wasn't there... its hard to throw out a number of the odds. Depends on when the condom came off, how it came off, and if you had to go fishing for it.
It the end of it was hanging out.. the odds go down, if one of you had to go fishing for it... the odds go up.
J-9 and some people believe you can get an accurate test if done correctly this early... I like some others tend to think if you wait until you are a month late on your Period.. you are less likely to get a false negative...
Fact is... nobody can guess. I do think the odds are greater you aren't... but until your period resumes or you get a reliable HPT test result... all we are doing is guessing.
soton-girl
Aug 22, 2012, 10:56 AM
I wasn't there.....its hard to throw out a number of the odds. Depends on when the condom came off, how it came off, and if you had to go fishing for it.
It the end of it was hanging out..the odds go down, if one of you had to go fishing for it...the odds go up.
J-9 and some people believe you can get an accurate test if done correctly this early...I like some others tend to think if you wait until you are a month late on your Period..you are less likely to get a false negative...
Fact is...nobody can guess. I do think the odds are greater you aren't....but until your period resumes or you get a reliable HPT test result....all we are doing is guessing.
Thanks for your honesty, I totally agree
soton-girl
Aug 24, 2012, 12:09 AM
I am indeed pregnant, much to my horror, booking a termination for next week
smoothy
Aug 24, 2012, 04:53 AM
Thanks for coming back to update us.