My boyfriend and I have known each other for the past 6 years... I'm 24 years old and he's 6 years older than I am. 3 years ago, I started having feelings for him after much wooing from him. The thing is my parents don't like him... they say I can do better, that he's too old for me. Now 3 years ago for his birthday, we went for lunch, which my mom knew about. Someone saw us at the restaurant and decided to call my mom and spread rumors about my boyfriend and his family. The problem is that my parents believed these rumors and still do. I have secretly proved all these rumors false and doesn't know how to approach my parents on it, because they still hate him. He's a good guy with a stable job. I love him a lot and he feels the same... he has even proposed and I haven't answered him as yet. We see each other secretly, even though he prefers to clear things up with them instead of going behind their backs. Please help me get through my parents and break down the wall created by gossipers. Any advice is welcomed!

Thank you, Confused!

Your parents need to understand that it is your decision but also I understand that their opinion matter so what I can say is to tell your parents to please hear him out and then take it from there. Remember that you are an adult already and your parents have to respect your choices.

24 and 30? Could be so much worse. 6 years is nothing, but it might have more to do with hitting the 30 mark. Until I was about 27, I wouldn't have considered a boyfriend 30 or over and that's only a 3 year difference. I don't know what it was, probably ageism but I didn't find being past 30 attractive. Like once you hit 30 you should be some serious person who should be doing a serious job and thinking about settling down (and I wasn't ready for settling down). Maybe that's how your parents think?

I'm 28 now and my boyfriend is 31 in a couple of months. Honestly, I adore him and his age is completely irrelevant. He could be 40 in a few months and I'd still feel the same. I am not an irrational lady who wears my heart on my sleeve, let me make that straight, but if such a thing as a 'one' existed, this guy would be it for me. Bearing that in mind, it'd be mightily unfortunate if my parents didn't like him, but there's no way I would pass him up for anyone.

You're 24, if this guy is respectable and the rumours aren't true, then you are old enough and wise enough to make your own mistakes. If your parents are not selfish, they will support your decision to go out with him, or at least be respectful. You must tell them this! Nicely though, remember their hearts are sort of in the right place.

We see each other secretly, even though he prefers to clear things up with them instead of going behind their backs. Please help me get through my parents and break down the wall created by gossipers. Any advice is welcomed!

thank you, Confused!


I think when your parents find out that the two of you have been sneaking around it will prove to them that he sneaks around behind people's backs. I doubt they'll think the same of you, because you're their daughter.

Where are you? An employed adult (unless your parents are paying your bills) should allow you to make your own decisions.