Log in

View Full Version : Dog or husband


mjzer
Aug 16, 2012, 07:36 PM
My husband doesn't like dogs but agreed to getting one.it is a house dog but he. Makes her stay outside as much as possible. Every time she does something he is yelling or clapping at her. Now he is acting childish and wants the dog gone. My daughter and I are attached to the dog. The way my husband is acting I am thinking about leaving him.am I wrong

smoothy
Aug 16, 2012, 07:44 PM
Geeze... listen to yourself... lets reverse the roles and say its YOU that had the problem of the pet you hate... and he was ready to pick the dog over you. How does that sound?

See the problem here? It's a dog... it will be DEAD in the next 10-14 years.

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 07:56 PM
Your husband doesn't like dogs but "agreed" to getting one? He didn't want one in the first place and now you are upset that he wants it gone? Pets should be a mutual agreement between parents and not a pressured mutual agreement otherwise things like this happen. Mother and daughter are attached and he wants the dog gone. Now he's the bad guy.

Is there a reason the dog can't stay outside? I grew up with dogs being outside animals so I don't see a problem in this. Only until I married my wife did I let a dog be primarily a house dog. Even so, I let her (our dog) stay outside as much as possible because I believe it's good for her.

It sounds like he's made exceptions and has only been met with resistance instead of compromise. I'm living that so I can understand his frustration. I'm highly allergic to cats and my wife convinced me to allow a cat in the house. After years of suffering with allergies because the cat box hasn't been kept clean, I would rather the cat be gone and I've told my wife and kids that. I'm sorry, I am sacrificing my health for something that they wanted, they can at least keep the cat box and hair cleaned up so I don't have to suffer.

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2012, 07:58 PM
As I dog owner I am offended by the comment " Its a dog...it will be DEAD in the next 10-14 years."

I get your point but that is a bit callous.
It is a silly thing to leave your husband over a dog.
He committed to get the dog and now does not want it, that is childish. I don't know what to tell you. I don't trust people who are cruel to animals.
Have you told him how much you and your daughter care for the dog? Is he this way with other things. This sounds like it is about more than the dog.

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:01 PM
As I dog owner I am offended by the comment " Its a dog...it will be DEAD in the next 10-14 years."

I get your point but that is a bit callous.
It is a silly thing to leave your husband over a dog.
He committed to get the dog and now does not want it, that is childish. I don't know what to tell you. I don't trust people who are cruel to animals.
Have you told him how much you and your daughter care for the dog? Is he this way with other things. This sounds like it is about more than the dog.

Cruelty to animals? Because he would rather let the dog stay outside or he yells at the dog for what ever reason that the OP left out or claps at the dog? I didn't read where he neglected to feed, water, let the dog out. Left the dog outside without water in the heat or somewhere to avoid the heat. I absolutely didn't see where she stated he beat the dog. How has he been cruel to animals?

Fr_Chuck
Aug 16, 2012, 08:05 PM
The way "he " is acting, he needs to leave you for the way you are behaving.


Why not make it a outside dog full time? Next is he having to do things for the dog? He did not want it to start with ? Have you sent the dog to be trained to behave ? Why not ?

If you really feel that way, leave him, since he deserves someone much better than you.

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2012, 08:11 PM
Cruelty to animals? Because he would rather let the dog stay outside or he yells at the dog for what ever reason that the OP left out or claps at the dog? I didn't read where he neglected to feed, water, let the dog out. Left the dog outside without water in the heat or somewhere to avoid the heat. I absolutely didn't see where she stated he beat the dog. How has he been cruel to animals?
I didn't say he was cruel to the dog. I said I don't trust people who are cruel to dogs.
He agreed to the dog, he did not have to. I don't see were he was forced to get it. They got a house dog, not an outdoor dog. I have had dogs and none of my dogs have been outdoor dogs.

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2012, 08:17 PM
This is a grown man, if he did not want a dog he should not have agreed to get one. No where does it say he was pressured. If he compromised to get one he should have gotten an outdoor dog.
Find another home for the dog, one where it will be cared for as it should be and you two don't get anymore dogs.

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:24 PM
I didn't say he was cruel to the dog. I said I don't trust people who are cruel to dogs.
He agreed to the dog, he did not have to. I don't see were he was forced to get it. They got a house dog, not an outdoor dog. I have had dogs and none of my dogs have been outdoor dogs.

Then I apologize, I assumed based on a comment directed towards this thread. Most dogs are inherently out door animals. Certain dog breads are more emotionally attached to their owners than others I can agree which makes it more convenient for them to be an indoor animal. My dog is a German Shepard and she definitely has separation anxiety which makes it difficult for her to be outside by herself but that doesn't mean she can't be left outside. I would rather my dog running outside than being cooped up inside where she couldn't release her energy. We do spend a lot of time outside with Emmy, playing fetch, the kids chasing her, her chasing the kids.

On the flip side, the German Shepard sheds all year long. They blow coat twice a year. We are vacuuming the house every day to keep the hair to a minimal.

mjzer what's the breed of dog that you brought home? This would be easier to address knowing that information. If it's a small breed dog I can understand a little more. Medium to large breeds are more commonly outside animals.

mjzer
Aug 16, 2012, 08:28 PM
This is a grown man, if he did not want a dog he should not have agreed to get one. No where does it say he was pressured. If he compromised to get one he should have gotten an outdoor dog.
Find another home for the dog, one where it will be cared for as it should be and you two don't get anymore dogs.

You are right he was not pressured into getting the dog. We have been married 13 years and he has never worked. I have always supported him. I received money when my mom died and bought a house. I feel I should be able to have a dog. I spent over 600.00 to purchase dog and we got her 600 miles away. He took me to get her. I don't feel now that we have had her two months he should be acting the way he is. I don't ask him to take of her. I bath her, take her to the vet and to comprise I keep her in the laundry room she does not have run of the house. She does not potty in house. She is a good dog. On the other hand my husband is being a big baby and crying over a dog. I agree also I don't trust people that aren't good to animals as they usually aren't good with other things.

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:30 PM
You are right he was not pressured into getting the dog. We have been married 13 years and he has never worked. I have always supported him. I received money when my mom died and bought a house. I feel I should be able to have a dog. I spent over 600.00 to purchase dog and we got her 600 miles away. He took me to get her. I don't feel now that we have had her two months he should be acting the way he is. I don't ask him to take of her. I bath her, take her to the vet and to comprise I keep her in the laundry room she does not have run of the house. She does not potty in house. She is a good dog. On the other hand my husband is being a big baby and crying over a dog. I agree also I don't trust people that aren't good to animals as they usually aren't good with other things.

Information is key, this makes more sense. Thank you for clearing this up. Oh my lord, $600 for a dog? What breed did you buy? :)

mjzer
Aug 16, 2012, 08:31 PM
Then I apologize, I assumed based on a comment directed towards this thread. Most dogs are inherently out door animals. Certain dog breads are more emotionally attached to their owners than others I can agree which makes it more convenient for them to be an indoor animal. My dog is a German Shepard and she definitely has separation anxiety which makes it difficult for her to be outside by herself but that doesn't mean she can't be left outside. I would rather my dog running outside than being cooped up inside where she couldn't release her energy. We do spend a lot of time outside with Emmy, playing fetch, the kids chasing her, her chasing the kids.

On the flip side, the German Shepard sheds all year long. They blow coat twice a year. We are vacuuming the house every day to keep the hair to a minimal.

mjzer what's the breed of dog that you brought home? This would be easier to address knowing that information. If it's a small breed dog I can understand a little more. Medium to large breeds are more commonly outside animals.

She is 1/2 zu and 1/2 bischon. She is definitely an indoor dog. I take well care of her and she does not potty in house and is limited to only the laundry room. I too feel you should not choose a dog over a husband, but feel he could be more mature and comprise some.

mjzer
Aug 16, 2012, 08:32 PM
Information is key, this makes more sense. Thank you for clearing this up. Oh my lord, $600 for a dog? What breed did you buy? :)

1/2 zu and 1/2 bischon

Wondergirl
Aug 16, 2012, 08:32 PM
Your husband doesn't work at all and is home all day (with the dog)?

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2012, 08:34 PM
I had a Golden Retriever. He was a house dog in that he slept in the house. He was outside a lot in the summer, we lived on a lake and he loved to swim and chase deer, but as I said he slept in the house. He loved being around the family, liked being where we were, so we had no problem with him being in the house. He shed too but I brushed him every day and had him groomed through out the year.
I also had a poodle, lost him last year. He was a house dog. I walked him twice a day but he did not like being outside and It would have been cruel to make him stay out.

mjzer
Aug 16, 2012, 08:34 PM
Your husband doesn't work at all and is home all day (with the dog)?

Yes, but so am I as I work from home on the internet. So dog is not an issue.

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:34 PM
She is 1/2 zu and 1/2 bischon. She is definately an indoor dog. I take well care of her and she does not potty in house and is limited to only the laundry room. I too feel you should not choose a dog over a husband, but feel he could be more mature and comprise some.

You definitely have changed my outlook on this issue with the added information. Thank you. I'd have to agree that if you or your child is primarily taking care of the dog/puppy and there are no additional issues (puppy/dog tearing up cloths, peeing/pooping inside) than your husband is over reacting. The only thing left is if he were allergic and you haven't said anything about that so I assume he's just being childish.

mjzer
Aug 16, 2012, 08:36 PM
You definitely have changed my outlook on this issue with the added information. Thank you. I'd have to agree that if you or your child is primarily taking care of the dog/puppy and there are no additional issues (puppy/dog tearing up cloths, peeing/pooping inside) than your husband is over reacting. The only thing left is if he were allergic and you haven't said anything about that so I assume he's just being childish.

Not allergic.. maybe jealous as he thinks the dog is treated better than him. Definitely childish in the end. I feel too like if a dog is an issue there is more behind it in the end.

Homegirl 50
Aug 16, 2012, 08:37 PM
You are right he was not pressured into getting the dog. We have been married 13 years and he has never worked. I have always supported him. I received money when my mom died and bought a house. I feel I should be able to have a dog. I spent over 600.00 to purchase dog and we got her 600 miles away. He took me to get her. I don't feel now that we have had her two months he should be acting the way he is. I don't ask him to take of her. I bath her, take her to the vet and to comprise I keep her in the laundry room she does not have run of the house. She does not potty in house. She is a good dog. On the other hand my husband is being a big baby and crying over a dog. I agree also I don't trust people that aren't good to animals as they usually aren't good with other things.
I figured this was about more than the dog. Sounds like you are fed up with your husband. Why does he not work?

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:37 PM
I had a Golden Retriever. He was a house dog in that he slept in the house. He was outside a lot in the summer, we lived on a lake and he loved to swim and chase deer, but as I said he slept in the house. He loved being around the family, liked being where we were, so we had no problem with him being in the house. He shed too but I brushed him every day and had him groomed through out the year.
I also had a poodle, lost him last year. He was a house dog. I walked him twice a day but he did not like being outside and It would have been cruel to make him stay out.

Emmy sleeps in the house as well. I have her trained that she'll lay her head on the bed looking at my wife and I until I/we tell her yes or no. Seriously, that pathetic sad face she gives, how can you tell her no :) Anyway, animals are a blessing and I believe the OP husband needs an outlook change. What makes the family happy is good, partake in the happiness.

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:40 PM
Not allergic..maybe jealous as he thinks the dog is treated better than him. Definately childish in the end. I feel too like if a dog is an issue there is more behind it in the end.

I'm sorry to hear this. No one should ever be jealous of the attention of a pet and definitely not of a child which could very well become if he doesn't handle his insecurities.

I'd have to agree with Wondergirl in wondering WHY he doesn't work? Is he disabled? Unwilling? Just not able to find a job?

DsprtCfsd
Aug 16, 2012, 08:49 PM
1/2 zu and 1/2 bischon

Sounds like a beautiful mix definitely an indoor dog. We had a Jack Russell for awhile. I really miss her but she had a serious dominance issue with Emmy and well, big dog doesn't like little dog telling her what to do :( My wife's brother took her so at least she's being taken care of.

She used to sneak up in bed with us and crawl under the covers and lay at our waists. Poor pup was a bit cold :)

smoothy
Aug 17, 2012, 03:19 AM
As I dog owner I am offended by the comment " Its a dog...it will be DEAD in the next 10-14 years."

I get your point but that is a bit callous.
It is a silly thing to leave your husband over a dog.
He committed to get the dog and now does not want it, that is childish. I don't know what to tell you. I don't trust people who are cruel to animals.
Have you told him how much you and your daughter care for the dog? Is he this way with other things. This sounds like it is about more than the dog.

Listen I'm a lifelong dog lover... but what I find cold and callous is anyone that makes a me or the animal type demand... or more precisely, puts an animal on a equal or higher level than their own commitment to another person.

Fact is dogs don't live that long compared to people... its a commitment, but not like a Parrot that may live 75 years.

Cat1864
Aug 17, 2012, 06:32 AM
Is your husband healthy or does he have any medical issues? What does your husband do all day? Is he the stay-at-home daddy taking care of your daughter while you work? Is he doing his own thing and not contributing to the household in any way? Ways of contributing are taking care of the house, helping you with your work, yard work, laundry, etc.

Do you love him?

Is this really about the dog or are you fed up with your husband? How does he treat your daughter? How does your daughter react to him? Why was he against getting a dog? Why did he change his mind?

This may seem harsh, but it is thinking about the dog instead of the humans: You might need to think about re-homing her. She is a mix of toy breeds that were bred to be companion animals. It is in their temperament to be with people and to please them. Your husband is taking his frustration and anger out on her (yelling and clapping at her for no reason other than he feels like it shows a lack of self-control.) If this continues, she will become confused about what is good behavior and what isn't. She will start exhibiting negative behaviors. Read the Dog forum and you will start to understand.

You might think about marriage counseling if you think there is a marriage left to save. Frankly, I think the dog is an excuse to finally do something about a deeper issue that has been bothering you.

JudyKayTee
Aug 17, 2012, 07:05 AM
My opinion? The dog is the straw that broke the camel's/OP's back.

This isn't about the dog. This is about the marriage.

On the other hand, not a husband but I have ended relationships because of the way men have treated my dog(s). I'm not saying you have to kiss the dog good night, but if I'm a little nervous about leaving you in the same room, alone with the dog, if your dislike, distaste, distrust shows, you are not the person for me.

That's not saying "you" aren't perfect for someone else. You just aren't so perfect for me!

I'd like to chime in on "outside dogs." I've had dogs my whole life. Some are more dependent than others. They all need companionship. I get into the subject on the dog board all the time. My dogs are not my children. They are my dogs. When I read the "my baby did this" or that posts I have to keep from screaming. I realize that's just me.

I just don't see the point of outside dogs - they tend to bark a lot (at everything). They aren't protection because when the robbers were breaking in the front door I'd have to run out the backdoor and unchain the dog. Outside dogs, in general, get less and less attention as time goes by. They get injured and teased. If you don't want or can't handle a dog, don't get one! I'm reminded of a statement I took from a guy who owned some sort of very large constrictor snake. He had it for "protection." How does this work? When someone breaks in he throws the snake at the bad guy?