I need information on the guidelines for a person to be guilty of child abandonment. My husband wants to adopt my son, but we have an absolutely, 100% absent parent to deal with first. We just need to be informed of the steps that need to be taken... steps that will be as painless as possible and that will also not endanger the peaceful, stable, comfortable environment that we have strived for over the past 3, almost 4, years since my sons biological "father" decided that his life would be better? easier? without my son in his life. Where do we turn and what needs to be done to turn to a new, better chapter in all of our lives?

I'm seeking info about child abandonment. My son, who's five, has had no contact whatsoever with his biological father since June of 2009. My husband is really wanting to adopt this boy, but we r not sure how to approach this or begin to go about getting this dream completed. Please help us out!:)

Do you know where the bio dad is? Do you have a court order for child support from the bio dad? If so, does he pay child support? Does the bio dad know that this child exists and the child is his? Has paternity been confirmed?

In other words, what steps have you taken to make the bio dad legally responsible for this child?

[QUOTyea, yea, and yes... when the father and I split up, I went to attempt receiving child support. At this same time, paternity was also established. His name is on the birth certificate and the "father" didn't try to fight it. At this point in the game of my life, he was ordered to pay the child $32/ week. I've been informed that this is the lowest amount to be ordered... he was unemployed, always unemployed, for about as long as I knew him. Its one of his ways to "dodge the bullet". Stay away from the law. He doesn't work, doesn't have a license, no car, bills aren't in his name... he's a ghost.
And, yes, of coarse, he knows that the child exists. He has known since 4/11/07, when he watched the doctor perform a c-section at 7:13a.m.! So now what?

In many states, merely not paying support and not visiting, are NOT reasons to take the rights away, it has to be criminal behavior, long term prison sentence, threats to the child.

He can be asked to sign over his rights, your attorney will do this first even before other action would be done, since this is easier and does not cost as much , if the bio dad would just agree.

What if he simply CAN NOT be found, or what if he refuses to sign off on his rights?
I have not had a "good" address for him since May/June of 2009. After that, he hopped around and stayed wherever would allow.
I guess I was under the assumption that if a parent moves and/or doesn't even attempt to contact in any way, after a certain period it was considered child abandonment. I think I'll leave well enough alone. The instant I try contacting him about signing his rights over, is the second I release the wolves! This man IS NOT NICE! He will stop at nothing to completely tear my world to pieces, bit by bit. I will not allow this to happen around my son.

What if he simply CAN NOT be found, or what if he refuses to sign off on his rights?
I have not had a "good" address for him since May/June of 2009. After that, he hopped around and stayed wherever would allow.
I guess I was under the assumption that if a parent moves and/or doesn't even attempt to contact in any way, after a certain period of time it was considered child abandonment. I think I'll leave well enough alone. The instant I try contacting him about signing his rights over, is the second I release the wolves! This man IS NOT NICE! He will stop at nothing to completely tear my world to pieces, bit by bit. I will not allow this to happen around my son.


This problem - deadbeat, useless father (or mother) - is posted frequently. Was he chronically unemployed, no place to live, no car, nothing, when you were in a relationship with him? I don't understand how people change so drastically when a child is born (if that's the case). Was he always "not nice" (your words, in caps)?

An investigator can find him. The Court can also Order that he be notified by publication (use of a newspaper ad) in certain, ordered newspapers with certain, ordered language.

He has the right to go to Court and ask for visitation with your child. Whether he ever will, of course, is probably anyone's guess.

Do we know what State/Country you're in?

Why do you think you need to deal with the absent parent FIRST? You file for adoption and, if you can't find the father, you have to satisfy the court that you made a good faith attempt to find him. You need an attorney to process the adoption for you. The attorney will prepare the proper paperwork to get the adoption through.

I have adpoted 5 children and in the case of my first son the courst sent letters and tried to contact the biological parents in person with no luck, so the last time we went to court the judge said the last step in an effort to notify the biological parents was to put an ad in the paper and if there were no response from that, which there was not and the next day we went to court he granted me and my son with new birth certificate and completed adoption papers and it was final.

I have adpoted 5 children and in the case of my first son the courst sent letters and tried to contact the biological parents in person with no luck, so the last time we went to court the judge said the last step in an effort to notify the biological parents was to put an ad in the paper and if there were no response from that, which there was not and the next day we went to court he granted me and my son with new birth certificate and completed adoption papers and it was final.

What will qualify as a good faith attempt to contact the bio parent(s) will vary from court to court. The point is that an attempt MUST be made. An attempt that will satisfy the court. If the court is satisfied that the attempt was done in good faith, and there is no objection entered against the adoption, then it is likely to go through.

Also, a step parent adoption is different from a full adoption (which is what you did). I suspect, you were adopting children already in the system, whose parents had abandoned them.