My wife and I We have had a tough few years together. We got married 4 years ago last may and had great plans for the future. Within 12 months my 2 daughters from a previous relationship kind of got dumped on us, all seemed OK at first and my wife who has no children and never wanted children,seemed to throw herself into looking after them and care for them but things soon turned sour and my wife soon started to get down about these kids intruding in her life. Understandably my loyalties were torn between my daughters and my wife causing many arguments. I tried to be as sympathetic as I knew how but it never seemed enough. In the end after about 2 years, my youngest daughter (15) decided she wanted to live with her aunt and shortly followed my eldest daughter(20) going to live with friends. This should have been a new start for us. We plodded on through life but the intimacy within our relationship was gone and my wife just wouldn't communicate about it so I just carried on hoping things would get better with time, big mistake. We also had money troubles as my wife was mature student doing a university degree so had no real income. Anyway last week I called my wife as usual in my work break and she seemed down, I asked what was wrong and she said we will talk about it when I get home, didn't like the sound of this. I got home and asked what is wrong, she said she was fed up with her life and didn't think she was in love with me anymore. This totally crushed me. I tried to get explanations and she said she had been down for years and that I hadn't supported her enough. I asked is there anyone else, she said there definitely wasn't. After much talking and crying she got a bag together and left. My mind was all over the place trying to find a reason. I then checked her online phone itemisation and found a new number she had called at strange times. The following day she came around for a few things and I asked her about the number, eventually she said it was a friend from way back, I pushed on this and it turned out it was her 1st love from some 20 years back and they had just got back in contact through Facebook, but denied there was anything going on, it all still didn't make sense. In a moment of madness and curiosity I took her phone off her and found text conversation between the 2 of them, the messages were sent within 1 hour of her walking out on me and she was saying things like I can't wait to hold you in my arms again and I hope we can build a future together. This totally crushed and enraged me and I have to admit I hit out for the first time ever and cut her lip, something I regretted as soon as contact was made and a image that will haunt me forever, she is the one person I never ever want to hurt.
I have since realised the breakdown in our marriage started a long time ago and I didn't see it and now I do I can do nothing to repair it. We are in pretty much daily contact since she left but she says she doesn't think she will ever want to come back as she doesn't live me like she should.
This woman is everything in my world, we had such a good loving relationship before our troubles and I can see what went wrong and I know in my heart we can put it right if she gives us a chance.
Can anyone advise on what I can do to win her back or have I lost her forever?

Let her go and get on with your life and with your daughters. You need to get a lawyer and start the process.

Thanks califdadof3,does everyone who has read this post feel the same? Am I holding on to something that is never going to be or is there a way to win back her love?
It has now been 2 weeks since she left and she is still in daily contact with this guy but as yet haven't met up as he lives 120 miles away. She insists she does want to meet him and wants to see if there is anything in it. But also still insists on wearing her wedding ring and still willing to give me a little kiss if I ask for 1 but am unsure if this is because she wants to or just for my benefit. I am totally confused by all of this and don't know how to move forward but I am fed up of sounding desperate and want to become the man I once was as life has beaten me down and I lost my zest for life long before our break up... HELP!!

I'd leave it and her alone.
Personally if you had hit me I would not be offering to kiss you. What she did was bad but going through her phone and then hitting her was over the top and I would not trust you not to do it again if you got mad.

Your marriage had some problems you were not aware of or chose to ignore. It is now over. File for divorce and be done with it.