Who I thought was my bio dad was a dead beat, a drunk and rarely around. I chased him most of my life, trying to force him to be a part of mine. When I was 17 my mother sat me down and told me that he was not my father, that this other man was, and that he wanted to meet me.
I was in shock, and confused. I kindve felt I didn't belong anymore. I had a relationship kindve with my new found father for about 4 years. My mom died and I stopped all contact. Not because he was a bad man or anything I just was still confused. With my mom gone, I didn't feel forced anymore. Now I am 33. I have 3 kids and have been married almost 13 years. I found my new found father on Facebook recently and contacted him. I have been looking for him for about the last 9 years. But his name is very common and there are a million of them out there. Anyway through a friend of a friend and the 6 degrees of separation I found him. We have been talking for about a month now multiple times a day, He is so grateful I found him as I am his only kid. He is coming to visit in a few weeks and I am really excited because it is on my terms this time. Anyway here is my dilemma. My sister won't listen to me about it unless I get a paternity test, She has a hard time still with this because for our whole lives we believed her father was mine as well.
I believe this man is my true father, I look like him and his family. I feel it in my heart he is my father, I don't feel I should have to do a paternity test to prove to them. I guess I am also afraid of the possibility of it being negative and then losing the one thing I have wanted my whole life. Can someone please give me some advice. I need my sisters support more than anything. She is my best friend. But I long for the relationship I have with "my dad" as well.