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View Full Version : Ex is too far for us to have a healthy relationship


Advice100
Aug 5, 2012, 10:53 PM
My ex and I dated over two years. He moved with his family to another state and I went off to college. We are over 6 hour drive away. We love each other and wanted to stick through this but got too stressed every time we talked on the phone. The relationship wasn't going where it should have and we weren't happy because we were too far away and we only saw each other once every two months or so. We are only 19 and it's a lot to ask. My ex is getting a running scholarship and as well as being in the military reserves he is figuring out his life. We just need time to grow. How do I not feel clingy I him? I want him to text ME, he does, but not as often as I text him. I know he loves me he told me two days ago that he does even though he shouldn't right now ;) I want him to be mine and I hate thinking of him and someone else ! We believe we r destined to get married but we need to be young first. Help !

Homegirl 50
Aug 6, 2012, 07:49 AM
There is no help. You just have to accept that this is the way it is. Stay active. Will you be going to school, do you work?

Advice100
Aug 6, 2012, 10:03 AM
I am going to school, yes. I am also trying to find a job. I just don't know what to do because I miss him

Homegirl 50
Aug 6, 2012, 06:13 PM
I'm sure you do, but with school and work your mind will be occupied and it will get easier.

Advice100
Aug 6, 2012, 06:23 PM
[I agree... However, it just sucks because this had to be done for now but we didn't really want it.. We have to grow on our own if we ever want to think about marriage.

Homegirl 50
Aug 6, 2012, 06:34 PM
This may turn out to be a good thing for both of you.
It will get easier.

Advice100
Aug 6, 2012, 06:49 PM
It definitely will... We talk a lot but I am trying to give him space for rght now. I hate the thought of him and Someone else, also the same goes for him.

Homegirl 50
Aug 6, 2012, 06:51 PM
Why does he need so much space?

Advice100
Aug 6, 2012, 07:43 PM
Well, we did break up, so I can't talk to him every single day. Also, like I said he has a lot on his plate. He is moving off to college and figuring out a job etc. the distance stressed us out and he is too busy to talk all the time.

Homegirl 50
Aug 6, 2012, 08:02 PM
So you guys are officially broken up.
Well you need to move on with your life. I know it will take a while to get over him but once you are in school and working you will be OK. This break may be good for both of you.

Advice100
Aug 6, 2012, 08:15 PM
I am but like I said it was for a reason that is stupid so it is hard I get over. We still talk and might continue as 'friends with benefits.' so what do I do ? Do I give him space so I don't annoy him ?

Homegirl 50
Aug 6, 2012, 08:24 PM
If he is looking to be friends with benefits with you, why should you be worrying about annoying him? That is crazy. If he broke up with you, you should not be sexing him and talking to him when it is beneficial to him.
Leave this boy alone. You don't break up with someone and then leave them on a string.
Move on girl. I would imagine that is what he is doing.

Advice100
Aug 6, 2012, 08:38 PM
Well. We are kind of stringing each other along. We love each other but like I said how are you able to get over a break up when you both wanted it to work but the timing of the relationship is off ? He bought me an iPhone and still pays for it and he also bought me a promise ring.

Homegirl 50
Aug 7, 2012, 08:02 AM
So what! He also broke up with you. Why? How long is this "growing up" thing supposed to take?
Get on with your life girl. Don't let this guy string you along. The only way you are going to get through this is to back away from him.

Advice100
Aug 7, 2012, 09:16 AM
Like I said we broke up because we are 19 years old and being this far away in a relationship this serious during college is too hard. I'm going to get through college (3 more years) and see where we stand

Homegirl 50
Aug 7, 2012, 09:30 AM
Well enjoy your time in the meantime. Don't waste your energy and time pining for him.

Advice100
Aug 7, 2012, 09:56 AM
Okay. I will ! We love each other and respect one another and are best friends. We will get back together later on but for now I'm focusing on myself

Homegirl 50
Aug 7, 2012, 10:19 AM
Good girl.
I wish you well

Advice100
Aug 7, 2012, 10:28 AM
Thank you ! I appreciate the help