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Chrissybateman
Aug 1, 2012, 11:45 PM
Im 18 years old. Had to grow up very fast. I tried having a relationship with a guy for a year. He was a very good person in the beginning but then started changing his actions. He actually started becoming obsessive, every time I left my house hed some how be there. That was just the beginning. I blew that part off because I was a imature teenager and didn't know how serious a situation could get. Then stared coming the untrustworthy part where if I would talk to someone he would act even more crazy. At this point I started realizing something's wrong, something's not right. I kept listening to him every time hed say he changed, so therefor id keep working on our realationship. Id told my mother at this point about what he was doing she also thought something was wrong. But I'm still a stupid teenager so I kept giving him chances after chances. He would tell my mother when she wouldn't let me out of the house that I'm grown and don't need her in my life and don't have to listen. Then hed end up outside my house my mom would threaten him that she was going to call the police then hed leave and call me and appologize. Then when I wouldn't have sex with him hed get really mad at me and start cursing at me and getting in my face and threatening me until I gave in. then it got to the point where he would be so bipolar and crazy that if he dodnt like something I said or did hed lock me in his car and would drive so fast that I couldn't get out. Everyday... Then hed threaten me that if I left him hed kill himself and me and would drive 80 miles an hour down the side street. And one day he told me to come outside one day at school and I got in his car and he got mad cause I had to go back into school so he took me from school annd wouldn't let me out of his car until he calmed down and even then I had to run to the nearest house of someone I knew just so hed leave me alone. At this point I told him I'm done for good and hadn't seen him in almost a week other then him driving by my house. One day me and my sister were going to the mall for her birthday and he ended up behind my car and told me to pull over ao we could talk so I did and he wanted to try us back out I told him know and he needed help then he got out of his car and looked like he was going to punch me but I put my car in reverse before he got over to me and tried getting help before he caught up. I didn't have a phone or anything but I ran into a stop sign and obviously couldn't pass it so while I'm letting traffic pass he catches up and runs into the back of my car not hard but good enugh for me to fly in the air and he started pushing my car into moving traffic. While my foots on the brake. I end up going to the nearest house I could and they followed me home so I didn't get messed with. At that point I'm devistated of what happened. And I went home and told my mother we called the police filded a report. Then the police over went to his house and hears his side and he lies. And says he was ging so fast that he couldn't stop. But that still doesn't explain the pushing my car with his car. The cop ends up coming back to my house to tell me and my mother that he seems like a put together guy. My jaw dropped at that point I was like not even a police officer is helping me. And as a teenager I'm scared to even leave my house. The next step was him embarest and him telling people that I was a hoe and that he brook up with me. Spreading rumars. Hating on me. Then I was really close with my ex boyfriend because he was close with my family. And hung out with my sisters. One day he walked me home and ended up beating him up. He left me alone after that. Turns out a
Couple months later I find out I'm
Pregnant.6 months pregnant and
Didn't know. So while he was doing all those things I was pregnant. But didn't know. I automatically new he was the father so I contacted his parents. And told them everything and told them how ever he and you guys wanted to act on this go for it. HE Didn't. He denied my daughter, said that she wasn't his because she was going to be a whore just like me! Cool huh? Well I was scared any way out of my mind to even talk to him so I left it alone he wanted nuthing to do with her and I didn't feel it was safe but I gave him the opportunity. He also interacted with drinking, smoking weed, and I heard he was selling and doing pills. My daughter is now 2 years old. Hasn't even seen him once. From the past we had he also went to this ladys house to party because she partied with him and other people she has three kids. One was about 5 and he was smoking a blunt there as I walked in and cought him smoking because I didn't alow it he told the little girl to come over to him and he blew the weed smoke in her face. And thought it was funny. I yelled and walked away because I couldn't beleave that. So anyway my daughter was about 6 months and I started seeing my ex again and he loves her. He exepts and knows everything that can happen in
The future which is a really great
Thing.. I've known him for 10 years now
And he never seems to fail at anything. So now the biological fathers friends and family are really pisted off cause he's not doing anything about my daughter. He lost a lot of people and popularity from it. So then I heard he wanted to get a dna test. I was fine with it but was not fine with the fact that he needs help I was really for my daughters safety. So with my mother we contacted him and his parents and ask everything of why now I'm not okay with this and she doesn't know you. I wanted to see if he really
Changed. When I met up with him he thought it was a huge joke. And I could tell he didn't chang and something is still wrong. He sick and I
Guess he stopped his drugs but him
Himself and his head didn't chang. I
Feal like he doesn't care and he feels
Presured into doing this. I could care
Less about child support I'm doing fine on my own. But long story short there's something wrong with him and I don't feel safe with it around my daughter. And he puts on such a good act for people that know one beleaves me other then the people who seen it happen. But that's all I have. He needs to be stopped my dauggter does not deserve to be hurt by this. And I feel hopeless cause there's nuthing I can do. And I for one isn't going to wait around one day to come and see my daughter not be there because of her crazy father that no one believes me over. Please tell me what my next step after I get the dna test is. I need help.

ScottGem
Aug 2, 2012, 03:25 AM
He is the father, he has rights. However, he has to go to court to enforce those rights. If he is listed on the birth certificate and/or signed an acknowledgement of paternity then you have equal rights. (Frankly, I just skimmed through that wall of text, because it was so hard to read).

If you have full custody granted by a court you can control. When he sees your child. You will not get his rights terminated unless you have someone to adopt her.

Chrissybateman
Aug 2, 2012, 09:10 AM
He is the father, he has rights. However, he has to go to court to enforce those rights. If he is listed on the birth certificate and/or signed an acknowledgement of paternity then you have equal rights. (Frankly, I just skimmed through that wall of text, because it was so hard to read).

If you have full custody granted by a court you can control. when he sees your child. You will not get his rights terminated unless you have someone to adopt her.
Ok well thank you anyway. He is not on the birth certificate. And the only thing he did as of now is went to child support for free dna testing. What is the next step I should take as I'm waiting for the dna test. Should I make the first move and take him to court. Or should I wait for him to take me to court, I'm not sure on what to do. And as it goes to get him his rights terminated and to have someone adopt he would need to approve of that correct? Sorry the message before was so long and messed up I'm typing on a phone.

AK lawyer
Aug 2, 2012, 09:23 AM
... He is not on the birth certificate. And the only thing he did as of now is went to child support for free dna testing. What is the next step I should take as im waiting for the dna test. Should I make the first move and take him to court. Or should I wait for him to take me to court. ...

Ask the child support agency to see about collecting chid support from him. But other than that, there is no reason you would need to go to court. He isn't going to be able to enforce any claim to visitation without first obtaining a court order. The ball is in his court.


... And as it goes to get him his rights terminated and to have someone adopt he would need to approve of that correct? ....

If you want "someone" to adopt your child with you remaining as the mother, that would have to be (in the U.S. anyway) a step-parent adoption. In order to go for a step-parent adoption, there first has to be a step-parent; i.e.: you have to be married.

The father of your child would need to be notified of any petition for step-parent adoption.

smm841986
Aug 2, 2012, 09:43 AM
If you feel he is dangerous you could file for an order of protection BUT the burden of proof for that is on you. My first piece of advice is document everything. Keep any text messages he sends (and your replies), record phone calls, keep letters, emails, etc. Never meet with him alone always with witnesses and in public places. Now all this stuff you are hearing from others FORGET it, it is hear say and NO judge will give 2 licks about it. They want cold hard facts and proof. Whether you need his child support or not that isn't the question it is your daughters money and she deserves it. But if he pays that also means he will get visitation with her. Now I don't know which state you live in but in Washington they make you both take a parenting class, and him and your daughter would have to go through counseling sessions together before he would be allowed to spend any time alone with your daughter. They do this in situations where one parent hasn't been around a child or spent time with the child. They do this to make things easier on the child and to establish a comfort level for the child and the parent. I wish you all the luck in the world.

ScottGem
Aug 2, 2012, 10:21 AM
But if he pays that also means he will get visitation with her.

While most of your response is good, I had to correct this one. Support and visitation are dealt with separately in most areas. It is not a given that if support is being paid that he will get visitation. If it can be proven that he is a danger to the child. visitation can be withheld or at least restricted to being under supervision.

Chrissybateman
Aug 2, 2012, 10:55 AM
Thank you very much your information helped me so much.