Would you date a guy who is not good looking at all but he is super sweet and caring an lives 400 miles away and has 2 kids?

I have been talking to this guy for 3 months and I feel like I have feelings for him but the fact that he is bad looking and he is 37 and I'm 25 makes me feel like I don't want to date him. But he cares for me a lot and advices me on things that are good for me!! I feel like I want to tell him that I don't want to date him no more but he tells me things that he loves me and stuff and I feel bad leaving him for his age and appearance I'm not saying I'm beautiful but omg I need advice

How are you two dating when you're 400 miles apart? Do you mean it's just an online relationship or are the two of you actually meeting?

Oh it has been over the phone he's my friends friend we have had spent the last 3 months talking every chance we got

Then you're worried too much about all of this. If you've never actually dated and now you just don't feel comfortable with the whole thing, break up with him. Tell him you can't handle this long distance thing and you need to end it.

If this bothers you NOW when you hardy know him, it will definitely bother you later as this progresses. Break up now before either of you gets too invested in the relationship.

I totally agree with both of you but it's so hard for me to hurt someone who shows so much interest how do I overcome my guilt

I totally agree with both of you but it's so hard for me to hurt someone who shows so much interest how do I overcome my guilt
You say what someone said earlier in this thread, that a long-distance relationship is just not working for you. Why would that hurt him? Why would you feel guilty?

Oh, and then break it off cleanly with no mixed messages.

You can't continue with someone simply because of guilt. That is not healthy for you and in the long run, not healthy for them either.

Better to break it off now before too much time goes on.

You have an easier way out here. You don't have to tell them that you don't find them attractive or anything. You only need to say that you have been thinking about this long distance thing and you can't handle it. It's not for you.

Why can't you be honest and tell the guy you changed your mind about meeting and dating? Doesn't matter what he looks like or if he loves you, just stop leading him on.

I totally agree with both of you but it's so hard for me to hurt someone who shows so much interest how do I overcome my guilt

You will feel more guilt if you continue to lead him on.
You're not really dating, you have a phone relationship. Tell him you are just not wanting to continue the long distance thing. Don't continue to string him along

I also feel if it is just looks, one has to worry about being shallow and what values you place in a possible dating partner.

Ok thanks Im going to tell him that the long relationship thing doesn't work for me & hopefully he'll stop telling me that he misses me a lot soon! Should I just ignore his calls for now & let a little time pass by because he keeps begging me and I already told him that we should just be friends

An u know in not shallow because I dated a guy for 6 yrs and he was not good looking either people kept telling me I could do better they were right but not in the appearance aspect but in his life aspects I'm glad I got out of that

I don't think you can be friends at this point. You are going to have to make a clean break and not drag this out which would give him hope.

Oh yeah that makes a lot of sense because it has all been over the phone so that would continue him hoping for me to change my mind! I'll just tell him we shouldn't talk no more not even friends because that could hurt both of us in the long run

Omg he keeps calling & calling me he can call me up to 20 times in just a couPle of minutes this makes me feel more bad

You have already let this get to far out of hand, and need to nip this in the bud by telling him straight up to leave you alone, and follow up by ignoring him and blocking his number.

No more of this wishy washy hand wringing over this BS guilt. Its more like cowardice.

I am ignoring his calls I can't block his number because my phone is old but yesterday Isis tell him we should not talk at all so either of us gets hurt! I will text him to leave me alone thanks for your advice

Omg and now he has called me 65 times in 40 minutes I had to silence my phone because its 6am omg

This guy apparently really really likes me and I told him that I just want to be friends but if I talk to him I might just agree to talking to him as boyfriends because I like the way he talks and expresses himself I just don't like how he looks and that he's in L.A. And I'm in San Francisco but I would feel bad telling him that I don't want to talk to. Him no more because he ain't good looking we have talked for 3 months

He sounds like he has issues.

Tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to stop doing this. It's over, he needs to accept that, he needs to stop calling you.

Yeah that sounds crazy. How old is this guy?

I know it sounds crazy and by now he has called me even more times than earlier and he won't stop omg

Oh and he is 37 maybe because he's this old he's insecure he'll get to get a good girl that he likes a lot and likes him back

The guy I was talking to for 3 months I cut him loose and told him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore because the long distance relationship over the phone didn't work for me he lives far away and he keeps calling and calling and texting he even sent me one message just now saying that if I don't answer or call him back he's going to call my house at 1am and he doesn't care who answers!! What should I do I told him nicely that I didn't want to keep talking but he won't understand

You contact your mobile phone carrier and have his number blocked from your phone.

If your saying you don't like him as you don't find him attractive, then you need to stop bieng so shallow, nice guys are hard to come by, but if you cannot see him in your future, don't mess him around, tell him straight your not interested, and that you would like to remain friends, and if he is truly a nice guy, he will eccept that, and continue being friends, I would not advise dating him,as he could be anyone if you have not met him.

Yeah I haven't met him. And I did tell him that I just want us to be friends and I know I'm not shallow but I just can't think of having a long distance relationship with someone I've never seen

When nice doesn't work, cuss words are appropriate. Why haven't you blocked him as was suggested? Quit being such a wuss, and set this guy straight. Report him for harassment

Yes, you may need to tell him that if he doesn't stop, you are going to report him for harassment as talaniman suggested. Sometimes nice just isn't good enough. You try to be nice and some people just don't get it.

Well thankfully he had not called me at all today maybe yesterday he finally got a clue that I didn't want to be his girlfriend lets hope he doesn't call me tomorrow because I really don't want to report him but if I have to I will