Log in

View Full Version : Confusing friend/ex-girlfriend relationship.


Woodsman1988
Jul 22, 2012, 12:10 PM
I'm looking for some serious advice about my complicated feelings for my ex-girlfriend who is sort of a FWB at the moment.

I'm 24yrs old. Been in countless failed relationships. In April I met this amazing woman who completely rocked my world. We had so many things in common, she enjoyed my company, and confided things in me that she wouldn't even tell her best friends who have been around her since she was a child.

I completely fell in love with this woman, but made a very big mistake by letting her move in with me not 2 months after we started seeing each other. On the 3rd month she told me that I wasn't making her happy despite my countless attempts at trying to make her happy by doing little things to make her smile, without trying too hard to the point of not being myself for her.

She told me that she "needed to love herself before she could love anyone else" when she broke up with me. I still don't know what I did wrong to make her do this. I'm a good man. I've never swore/yelled at her, and I've only ever done whatever I could to make things work.

We still texted a little bit during the break-up as she needed to move her things out. But all the while she kept trying to push me away; for weeks this happened, then she told me that she had been hiding her true feelings about me and still wanted me in her life.

She told me things like "I still love you, and I still want you in my life" but then not a few days later treats me completely different while I was at a party with her and her friends. She completely avoided me and started flirting with her next door neighbour when she knew I would be hurt by it. I was extremely angry about it, and tried to talk to her about it. She blamed it on the alcohol but I knew that it wasn't it.

I don't know if she is toying with me or not. When I told her not to play mind games with me she looked at me with a sad face and told me that she would never do that to me.

I really don't know what she wants in her life, she has been putting me through an emotional roller-coaster ever since we broke up with things that she says, and her actions.

As an example: I figured I'd try my hand at meeting some women online to avoid the regular bar/club scene, and wouldn't you know it. I found a picture of her and a profile about how she is looking for another relationship. I'm not stalking her by any means. I've deleted her off Facebook and most of the other communications that we used while dating, but kept her cell number. I don't check up on her or any of that kind of stuff, but when I saw that profile on that dating site, I was completely crushed as I feel like she's been lying to my face the entire time after we broke up, and is just using me for sex at this point.

I know that she is better than all of this, and I don't know if this is just a phase or if she really is enjoying what she's doing to me.

Please help!

Homegirl 50
Jul 22, 2012, 04:19 PM
You met her in April. You don't really know her. She is obviously a cruel person, an immature one or a nut. Either way, I think you need to go No Contact and get over her. Have nothing else to do with her. She is bad news.

Woodsman1988
Jul 22, 2012, 11:13 PM
You met her in April. You don't really know her. She is obviously a cruel person, an immature one or a nut. Either way, I think you need to go No Contact and get over her. Have nothing else to do with her. She is bad news.

Thanks for the reply. I've been trying extremely hard to go No Contact but I always feel myself being pulled to the idea of wanting to communicate with her. I feel like I'm a glutton for punishment in this regard.

It's one thing to tell a person to "get over" someone, but I'm sure you know that it is easier said than done, especially when I've never felt for someone as strongly as I did her.

Like I said in my post I have been in countless relationships going back years ago. I know what I want in a person and she has almost everything that I'm looking for other than what she has been putting me through the past few weeks.

I've had a very hard life, and when she walked into it I felt like things would get better, and now that things are even worse I don't know what to do or feel anymore.

Homegirl 50
Jul 23, 2012, 07:15 AM
You let self preservation kick in. When you know something is not good for you, you discipline yourself to get it out of your life. Keep at the trying.