I was in a finder bender, didn't even know I hit the lady, we bumped side's of our cars together, we stopped, didn't call the police there was a small scratch on her finder stating "oh we probably wont even want to fix that ill talk to my husband" I said if she did I knew a guy and gave her my first name only and a telephone number now 3 weeks later she's calling leaving messages stating if I don't pay she's going to take it to the police. What do I do?

Tell her to call the Police, she should have called before. You both agreed not to.
She is as innocent or guilty as you are.
Insurance an issue?
If the damage is small, and they have large deductable, they may not want to.
Witnesses?

Well if you were at fault, and I assume you are since you were willing to have it fixed.

You can not require her to get it fixed at 'YOUR FRIENDS SHOP" so you tell her to get three estimates and you will pay for having it fixed.

Or you report it to your insurer.