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skhan1025
Jul 21, 2012, 06:29 PM
I would like to marry another woman whom I like. I have Allah for his blessings and prevent me from creating a sin. I am already married and wish to marry another woman but I am worried that what if my first wife knows about this. Then she won't divorce me but she will leave separately due to this. I am confused because I would like this woman to be my second wife rather than committing adulterly and committing a sin. But the other woman says that if I have full faith in Allah then everything will be fine because its not a sin to have a second wife.

joypulv
Jul 22, 2012, 05:39 AM
I am not Muslim so can't advise on that aspect, but it would seem to me a question for my imam! This is the sort of thing all their years of training is for.

You asked this under Marriage instead of Islam. As a question just about divorce and marriage, I am totally confused. I don't see how Islam has anything to do with you hiding the reason why you want a divorce, or why a second marriage would be allowed or not based on lying to your current wife.

bigNavySeal
Jul 24, 2012, 09:52 PM
I am not a muslim, but have studied the Quran, Fiqh, and the Hadith quite a bit. You can find plenty of 'valid' sources on this matter on even the internet. Or better, as joypuly suggests, ask your local Iman.

When it comes to this matter though, I think the best thing on your side is to use your common sense, irrespective of your religion. Humans have jealous tendency and when it comes to polygamy I can imagine it to be quite a challenge and hurdle.

Ask yourself twice, can't you be happy with just your current wife? Isn't she enough for you? From my personal point of view, you would quite obviously have to discuss your considerations with your current wife, as you quite obviously will know the consequences if you don't even discuss it with her and go your way. Then again you need to be prepared for her reaction. She might question on why you want a second wife and you will need to have a good reason for it.

I think a polygamous marriage could only really work if all parties involved are on good and understanding terms, and have respect and appreciative love for each other, not just both women for the man but also both women for each other, so to create a 'threesome love bond' if that's possible, and that I think, is quite a challenge to achieve. That said, I do know some Muslim men who have multiple wife's.

There are 2 direct verses in the Quran referring to Polygyny:

And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course. (4 : 3)

You are never able to do justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If you come to a friendly understanding and practise self-restraint, Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful. (129) But if they disagree (and must part) Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He Who careth for all and is Wise. (130) (Surah 4)

Various official fatwas have also been issued on this issue:

"It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will minimize the hurt feelings such thing might produce. So it's incumbent on the husband to be kind to his wife, discuss the matter with her in a gentle and pleasant manner, and this should be coupled with spending whatever money may be necessary in order to gain her acceptance of the situation.” (The Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas)

Going for Second Marriage: Do I Need Wife's Permission? (http://www.islamawareness.net/Marriage/fatwa_05.html)

BethVader
Jul 25, 2012, 12:06 AM
Your first wife is your priority. Speak with her openly and honestly and abide by whatever decision she makes. If it meant to be, it will happen. If you push for this and she is not on board, you will regret it for the rest of your life.