My boyfriend is everything a woman needs, he listens, he compliments me, he treats me nice, he protects me, he is sweet with me, he is very attentive etc. Well he has his own flaws like impatient, controller, overly jealous which really does not bother me much. What truly bothers me that he is sometimes immature and very irresponsible. He has temporary jobs as a result he can’t pay to start college, he lives with his mom like a high school kid with boxes around him a bunk bed, he barely can pay his own personal expenses like a car, rent, utilities, a bed, clothes for his age. He says that he tries to find a better job but I don’t feel he is trying enough which I am starting to believe that maybe that is all he can be.
I am a 30+ year old woman with a bachelor degree, only a decent paying job and I am ready to get married maybe have my own condo, I like to go out for dinner once in a while, take a trip once a year but he can't do nothing like that with me. He can't even pay for his own expenses then obviously he can't pay for this other luxuries which for me would be my day to day. I know I am not the only one who wants or can do all that. I had professional friends like me capable of doing all that which was normal to me till I met him, I stopped contacting those friends because I knew with him we could not keep the same lifestyle. I kind of feel that I am putting my life on hold because of him and I don’t feel in the age of being able to wait for him any longer. I want to be able to fulfill my dreams of being engaged, married then have kids with a decent life (I don’t expect to be rich but I have not studied and worked this hard to be poor). I don’t expect him to support me, never, but want to have a partner that can work with me at least equally. I don’t want to leave him because he fulfills many other things important to the relationship yet I don’t feel that I am in love with him. What do I do? Is it true that if I would love him that I wouldn’t care whether he can pay a rent or be supported by me? I don’t even think that kind of love exists, it sounds more infatuation to me. I am confused, don’t know whether I am right or wrong. And I don’t know what to do, he asked me to wait for him but I have not seen any results in these 2 years and I don’t feel that I will ever see results. I am afraid of reaching age 40 without being married, having a family, having my own house. I just want a regular lifestyle have a family, your own place, be able to go out once in a while, take a trip at least once a year, and be able to afford necessities which is the same my old friends and coworkers can do. The only reason I don’t mention that I need someone who takes care of me and loves me and respects me is because he is all that to me. He is all that I always wanted in a relationship. I know I can't have it all but is it fair to sacrifice what I have worked hard to achieve. I am not rich, I only make a decent pay and I am not able to support him and have the lifestyle I worked very hard for. I told him many times if I was 18 I would have paid for his clothes and other expenses but now I have other needs and I can't take care of him and accomplish at the same time. I don’t want to leave him not because I think I won't find anyone like him but because I want that someone to be him. He expects me to be sweet, try to seduce him but most of the time I can't because all this other things are blocking my love. Only when I see him so sad then I feel bad and I want to hug him and hold him without being intimate. My dream is that I want to be able to look into his eyes and tell him that he is everything that I ever wanted in life…but I cant.

You have two choices:

1) Stay with him and give up everything you've dreamed of, or

2) Leave him and find someone who is willing to work as hard as you do at accomplishing those dreams.

There is no middle ground.