Hi me and My fiancé Have been trying for a baby for 5months and still haven't got pregnant!
I am now 7days late my period and my period has been regular...
I Have been having many different symptoms... e.g. Headaches... Tender boobs and nipples always seem to be errect:rolleyes:... the occasional stomach cramps every so offten through the day and during sex!. also through the day sudden outbursts of feeling sick! This isn't normal at all! And also my I'm begginig to grow out of my clothes! And I can't breath in!
But really trying not to get my hopes high just to be let down!
I would really appreciate it if you have any views on it if you could respond!
:) Thank you :)

What is your age? Age plays an important role in hormonal balances and imbalances that could be contributing to this.

I am 17 years old!

Okay, you are 17 and trying for a baby? Can I just ask why?

Why in the prime of your life would you want your total and complete independence taken away from you?

Do you have a fantastic job that will pay for everything that an infant requires?

Does that job provide medical insurance that will cover you and then the baby when it is born?

I don't mean to sound condiscending, I have 2 children around your age myself. But do you really realize what exactly it takes to raise a child? Especially if you are not married?

Yeh I do have a good job so does my fiancé! We live together have our own place!
We are very happy in our lifes! We feel that a baby will complete us! I live in the united Kingdom so I don't need insurance... we have NHS!
I have experience in working with children I have worked in children's nurserys etc... and have younger brothers && sisters that I cared for!

Okay, okay, just checking.

Now, understand that a baby will not complete you. Quite honestly a baby will tear you apart unless you are very strong in your relationship. Trust me, I have had 4 babies.

That baby will get up sick in the middle of the night, chances are you will be up with that crying baby alone. Again trust me. I already know what you are going to say. "But he will get up, he said he would help in any way necessary." To be honest, you don't know until that day comes. My husband said the same things.

Just because you have experience with children and worked in nurseries does not necessarily mean you are ready to be a mother. Just because you have younger brothers and sisters does not mean you are ready.

I am the oldest child of 3. I have a younger sister and a yonger brother. I was a licensed preschool teacher of children between the ages of 18 months to 4 years old. All of this prior to having my first child at the age of 22. I was not ready.

Oh, yeah, you are mature for your age. Well, I thought I was too. And I was, until that baby was sick in the middle of the night and stayed up for 3 days straight crying. I could not cope, and most likely neither will you.

I apreciate What you are saying me and my fiancé are very strong and determined that every step we will do together!. I have always wanted children... and he was the first to consider trying for a baby! I know in myself we are strong enough to bring up a child! A lot younger and imature girls&&boys have done it on there own!

I asked if my syptoms (above) were in you'r experience signs of being pregnant please can you give me your veiws!
Thank you

It's possible, but could be due to your tender age. Pregnancy symptoms are much the same as premenstral symptoms. Get a pregnancy test and take it in the morning.

"runs around the room screaming NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO"

Im sorry sweetheart but your crazy I turned 30 last month and I have a 18 month old baby and I have to tell you nothing in the world will prepare you for your life to be turned upside down the way it will be, unless of course you have your parents at hand that will take care of baby when you want to go out and get drunk etc because I'm being honest when I say you will give up everything, from buying that top you saw yesterday on your lunch break to nipping out for take away because you can't be arsed to cook every bit of spare cash disappears you will spend the first 3 months with sleep deprivation and arguing like hell with your other half then the next three months having little one scream because its teething don't get me wrong I would'nt change my life but I have 13 years on you and even now I wonder if we were ever truly ready.
Take a step back poppet and really look at what you are playing with its not just your life.

I have lived my life! Don't even want to go out and get drunk! I haven't drank alcohol since we decided to start trying! I am taking folic acid... when I am out shopping I am not looking at clothes for myself... we find ourselves looking more at baby clothes saving up everypenny for the child! I have a lot of family and friends that will support me... also a very close family friend that is a midwife!
What in your veiws do my symptoms look like?
Thank you

Read my answers above.

You have lived your life? Funny, I am 42 and have only started to live mine because I have had to give it all up for my children.

That statement alone shows how you are not yet ready for a child.

Honestly I'm no dr poppet I can't say but your bodys cycle changes a lot as you get older so who knows do a test.

As for having family etc around well aren't you the lucky one so when post natel depression sets in and you do nothing but cry because you don't even have time to wash your own hair you can hand the little bundle over to someone else that just about sums up every teenager in bloody britain that I see pushing a pram it grieves me something chronic I have to tell you its like those youngsters that have baby's for a fashion excessory gggrrrrrr.

I sure hope you get to prove the world wrong and don't get the finger pointed at you as so many do.

Well we will prove you Wrong!

I suppose she has not read the many other threads here about how the boy was going to support her, but when the times got rough he wanted to give up his rights.

Well we will prove you Wrong!!

Then prove it and do the right thing by that innocent human and get married first. It will be harder for him to leave when the times get tough if you get married first.

Just don't become a sheep like all the other idiots in this country your better than that a child is not the answer to everything or anything it is a life time commitment.

Just a thought but have you spoken to your mum?? What did she say

Okay, I am going to have a different approach here. It might not be popular. You could be very well be pregnant. Now a days it is different and peoples views on raising children and what age you should be has changed dramitically. There was a time like great grandparents started having children when they were 16.

Now I agree you have not experienced life so far. There is so much more. I personally wanted to start having children at 25 but I finally had my first child at 30. It is a good age.

So you are already living with your fiancé and want to start a family. What you need to do now, instead of getting into the details of whether it is a good age now or not is not really the point.

The point right now is that you could be pregnant and you need to get a pregnancy test, because acting responsible now is a must. If your pregnant you need to start prenatals right away and start the process of pregnancy counseling which is done through the doctors. Screening blood tests and the works to make sure everything is a okay.

Good luck with everything and let us know how everything works out. Get the test done is the first step, remember to buy more then one and take the test in the morning.

Joe

Joe, with all due respect, yes our ancestors were having babies at 16, 13 years of age even. But that was a long time ago, and times they have a changed since then. That was when there was no daycare, no health insurance, one room schoolhouses. That was when we did not need two income families and crime was nil. It was so long ago and different day in age that it is not necessary to bring it up.

We are different today, psychologically, physiologically, and physically.

I just hope all works out for her. She has a tough road to go if she remains on this course.

With all due respect Janine. This lady was asking about the possibility of her being pregnant and what to do now. The only advice needed really is to find out right away whether she is pregnant or not. Then if she is she can take the steps to make sure the baby has the healthiest start in life. Counseling and blood work. I hope you understand this is the most important point that needs to be made right now. She did not need a lecture. She needed advice on whether she could be pregnant and what steps to take if she is and how to find out.

Hope you understand my point of view here but many people have children at 17 and 18 and depending on the maturity and security and whether there is a committed partner is an important piece of the puzzle which this person does have. Also has the support of family and friends which is important too.



Joe

Of course I respect your view Joe. You know that. And I appreciate your candor.

However, we have so many posts here about how they were ready to have a child, but "he" was never really into it. It was all the girl. Then she comes back with how he left her and can he relinquish rights.

Joe, you know where I am coming from here.

You are right she wanted to know. But you also know what we see here in a daily basis.

Correct me if I am wrong, but how many times do we see that "they" are ready to have a baby, then the girl comes back with how he left her or he had an affair or he wants to give up his rights.

I was just trying to make a point that at 17 a person is not ready to give away his/her life, forever, just to make their relationship "complete."

A child does not make a relationship complete.

Now, if you want the answer to the question.

It could be hormonal because she is 17 and because she wants it so much. Mental attitude usually rules over the physical. You know that and so do I. Many women are late because they are hoping, wishing. But it never comes to fruition until they relax and let time take its course.

Well, obviously this is one of those situations where no matter what we tell her about personal experience as parents and how hard it is, but especially when you are young, she is going to do it anyway. She's going to have to learn it the hard way. So I'm not going to bother giving any personal advice or such on the emotional and physically demanding standpoint. (Though the advice she has received has been very honest, and meant in a kind and caring way, to warn her and help prepared her) No matter our age, our bodies and hormones are always going through changes. Usually these changes are not so dramatic that they are incredibly noticeable. But our periods do get thrown out of wack at times(for seemingly no apparent reason), and cause confusion and concern on our part. Therefore,7 days isn't incredibly late. You could be pregnant, but you could just be late, or even completely missed your period for this month.(I once went 2 months without a period, then started up again just like clockwork.) Basically all symptoms of pregnancy, are also the symptoms of an oncoming period, and therefore really can't be used as a guide. (and as far as I know, having errect nipples isn't a sign of pregnancy.also, USUALLY this early in a pregnancy, you won't be out growing your clothes, especially if its your first. It is possible, but not usually. It sounds as though it is bloating, possibly from your upcoming period?) As you are one week late, you can take an hpt. You can also try to get a blood test done. These are more accurate then hpts.Should you get a positive, set up a prenatal appointment, and start taking prenatal vitamins. Should you miss your next period, yet get negatives on your tests, definitely go see your doctor. You could be pregnant and your hcg levels just not high enough to show on a test yet, OR there could be something else causing your irregular period. I hope that your life turns out as picture perfect as you envision. Good luck and best wishes.

1n-L0v3,

I would also like to add that in your post to response to J9 and CBW, that you are going to prove them wrong. Do NOT DO things to prove anybody wrong. That is the wrong reason to do anything.

What you should be doing is acting responsible and taking this very seriously and know that your life will change and do this because you want to have a happy marriage, do this because you love your fiancée, do this because you love yourself, do this most importantly because you going to love this beautiful baby that will one day come into your life.

If you do things for the wrong reason like trying to prove somebody wrong your going to fall flat down on your face.

Please do what you need to do in your life because it is for you, your future husband and possibly your future baby. NO ONE ELSE.

Joe

Well, you have asked for people's views, so here I go... I have views on more than one part of your posting, as have a lot of other people who speak from their hearts and their experiences.

Yes, you could be pregnant, or you could just want to be pregnant so bad that your body is acting pregnant. But, you could also be miscarrying or have an ovarian cyst or a number of other things. If you think that you might be pregnant, buy a pregnancy test and if that's positive see a doctor to be sure.

Now for my other views...

Why in God's name are you and your fiancé trying for a baby? I have read the posts up to this point, and I wonder if you really understand what is involved in being a parent? First of all, you are very, very young at 17. While it's true that generations ago this was the norm, the norm was also that you were dead before you were 50 or 60. Your body isn't really ready for childbirth at 17. Are you and your fiancé aware of the dangers of teen pregnancy?

The infants of teen parents have higher rates of birth defects, lower birth weights, more disabilities, and are more prone to die within the first year of life. Teen mothers have a higher risk of a difficult pregnancy and birth problems such as anemia, problems with their bones, emotional problems before and after birth (ie: post partum blues). You will be much more likely to deliver pre-term, which can jeopardize both your and the baby's health. You will also be more likely to have a second pregnancy within a year. On top of that, the children of teen parents are more likely to spend the remainder of their lives in poverty, and to become teen parents themselves.

A mature couple doesn't make a decision to have a baby to complete their relationship. They take into account all the dangers and plan their children accordingly. They want to offer their child the most that they are able... and that includes a safe pregnancy and delivery as well as being able to meet the financial, emotional, and physical needs of the child.

Have you considered that you could have a multiple birth? What about dealing with birth defects? Are you financially capable of dealing with ongoing health problems? Will you be going back to work after the baby is born? What if there is brain damage... can you both deal with that at this age and for the rest of your lives?

Believe me, I speak from experience. Having a child is a lifetime commitment. Having two children in 10 or 11 months and one of them suffering from minimal brain damage due to a difficult pregnancy can be hell. Seeing your infant having seizures, losing your partner because they thought they could do it but they can't, fighting for special education, having the child who does not have a disability suffer from the lack of time you can spend with them, your health suffering because of the pregnancies, having to have a hysterectomy when you are 29 because of the choices you made at 16 or 17 - none of it is a picnic.

I just hope that you have given thought to all of the above. I can tell you a heck of a lot more, too. If you are not pregnant I hope you and your fiancé at least consider the things that I have written about. If you are pregnant then congratulations and may you not have to deal with any of the issues that most teenage parents do.

Hugs, Didi

Just wanted to respond to you actual question.
7 days is a little early to really be experiencing any extreme symptoms.. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my daughter, but I knew I was pregnant from day one.. just had a feeling... take the test but prepare yourself either way.. don't be upset if you are not you are young and it will happen when the time is right.. be patient.. and GOOD LUCK to you both...

As previously said, pregnancy symptoms can mimic your period being about to start. I would take a test using the first urine you pass when you wake up in the morning, to check. I was only just turned 18 when I had my first baby, it wasn't planned, but I wouldn't change my life for anything. I am now only 56 and am a great grandmother of 2 beautiful babies, and am still young enough to enjoy them. Yes it is hard work but if that is the life you want, then go ahead. Good luck.

Why are you all attacking her? I mean I don't understand she isn't like the fourteen year old a few questions ago who was trying to get pregnant. She is seventeen and seems to be pretty level headed. I had my son when I was seventeen and I didn't go out drinking and running around. I gave up any wild steaks I thought about having and settled down and have been a good mother to him. He is six now and is a very happy child. In answer to your question though Yes it is possible that you are pregnant those are all symptoms and as for it taking five months some couples it takes up to a year. I hope that you get the answer you want maybe you should go see the doctor about getting a blood test done, as they are more accurate

No one is attacking anybody. Everybody wants to make sure that she knows what she is getting into but I agree with you don8 she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders and she has the support as well which is very important.

Joe

Just to clarify things, I was NOT attacking. I was expressing my views on the situation. The subject line of the original post asked for "You Veiws (any appreciated)" so I gave my views. I agree that 1n-L0v3 is 17 and seems pretty level headed for the most part. I also agree that many teens have the ability emotionally to be good parents. I just think it's important for any young person who is thinking of having a child to do the same thing an older couple would do before trying... weigh the risks, talk to the doctor about them, consider the possibilities and how that would affect your life and THEN make a well informed decision. Hopefully, if 1n-L0v3 and her fiancée haven't considered the very high risks, they should be informed. A lot of people, even older ones, aren't aware of the very high risks involved in teen pregnancy. I was just hoping to educate and inform.

I had 2 children at 17 and was an extremely good mother. I didn't drink or run around or do drugs. I will tell you this... I wasn't banking on one of them being born early and suffering brain damage because of it. I wasn't banking on both of them being low birth weight and having breathing problems and being prone to lung infections for many years. I didn't bank on my husband being unable to hold down a job, or that he would think that babysitting while I worked two jobs meant he could lay around watching TV all day... or that money burned a hole in his pocket.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on us and smacking us in the face. If you look at my profile you will see that I have lived a life that many people don't get through. I was one of the lucky ones, but I see it further than some of the younger ones. I see how the brain damaged son ended up not being able to raise his own child and the effects of that on all of us. You just do not know unless you live it, and you just don't know that you will until it happens.

Love, Didi

I agree with Didi, I was not trying to attack either. Rather I too was trying to show that while some teens may be responsible, others cannot carry the load of something as long term and life altering as an infant.

Having a baby while still a baby carrys many mental, emotional, and physical risks that this gal may or may not be aware of, but should be. There is no changing your mind when you have a baby. There is no changing your mind if your baby is born prematurely and suffers debilitating illnesses as a result. Many adults can't handle this, so it would be doubly hard for a teen.

I too agree she sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, I just want her to make a total and complete informed decision. She seems to know all of the pros of having a baby, but should also be aware of all the cons.

Grammadidi, I have had things go wrong in my life to but I don't blame it on my son!! He has been nothing but a blessing to me and he was perfectly healthy by the way and as I said I was 16 when I got pregnant and 17 when I had him. I got married to an idiot because I MADE A BAD DECISION and then when I found out what he was really like LAZY while I worked two jobs I sent him on his way and made it fine by myself then I met and married a wonderful man and we are doing great. Every body has bad things happen in their life but it is because of their own actions not because they were not ready for a baby after all there are some people out there who should never reproduce no matter how old they are. I really don't think age has to do with maturity but I don't think that 14 or 15 or even 16 year olds should have kids but in a couple of months when this girl is 18 this would not even be up for discussion, in fact you would probably be wishing her well in her journey to parenthood. All I am saying is that not everyone is alike just because You and I had some trouble doesn't mean she will maybe this will turn out good for them. I really hope so anyway

Oh, gosh, this is getting crazy. I did NOT blame it on my son. I am GLAD you have a healthy child. No, my children had problems because they were conceived too early. I am not even talking about emotional maturity. I am talking about FACTS.

FACTS: These are not judgements but FACTS...

The infants of teen parents have higher rates of birth defects, lower birth weights, more disabilities, and are more prone to die within the first year of life.

Teen mothers have a higher risk of a difficult pregnancy and birth problems such as anemia, problems with their bones, emotional problems before and after birth (ie: post partum blues).

Teens are much more likely to deliver pre-term, which can jeopardize both the mother's and the baby's health.

Teen moms are more likely to have a second pregnancy within a year.

Children of teen parents are more likely to spend the remainder of their lives in poverty, and to become teen parents themselves.

THAT is all I was saying... these are huge risks and should be considered.

Love, Didi

I completely agree with Grammadidi. grammadidi didn't BLAME her son. She was pointing out higher risks of teenage pregnancy, and the ripple effect it made on her and her other child's life and marriage and the rest of her life... it was meant as some hard earned knowledge. And I give her credit for pointing out the bad as well as the good. With Gods help and luck, everything she is looking for will work out for her and her fiancée, but its better to be forearmed with ALL information. Its not to scare her but at least give her some thoughts on the matter.

Okay but the thing is that people of all ages have children with birth defect and show me one thing in her post that showed the postitive side... This girl is possibly pregnant and is looking forward to it what is so wrong with that? When you get pregnant you know there are risks but there are some things in life that make the risk worth while and looking into the eyes of your child is one of them

don8, I don't know you or 1n-lov3, I can only go by what I see and hear, lust like you. But if I buy a car, I want to know the good and bad, and I don't know what quwestions to ask until I get deeper into looking. I also had kids when I was young.I'm male, but nonetheless, I took the responsibilities very seriously. I DO know that many teens have kids and everything is fine, and they don't know the stats either, as I bet you didn't. But there is nothing wrong in anyone pointing out the risks using their experience, which isn't as rosy as others. If it was me, I'd be very grateful for that information. I wish these kids the best as I know grammdidi does. And also that they have a healthy, happy baby and marriage if that's in the forecats... and a whole life of good fortune

How old were you when you made a child? Was there any birth defects with your child? I was 17 and also I was adopted by my grandparents but my birth mother was also seventeen when she had me. I was born without any problems also. I was not trying to attack grammadidi's experience just trying to show her that there are up sides to having a baby young too not just bad things happen. Also I was not saying that she blamed her son I was saying that bad things happen to everyone not just people who have their children at a young age.

Okay, personally I think this thread has gone too far. And in all honesty I blame myself for the mudslinging. I was just trying to help the OP think about her decision before it was too late.

Don8, you are a lucky one. You had a child at a young age that does not have any permanent lasting effects from teen pregnancy. Many others are not so lucky.

Actually from a medical standpoint grammadidi is absolutley unequivocally correct. This is how it works:

A young girl under the age of 21 is still growing, maybe not physically, but her body still need certain vitamin, protein, and minerals that are needed in organ and brain development. When a young girl gets pregnant her body fights for these nutrients with the fetus. Typicall the fetus wins. However, at what cost? The cost is usually low birth weight and/or premature birth if the baby is lucky. The teen mother loses out thus giving birth early because she is not receiving essential nutrients necessary for her very own development. The baby loses out in that many times it is low in birth weight because the nutrients were taken from the baby by the mother.

Now, low birth weight and premature birth carry their own serious risks. Infants born early run the risk of underdeveloped lungs, wherein they must receive oxygen to survive. Oxygen, in a hospital, is a drug, and can be deadly. It can cause brain damage and/or hearing damage at the least. Premature and low birth weight babies also run the risk of being developmentally delayed. Just visit a kindergarten these days an look at all the delayed children. I guarantee you that many of the mothers were teens under the age of 21.

Understand that many of these problems may or may not be noticeable for years to come. Many times they are not visible at birth, but are only discovered during the early school years.

Now, on the other hand, yes, we all have certain risks when bearing children. Some genetic, some environmental. I had an age related risk myself when giving birth to a child at the age of 38. My risk was Down's Syndrome. I was lucky.

However, I knew the risk ahead of time. I was prepared to deal with the consequences if indeed my son was born with Down's Syndrome.

1n-L0v3 may not have been aware of these dangers. She may also not be ready to handle the consequences if it should happen.

I just wanted to say, that while there are many girls who are able to have children at a young age, and handle it beautifully,there are just as many who can not handle it as well, and don't realize what they are getting themselves into. I don't think anyone here was trying to attack 1n-lov3. She is obviously thinking of the happy side and exciting side of being a mother. I think the advice given here was all given in a manner, simply hoping to make sure that she was looking at the hard side of being a parent as well, so that she would be as prepared as possible. In any case, I don't think that the poster is even watching this thread anymore. She did ask for everyone opinion, and that any opinion would be welcome. Hopefully she was able to see that everyone was trying to help. However, this thread has started to turn a bit ugly. Usually at this point it's best to take everyone's opinions, appreciated or not, and leave them as that, before feelings start to get treaded on.