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View Full Version : My 5yr Anniversary on AMHD! No "light" skin at the end of the tunnel?


michaeljr
Jul 14, 2012, 09:30 PM
5 yr ago I joined this forum. Looking back, I have tried so many products, concoctions, and wasted at least over $10,000 in products alone, and that doesn't including dermatologist visits and treatments!

I thought I'd give a recap and then ask, as a veteran of AMHD skin lightening, what my next move should be!

Here's a timeline or synopsis of my skin lightening journey:

(2007) 5 yrs ago - My mother and other family members commented I had gotten much darker than when I was younger. I never really paid attention to my skin color but suddenly began comparing my arms and face to others and I was so much darker than every one else around. I found AMHD and a few other forums (brighterskin, brightskin, depig) and was told monobenzone is the only permanent lightener. I purchased monobenzone/microbenzone from various online sources. It was very expensive, at $100s of dollars for a few ounces.

(2007-2008ish) 4-5 yrs ago? - Monobenzone lightened up my neck and face about 1-2 shades fast but it only lasted about a month! After which brown spots started appearing overnight all over me from head to toes. Just when I thought I had found a miracle, it was like someone had pulled the plug and all my lightening I obtained in just about 4 weeks or so was so quickly reversing before my eyes. At first I blamed the suppliers, suspecting they were selling fake or mixed up mono. But after buying monobenzone directly from Spectrum Pharmaceuticals (I work at a lab in a major univ) for around $2000 for 1 kg, even that didn't work and I just got more and more blackish spots.

(2009-Present) At this point I don't remember everything exactly, because so many products just didn't work well. Some were so excessively expensive, like fairandflawless I was silly initially thought, "Oh, this is custom, and hollywood people use it? It must work!" and did nothing but burned then hyperpigmented up my skin! Stuff that did work, always had a catch-22, like Mequinol 20% kind of helped, but it burned my skin and I was always black cherry red, inflamed, peeling and smelled like kerosene! I moved onto Herbalinn which also worked and was milder, but it seemed homemade and one order/batch would vary wildly from another, first it was a thick cream in sealed jars, then it was liquidy lotion in bottles, it was weird and shady but worked, then they suddenly disappeared and by 2010 I ran out of the supply I had stashed. While it lasted, I really liked that I could be out in the sun and it kept working, unlike monobenzone where you have to hide from the sun in a dark closet for the rest of your life like MJ may he RIP. Well after a few months of not being able to get more herbalinn (benzyarbutin?) Some of the brown patches returned, but at least they weren't black, they are brownish.

Most recently, I went to a few derms and they did TCA peels but the those peels actually stimulated so much hyperpigmentation it was unbelievable. I still remember like 10mins after the derm did the peel, my skin turned black with a white frost and he said it would peel, but when it peeled, it remained a dark brown color :( So no more peels. I fired that derm, got some money back, and went to another derm who prescribed Hydroquinone 5% as a prelightener for a couple weeks, then spent hours lasering me each brown spot all over my body. That hasn't worked well enough for me to return for those expensive sessions. They'd seem to lighten the brown pigments at first but it was just the redness that gave that appearance, and laser, like TCA peel, tends to leave dark ridges of hyperpigmentation between the treated skin and not treated. Again, it is the melanocytes fighting back fiercely. Its like they got gotten smarter and tougher over the years!

In the end, 5 years gone by, I am about a shade darker than I started overall, because my skin is probably fighting off the monobenzone crystals embedded deep in my dermis basal layer, according to derms. In addition to being a shade darker than my beginning coloring, I have lots of black marks on my back, black streaks around my neck, and black marks around each hair follicle on my hands, arms, legs, feet, everywhere. My face has black freckles that seem to be growing out of my beard and sideburn stubbles, and my forehead has black streaks growing down from my hairline. I am like the black Frankenstein, of skin lightening!

Monobenzone is my biggest regret in life. I can't believe I used it 5 years ago and only for 1-2 months and I am still suffering the disfigurement, and it left me darker and patchier instead of at least a little lighter.

What else is there out there these days? Has technology improved in the past 5 yrs? I have been waiting and waiting but my derms seem to offer up the same things over and over, TCA and laser which costed more money on top of all the money I wasted on mono and other creams, and haven't worked neither.

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel, guys? What works for you? I'm on the verge of throwing in the towel. Honestly the only time my skin looks best is when I go on vacation and get lots of sun, and get darker and not evenly darker, but at least then my skin has this redness that kind of masks some of the unevenness. In the winter its worst because you see all the contrast between blackened patches and slightly lightened, and brown/darkened patches of the bulk of my skin, like a tri-color patchwork doll, an ugly one!

Wondergirl
Jul 14, 2012, 09:38 PM
I know this is a stupid question, but why is this important in the great scheme of things?

White people knock themselves out (despite doctors' warnings) to get themselves as dark as possible. Dark people knock themselves out to become as light as possible. In today's world, aren't we all much more accepting of people who are different in some way? I thought so. Of course, if it's for health reasons, that's different.

Please help me understand.

michaeljr
Jul 14, 2012, 09:57 PM
Wondergirl, I know all you say is so true and so sound in the grander scheme of things, but as superficial as it was, I made it one of my goals. What is the saying? "A man is what he wills himself to be." I thought and kind of still think, I look my best if I am lighter, because of my mixed negroid features and being one of the darkest in a beautifully mixed family where most of the girls look similar to Rihanna in skin, eyes, hair, and features, and guys look like Prince or lionel richie in the same respects. And looking at MJ, my idol because in addition to his talent, somehow, he did it, he managed to break skin-lightening history and for the world to see in very public view. I just felt like another black dude even though I was mixed. Now, my skin looks mixed up.:(

Wondergirl
Jul 14, 2012, 10:25 PM
MJ was a total mess by the time he died, plus didn't he have vitiligo that he was trying to even out?

I'm sure you are a beautiful young man, Michael, and wish you would appreciate that fact -- and realize that looks are not important at all. It's what's inside you that matters and how big your heart is.

bren12
Sep 17, 2012, 04:28 PM
Girl I wish I could give you an answer but the only thing I have is a similar story . I started using monobenzone in 2006 it worked so well, it removed all pigmentation from my skin. But this past summer 2012 I have small peewee brownspotsall over both arms and all over my legsand my back my face is so dark it looks like someone put Tar on the face The only part of my body that is light is my belly area and my feet. Everyone calls me spotted lady I am devastated and I have no idea of a remedy so I feel your pain but I do not have a remedy

michaeljr
Sep 22, 2012, 06:35 PM
Bren, have you tried biweekly Kenalog shots? I posted about it, I have been trying this with a derm only for the past 5 weeks now, already finally it seems like something is working to even out my devastated skin. You can look out for my thread on it, I will update in every 6 mo or so if its not closed.

Wgirl yes I have stopped long ago but it continues to amaze me how long the damage from monbenzone has lasted, the disfigurements.