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View Full Version : Girlfriend broke up with me but wants me to be part of her future (?? )


hawaii_red
Jul 14, 2012, 06:48 PM
Hi everybody,

So I met my now ex girlfriend 7 months ago. She's from Argentina, and I'm from the US, and we met in Canada, where we live.

Before moving to Canada, she was in an unhappy relationship, and finally broke out, much to the delight of all her friends and family.
She moved to Canada within a few weeks to 'find herself', and met me pretty much straight away. We fell insanely in love. Everything was perfect, and we were planning our life together.

Now, she is moving back to Argentina, and the plan was for me to move there also a few months after her, as I speak Spanish and enjoy this part of the world anyway.

After taking a break for a week while she made up her mind, she told me that we have to break up, as she is not yet ready for a relationship, and that she knows if she hides this from me, it isn't fair.
She told me she loves me more than she will ever love anyone, and that I am the most amazing person she has ever met, but she still needs to find herself and be alone for a while.
She told me she has no intention of meeting anyone else, but told me if I meet somebody, not to hold back (she also said this was something she found really difficult to say)
I understand this, as she met me not long after breaking up with her ex, and maybe it was all too soon.

She knows I will still move to Argentina, and she told me that she wants to stay in my life. What stood out for me, in a letter that she wrote, she told me that I am in her heart, but now isn't the moment for her to give it to me.

Does this mean one day, there will be a moment?

Do I give her, say 6-12 months without much contact and then try again when we are in Argentina? She knows we will love in the same city and she said this is something that she wants.

Or will she begin to forget?

:(

Thank you in advance for any advice

VanillaChip
Jul 15, 2012, 12:42 AM
Oof, I really feel for you. This must be an incredibly confusing and heart wrenching situation. It sounds like things are really uncertain. If we're being realistic, there's a good chance that things will not work out. So I would think about: Are you going to move to Argentina because of her, or because you want to (apart from her)? Will you be happy in Argentina if things don't work out, and you have to live there without her? I am living in Argentina right now, actually, and I can tell you, it's hard to live here, or any other foreign country, when you're alone, without a girlfriend. Don't count on what seems to be a very lovely, but very confused girl for your happiness. (There are lots of lovely girls out there). You don't want to end up on the southern tip of the world lonely and sad. (trust me, from experience). One idea might be to take a trip down there for a couple weeks and feel things out (surprise her, even). See how serious she is before you pack your bags for good.

hawaii_red
Jul 15, 2012, 10:49 AM
Thanks for your reply.

Well I have always had the plan to go down there anyway for 6-12 months to master my Spanish, immerse myself in a new culture etc and just take some time away from the western world to challenge myself. I spent 6 weeks there last year

I would take a job whilst down there (I'm a teacher) and study once or twice a week at a school. This was my plan anyway - she just became an additional/more main reason to go.

She seems really happy that I'm still going and reiterated many times how we will see each other there and that she will help me with anything I need.

I just hope there is a future for us.

I can't stress how amazing our relationship was. We were both head over heels, she told me she won't be seeing anyone for the time it takes her to find herself and concentrate on herself (she's just graduated so she will be transitioning into a new job etc... ), but she just needs this time as she never really had a break from being in a relationship.
I actually understand this and agree with her; she does need time to be alone, and I know she won't be seeing anyone as she is really conservative and small town.

But she knows I am the one for her, she just said she can't take it right now...