Hey guys,

OK well I have been getting to know a lad for months and months (atleast 8) but I have known of him for just over 5 years now. I am 18 he is 21. In the last 8 months we have tex nearly everyday, nothing dirty just all flirty and stuf like how u? What you been up to? Friendly in a way! I have been told he likes me, and he always starts the texts of or starts the convos etc. (please note I have never ever seen him out of work alone, e.g never gone on a date or anything, if we go out its with usually around 10 others) he works in the shop full time, I am at uni so I work there part time, 2 nights a week, and on each I see him for 2 hours that's all. He is always really friendly in work and things. He asked me out at xmas but I wasn't ready, I am a MASSIVE thinker and I was worried that I didn't no him well enough etc etc, but he didn't leave me alone, I warned him then that it would only ever be mates, but he still started texting again, then he asked again in feb and I turned him down yet again but he still carried on, now I know him really well I have decided that something could work, and I think he has realised it this time because I am being more flirty, but I'm worried, I'm scared that he might want me for sex, or without being big headed... looks. I have all these thoughts going through my head, but I don't know why as we get on really well, he seems extremely interested and people say he really likes me and when I said no I really hurt him and things, and the fact he keeps coming bak suggests he does like me, but I keep thinking well what happens if it doesn't work or if we go out and then he chnages and becomes all nasty or abuses me. I think its clear how messed up my head is, as I do really like him and I think what I think is at the moment I have him but if we dated and it didn't work I would loose him, but I don't know hwy I'm having these irrational thoughts. Does it sound like from what I'm saying that he is really interested? Or could he just be after sex? But then the fact he's waited around for 8 months shows that maybe he does really like me? But then I think to myself well is it all an act to get me because anyone can be nice to someone they like can't they? Help me please, oh and by the way I have never been in a relationship before (if this isn't already obvious!) thanks

Date him. Go really slow. See him in a variety of situations. Date him some more if you like what you are learning about him. Still go slow. Meet his family and other friends. Date him some more. Still go slow. Learn more about him. Don't think much beyond the next week the entire time. If it goes somewhere, it will and if there is something wrong in the mix (like he only wants you for sex) it will show up or frustrate him too much going slow. This is why you want to know him well before becoming sexual wiith him. If he really has feelings for you, he'll honor going slow.

Did I say go slow enough? Don't micro-manage it either. One successful date makes another date happen, not a full fledge relationship. Many successful dates may eventually make a full fledge relationship happen but it builds slowly since people need time to learn to trust a little, risk a little, trust a little more, risk a little more. If you rush this, it's a guaranteed ruin. So date him and go slow!