I have been dating this guy for two years now, and we have been engaged for almost a year. I know that I love him and he loves me, but is marriage the right thing? We have moved in together due to money (I am normally not for living together before marriage, but his mother decided that if he could afford to buy me a ring, she would no longer give him any money for rent or food) she has mad the comments such as, "you are living with her now, so i don't need to give you food money because i know she has money for food so you can just eat hers." she also has to make sure that everyone know she has two cars, and is using our wedding in at a destination and major bragging point, when in reality, she is not giving us a dime for our wedding and my family is paying for it all. She tells her sisters that she is making sure that I get everything I want in my wedding so she is paying for it, and paying for our tickets, etc. She actually told my parents that they were supposed to pay for her families plane tickets, hotel, and food budget for their time in Hawaii (which she is turning into a vacation for her family and could care less about the wedding). She will make very offensive comments to me about how I came from a blessed family (that is not her wording) and how I don't deserve and my parents do not deserve what they have, and she does. My fiancé knows that she will be rude to me and that I get upset with all of her little things she does, like forge his name on his truck so she can sell it to buy a new car for herself. She won't even pay for his airplane ticket to the wedding! It is hard for me to keep paying for my fiancé because I work hard for my money, and I just have enough for myself. She just assumes my family will give me money and so she no longer needs to pay for anything of him because my family can pay for it. I find that offensive and I do not know how to handle it at all. We also went shopping once, me her and my mother, and we were looking at some clothes, I told her that I thought this shirt was pretty, her remark was oh I would need a smaller size than you. (I am a pretty petite girl). I ignored that and I found something for my mom *who is by far without a doubt the same size as her, possibly smaller in the back end area** the mother in law said, oh now I am way younger than your mom and way smaller than her." she said this in front of my mom and really hurt her feelings! She also wants to wear a dress to the wedding that looks like that black dress Angelinai Joiilee wore that is tight, black, strapless with a giant slit up the leg. I don't think that is appropriate for someone in her late 40s or early 50s to wear at a wedding. I don't want to start on a bad foot and confront her about this, but I don't want to have a mother in law that I don't get along with and is passive aggressive toward me the rest of my life. My fiancé did admit that he thinks she is going through a midlife crisis and that she would never mean bad by what she does and says to me. But I am really not comfortable with it.
My fiancé also has a little boy complex. Since we have moved in together, I notice ow much he will just lock himself up in the basement and play video games. I understand guys do that, but he will get up at say 8 in he morning and play until 6 at night, and sometimes he will stop for lunch but other times I find him downstairs not remembering to eat or drink anything all day. When I know that he is retaking a summer class to get a better grade and he won't even study for that! We watched a movie once and I noted that I did not like men with facial hair and I thought that he was much more handsome without. He decided to grow a full beard just because I didn't like facial hair. Things like that, I think are just so immature. But they all start to add up to annoy me. He also looks for anything I say that is wrong and will correct me and put me down in front of my family and friends. He can be a know it all. It makes me feel horrible. He also always talks about high school this and high school that. Like they were his glory years. Just because he was a big shot (which I don't even see that to be true) and now he just isn't at our college. But he will just complain about my high school and what I do. When I have done a lot in college and high school, I don't care about, that was 4 years ago. You shouldn't peak in high school.
What do I do with my future mother in law, and do you think he is ready for marriage? Also, I am afraid he has more qualities like his mother who I don't appreciate, than his father, who is such a wonderful man. I am sorry to those who just read my ramble, I needed it off my chest and I could use advise on what you think I should do to handle this. I could really used advise if anyone has had experience with dealing with in-laws and getting ready for marriage. Please help me out!