View Full Version : Do I approach my family about the sister I never knew I had?
Matthew Froggs
Jun 25, 2012, 09:40 AM
I recently found out that my parents had a baby girl before I was born. She died after only a few days of life.
I only discovered this by accident when I found her death certificate with some documents. I'm not sure if I should bring up the pain again and tell my parents that I know. I'm not even sure how to tell my brother or sister (I assume thy don't know either).
Is this thing best left alone or should I push further?
Wondergirl
Jun 25, 2012, 09:45 AM
Did she die at birth or as a child? That might determine if you want to cause your parents to revisit the pain of her loss. And will they be upset that you were snooping in their stuff?
Matthew Froggs
Jun 25, 2012, 05:38 PM
@wondergirl. She died two days after she was born. There were complcations with her birth. She never left the hospital.
They won't think I was snooping because the documents were amongst other birth certificates and passports. I only found it when looking for my own birth certificate
Wondergirl
Jun 25, 2012, 05:58 PM
Will they ask why you were looking for yours?
Matthew Froggs
Jun 25, 2012, 06:11 PM
They may be curious why I needed it (I was filling out a passport form). But they won't be mad that I went and got it. It's not considered a private area.
I think the documents were kept there because it was a place I had no reason to go to as a child. But as an adult they may not have considered to move it.
JudyKayTee
Jun 25, 2012, 06:17 PM
If they wanted to talk about the loss of their daughter, they would. I'd leave it alone.
I'm sure they have their reasons.
Matthew Froggs
Jun 25, 2012, 06:29 PM
@judyKayTee. I think you're right. The best reason I can think of as to why they never told me is because it was simply too emotional for them.
I'm glad to know she existed, but I won't bring further upset by approaching my parents about it. I may tell my brother and sister one day.
Thanks everyone for the advice.
Wondergirl
Jun 25, 2012, 06:45 PM
Just out of curiosity, how old are you?
Matthew Froggs
Jun 25, 2012, 07:30 PM
I'll be 22 in July