JANETDOE5
Jun 23, 2012, 09:42 PM
I asked this similar questions before, but I feel like I have to put as much detail in here as possible so that you can have the whole story and not just my side. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 2 years now. Last year, we had a rocky start to our relationship. We would fight all of the time. My boyfriend would get upset with me over the strangest things; he would say I didn't find him attractive and would accuse me of watching porn to satisfy myself; we went to the beach one day and he accused me of staring at some guy with his shirt off, which I didn't do. I mean, it's the beach. Everyone guy has their shirt off... I caught pneumonia at the time and was horribly sick. When I was in the ER, I texted him for support and he answered back "have fun checking out the doctors." While I was horribly sick, he made me feel guilty for not having sex with him and said "I'm going to find another girl to ." He broke up with me many, many times. During this hard time, my family and I went through a tough time financially. We needed money, and my boyfriend wasn't really there for me, so I couldn't really ask him. I can't remember if this happened at a point when he and I were "broken up" (because that was so often), but I borrowed money from a guy I used to date who offered to help. There was nothing going on between us, but my mother suggested I just ask him since we had no other choice. I didn't tell my boyfriend when we finally got back together or started talking again. Number one, he always had a problem with this guy I used to date and would always accuse me of continuing to talk to him. Second, I thought it was no big deal and if I mentioned it, he would get really upset with me and break up with me, yell at me, or something... Besides, when my boyfriend and I started talking again, I did everything for him to try to make things right - and our relationship really improved. I would get him gifts when he was upset; he didn't have a job at the time and I paid for everything. I took him out to dinner, I gave him spending money. Everything. Now, fast forward a year later he found the exchange of emails between that guy and me. The emails were about money. My boyfriend accused me of sleeping with him without even asking me. Since then, for the last month or two, he has spent everyday accusing me of cheating; talking to that guy behind his back. I NEVER slept with that guy or cheated on my boyfriend. Yes, I agree I should have told him about borrowing money.. but in my defense my boyfriend made it hard to tell the truth about things like that. I know I shouldn't have borrowed money with someone I used to sleep with, but in my defense I was in a really bad place and was about to be kicked out of my apartment. Then, one day he messaged that guy on Facebook, got his number, and called him to ask him questions. That guy said lies about us hanging out all the time, etc. Not true - I never would do that. I got SO upset with him for doing that. I said he went behind my back. I was offended that he believed the GUY and not ME, the woman he apparently loves. My boyfriend has been accusing me of meeting up with that guy for lunch, etc. Everyday after work, my boyfriend calls me and stays on the phone to make sure I go straight home without any "stops." During my lunch, if I don't answer he assumes I met up with that kid. When I don't answer my cell phone when I am at work, he calls my office number. This has created a great distance between us. I try and stay calm when he accuses me of things, but eventually I start screaming uncontrollably. He says I am being abusive and that he deserves better. We haven't been intimate very much recently. He brings this up in a nasty way, and I say perhaps you shouldn't have called that guy and believed him, then gave me hell about it. He justifies everything and says I am abusive. That I don't him. I don't know what to do. Please help.