My husband and I have a great relationship and have been together for 17 years. We have a 10 year old son who is great and very well behaved. We also have a 6 year old daughter who will not listen and we are all constantly fighting. My husband and I sometimes cringe to come home at night as we know its going to be a fight. Doesn't matter what it is we seem to butt heads with her on everything, eating, brushing teeth, actually everything. If she does not get what she wants she whines, cries and will sometimes hit. The funny thing is she is not like that with other people at all, they have no idea she is like that and think she is a well-behaved girl.

We have tried taking things away, time outs and I have given her a spanking once or twice. She comes back after calming down and will ask to get what she wanted in the first place. Wow she does not give up.

This has put a heavy strain on our marriage and I am worried that she will help to destroy it.

Help any info would be great

You are not taking thing ( enough things) away and keeping them away for days, make them earned, not a toy in the room, a bed with the sheets, and I may even argue the bed frame is gone to be earned back for older kids. How many days or weeks has she done without TV, or internet ? How many nights is she grounded to her room with nothing until she says she is sorry and stops the behavior that night.