There’s this guy I’ve known for about 2 years now. We are really good friends. He liked me when we first met and wanted to go out with me but I didn’t because we had just met and I didn’t really like him. I think he was really upset because of it. Then he started going out with this other girl and everything was fine for a while, but then he started flirting HEAPS with me again (while he was going out). By that time, I had gotten to know him and I easily fell for him, I mean really fell for him. He was still flirting heaps with me and I thought he would leave this other girl because he (apparently) liked me, but he didn’t leave her. I was just so hurt over the whole thing because I knew they did “stuff” together and it was just heartbreaking. I had a long talk to him about him flirting with me when he didn’t want to be with me etc and he said he was really sorry. I didn't talk to him much after that, even though I saw him at University and he always spoke to me about everything. It’s like he needs me in his life.

Anyway I got over him and I went out with this other guy who he really liked me. But we broke up after a few months. My original guy friend broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks after that too. He always kept complaining to me about her but it took him this long to break up with her. So finally we were both single. We started flirting again. We were closer than we ever were. We spent time at uni together, held hands/ hugged/ cuddled etc, but after a while he told me he doesn’t like me in that way, and he just wanted to be friends. I was heartbroken. I tried to distance myself and finally kind of got over him, but we were still really good friends so it was hard. We watched movies together and stuff. Gradually, before I even knew it, we were back to flirting again. We always just hugged lots and kissed a few times too. He goes out of his way to see me, just to hug me and stay with me.

I thought he is maybe changing, and that maybe he does like me, but just doesn’t want a relationship with me. I was fine with that. But he went out a few nights ago and made out with a few girls and took one of them home with him. Now I really don’t know what to think. I’m hurting so much, I just can’t stop crying. I think I really, really love him, and I think he feels something towards me too, but then why is he hurting me so much? Please help me. My mind tells me to completely forget about him because all he has given me is hurt and pain (even though when things were going well between us I was so happy), but my heart just won’t agree. The fact that we’re really good friends and talk about everything makes it so much harder to forget about him. What should I do?

He's using you, you're his safety net. He wants to be single, but he wants affection as well and you keep giving it to him. Stop contacting him, and move on properly.

He is hurting you because you are allowing and letting him do it. If you break all contact with him, stop talking to him, don't read his email, don't read his text and just leave him out of your life, then he can't hurt you again.

What are you doing? You can't have a friend you want to hold hands and cuddle with. Friends don't act like that. Friends don't cuddle and date. You have crossed the lines between friendship and romance and you better get back to the right side, and stop acting like a semi couple.

You have let this friend get to close, and take to many liberties, and benefits.