I am about to go out of my mind as I split up with my ex boyfriend in September 2010, it being my decision!! He was really not a nice guy at all, controlling, manipulative, mentally abusive, cheated, so argumentative and childish! Honestly everything that someone would just not want. It wasn't a long relationship but I don't know, I just adored him when that ridiculous moody side wasn’t there he was on the same page of things we wanted in life, he was funny and charming and I fell for him big time.

What I do not get though is I find myself still obsessing over him, checking his fb (even though I am not friends with him anymore), his girlfriend’s fb (they have been going out pretty much a month after we split its been friggin ages). He's moved back home so I wonder if I’m going to bump into him when I’m in the city, I ponder over all the places we went together restaurants etc. It's so so sad because I know we just never worked, but I just have such a sunken feeling in me since the day we split. I mean I wouldn't say I’m depressed and I have spoken to a counselor in the earlier stages when I couldn't cope. I am so bloody drained feeling like this or thinking about him at least once a day.

I really don't do commitment and I am still young, only 22, but I just do not see how I will ever get close to anyone again. It is driving me mental. I am honestly waiting for that day where I wake up and think I don't care anymore I actually do not care in the slightest. Surely to god I should be close to that, but like this week I’ve been have nightmares/dreams about him and her. In the dreams he was always horrible but this week I dreamt he was apologizing, and then next day I check his fb and he’s just put a lovely public status saying how his girlfriend has moved in with him.

It’s not that I am jealous of her even, because although she is probably a lovely girl she probably puts up with the same crap I did, but then I think what if he has changed?? I just can't get into my head how I was the one put through so much crap from him, yet I am still single and he's loving it up with his now long term girlfriend it seems so unfair. I am just so so fussy when it comes to guys. I am a good looking funny girl (not meaning that bigheaded). I get chatted up and asked out quite a lot but I’m just like no thanks. I am a woman deranged here folks. When will this penny drop that makes me realize I DO NOT want to be with my ex, and get rid of this stupid feeling at the pit of my stomach!

Major rant but god I feel better having said all that xxx

The only person putting you through all this unnecessary mess is you. Why on earth are you sitting around moping about it for? Why are you checking his Facebook and his girlfriends Facebook. Have you no self control?

You're still not over him because you're still sitting around wondering what life would be like if you had him back. You've taken the last two years of your life and thrown them in the garbage.

Get off your butt and do something with yourself. Stop trying to stay in touch with him, checking his Facebook is doing just that. Go enjoy the things life has to offer, keep that mind busy. You will move on and love again, you've got to get that head out of the past. And back on to the present and future.

Thank you for the brutal honesty :) needed it xx

At two years, this is excessive you should really consider professional mental health counseling. If you need to, stop using Facebook, have a pofessional block it from your computer if you neeed to.

Right it's not like I'm constantly on his or hers Facebook, and I am not sad in life, I'm actually really happy just this one thing annoys me I know girls who still look at their ex boyfriends Facebook and vice versa I think out of curiosity until I meet someone new that's what you do, mental professional help is a bit extreme I think, I loved the guy and haven't seen him since the day we split, and having put this post I've thought to myself my god I am living in the past.
Ive had a really complicated upbringing resulting in my parents not being in my life, so I think my upset for so long was my life starting and having his family substitute this as we got on really well.