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Homegirl 50
Jun 26, 2012, 05:32 PM
We all do. You will be OK. This is life.

noko2149
Jun 26, 2012, 05:33 PM
We all do. You will be OK. This is life.

Do you think she got in trouble with her phone?

Homegirl 50
Jun 26, 2012, 05:43 PM
She may have if they knew she was talking to you.
You two need to chill until all of this mess is settled.

noko2149
Jun 26, 2012, 06:37 PM
She may have if they knew she was talking to you.
You two need to chill until all of this mess is settled.

I will just hard

noko2149
Jun 26, 2012, 06:49 PM
U know?

Homegirl 50
Jun 26, 2012, 07:23 PM
I would imagine this is hard. I have been praying for you.
I wish you well.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 06:42 AM
I would imagine this is hard. I have been praying for you.
I wish you well.

I know, I've been trying everyday to keep myself busy and everything

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 06:44 AM
I think you are doing OK.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 06:51 AM
I think you are doing OK.

I'm trying to keep it up

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:00 AM
I'm cheering for you.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:02 AM
I'm cheering for you.

Thank u.. Just hope that all of this ends well..

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:06 AM
That's my hope as well.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:08 AM
Should I be really nervous right now?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:49 AM
I don't know. I don't know the whole situation. But I think as long as everyone is honest things will work out

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:50 AM
I told you everything that has been going on though..

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:51 AM
As long as everyone is honest, things will work out.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 09:05 AM
As long as everyone is honest, things will work out.

Another sheriff came today to give me papers... This is just too much... My friend and her were talking and she had just woke up and she was saying how she's not OK and wish none of this was happening... And she was saying that she loves me and everything but she said what happened happened.. (she was referring to the court situation)

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 11:06 AM
Another sheriff came today to give me papers... This is just too much... My friend and her were talking and she had just woke up and she was saying how she's not OK and wish none of this was happening... And she was saying that she loves me and everything but she said what happened happened.. (she was referring to the court situation)

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 12:55 PM
You there?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 01:07 PM
So she is saying that you hit her?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 01:08 PM
The lady said that I had hit her on that day

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 01:15 PM
So your girl friend is saying that you did hit the lady? Is this true?

I thought you said he filed the suit because you hit your girl friend.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 01:17 PM
So your girl friend is saying that you did hit the lady? Is this true?

I thought you said he filed the suit because you hit your girl friend.

... no... The lady told my dad that I hit my girl...

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 01:25 PM
You are confusing me. So is your girl friend going to testify that you hit her?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 01:30 PM
You are confusing me. So is your girl friend going to testify that you hit her?

How? I said the lady From the court place told my dad that I hit her when I really didn't.

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 01:32 PM
So is your girl friend going to testify that you didn't hit her?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 01:51 PM
So is your girl friend going to testify that you didn't hit her?

Yeah. This is all ridiculous and not worth it.. It's too much

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 01:53 PM
Well as long as she tells the truth it should work out fine.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 01:55 PM
But it's just the fact that her family would take this out of perportion.. It's not needed

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 01:57 PM
What made them think you hit her? Was she bruised or something? Was the police called?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 02:08 PM
What made them think you hit her? was she bruised or something? Was the police called?

She's not even bruised so I don't know what they're talking about

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 02:21 PM
It sounds like they have no case. If your daughters tells the truth that you never touched her, you should be fine

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 02:24 PM
It sounds like they have no case. If your daughters tells the truth that you never touched her, you should be fine

Don't you agree that this is a little bit too much and over doing?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 02:33 PM
I've told you before this relationship is just full of drama.
I don't know these people but this seems to be way over the top.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 02:55 PM
I've told you before this relationship is just full of drama.
I don't know these people but this seems to be way over the top.

I'm talking about the family just because they don't like me. There's no drama with me and her

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 03:13 PM
Yeah, this is pretty ridiculous

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 03:40 PM
Do u think that it could've been handled much better?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 03:41 PM
If the whole thing never happened it should not have come to this.
What made them think you hit her?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:01 PM
If the whole thing never happened it should not have come to this.
What made them think you hit her?

Because the aunt was saying I did and that she had bruises from me

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:03 PM
Did your girl friend say it was not true? Where did the bruises come from. Was the police called, pictures taken?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:05 PM
did your girl friend say it was not true? Where did the bruises come from. Was the police called, pictures taken?


No pics was taken and I don't know what she has said. The lady from the court didn't tell us that and I know she didn't have bruises

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:08 PM
No pics was taken and I don't know what she has said. The lady from the court didn't tell us that and I know she didn't have bruises

So you don't know if your girl friend defended you or not.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:15 PM
So you don't know if your girl friend defended you or not.


I know she would. That wouldn't make sense if she didn't

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:28 PM
I know she would. That wouldn't make sense if she didnt
With no pictures taken, I'm just wondering how the charge could have been brought against you without her saying so.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:33 PM
With no pictures taken, I'm just wondering how the charge could have been brought against you without her saying so.

You think it was her?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:35 PM
I don't know how else they could have brought the charge against you. She had to have said you did it. But even if she had no marks or bruises, I don't know how they could have a case.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:36 PM
I don't know how else they could have brought the charge against you. She had to have said you did it. But even if she had no marks or bruises, I don't know how they could have a case.

Why would she do that then

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:38 PM
Another sheriff came today to give me papers... This is just too much... My friend and her were talking and she had just woke up and she was saying how she's not ok and wish none of this was happening... And she was saying that she loves me and everything but she said what happened happened..(she was referring to the court situation)

This leads me to believe that she said you hit her.

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:41 PM
I don't know. Maybe they are forcing her to. I just don't know. Hopefully all of this will come out in court.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:43 PM
I don't know. Maybe they are forcing her to. I just don't know. Hopefully all of this will come out in court.

I know it will.. This is just a bunch of bs

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 04:46 PM
I agree. I hope your girl friend will be honest

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 04:53 PM
I agree. I hope your girl friend will be honest

I think she would

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 05:03 PM
Let me know how things go

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 05:24 PM
I will.. how come when she talked to my friend, that she didn't tell her to tell me that she loves me?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 05:40 PM
I don't know. Maybe because you guys are supposed to be being careful.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 05:44 PM
I don't know. Maybe because you guys are supposed to be being careful.


Your right.. My nerves have been bad lately

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 05:46 PM
I can understand that

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 06:10 PM
I can understand that

I don't know what to do..

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 06:14 PM
You don't do anything. Just wait until your go to the hearing. I'm assuming your parents are going with you. Have you talked to them about this?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 06:15 PM
You don't do anything. Just wait until your go to the hearing. I'm assuming your parents are going with you. Have you talked to them about this?

Yes I have..

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 06:21 PM
What do they say about this?

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 06:45 PM
What do they say about this?

They think it's a waste of time and bs

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 06:52 PM
Yeah is is silly. Maybe this will be nothing and it will get dismissed.
But I do think you need to find out if your girl friend told them you hit her.

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:19 PM
Yeah is is silly. Maybe this will be nothing and it will get dismissed.
But I do think you need to find out if your girl friend told them you hit her.

What if she did

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:26 PM
Don't you want to know why? If she is so controlled or weak that she would lie about you like that, do you want the possibility of going through something like this again? Assault is a serious charge. You don't want something like that on your record

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:28 PM
Don't you want to know why? If she is so controlled or weak that she would lie about you like that, do you want the possibility of going through something like this again? Assault is a serious charge. You don't want something like that on your record


That's what I think Is going on. They've poisoned her mind so much.. And I know I don't want that on my perminant record.. The dad and aunt does not even have proof

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:34 PM
That's what I think Is going on. They've poisoned her mind so much.. And I know I don't want that on my perminant record.. The dad and aunt does not even have proof
If they can control her once they can do it again
Do you want to always be worried about what will happen next?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:36 PM
That's what I think Is going on. They've poisoned her mind so much.. And I know I don't want that on my perminant record.. The dad and aunt does not even have proof
They have her word if she lies

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:37 PM
They have her word if she lies

What do you mean.

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:42 PM
What do you mean.?

They don't have physical proof but if she lies, it's her word against yours

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:43 PM
They don't have physical proof but if she lies, it's her word against yours

Don't you think she had to lie because of her parents?

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:46 PM
That is an awful big lie.That could be serious trouble for you
Let's hope she tells the truth.

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 07:48 PM
Don't you think she had to lie because of her parents?

You don't need to be with someone who could get you in that kind of trouble

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 07:51 PM
You don't need to be with someone who could get you in that kind of trouble

She's not getting me in trouble. She said herself that she wish nothing happened and that she don't like it at all

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 08:02 PM
She's not getting me in trouble. She said herself that she wish nothing happened and that she dont like it at all

She may not like it, but if she lies, you are in trouble. I hope she tells the truth

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 08:05 PM
She may not like it, but if she lies, you are in trouble. I hope she tells the truth

I think she will

Homegirl 50
Jun 27, 2012, 08:08 PM
I think she will
I hope so. It's late here. We'll talk tomorrow

noko2149
Jun 27, 2012, 08:09 PM
I hope so. It's late here. We'll talk tomorrow

Ok have a good night

Alty
Jun 27, 2012, 09:15 PM
I'm getting a tingle about all of this.

The way you're writing, I have to ask, and being honest is really the best thing for you. Did you hit her?

You keep saying that there couldn't have been bruises. That doesn't mean that you didn't hit her.

You seem very controlling, won't leave her alone.

I've been in a relationship like that. A guy that was controlling, did beat me, and then put it all on me.

So, did you hit her, because I really can't see all of this happening if there wasn't something to it all.

Also, you said this was the second set of charges they had against you. What was the first charge for?

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 12:16 AM
I'm getting a tingle about all of this.

The way you're writing, I have to ask, and being honest is really the best thing for you. Did you hit her?

You keep saying that there couldn't have been bruises. That doesn't mean that you didn't hit her.

You seem very controlling, won't leave her alone.

I've been in a relationship like that. A guy that was controlling, did beat me, and then put it all on me.

So, did you hit her, because I really can't see all of this happening if there wasn't something to it all.

Also, you said this was the second set of charges they had against you. What was the first charge for?

I'm not controlling, I didn't hit her and I wouldn't lie about hitting her because I didn't.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 11:03 AM
I feel lost and confused homegirl 50

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 11:06 AM
I would imagine this is confusing. There is nothing you can do until after this is done. Talk to your parents, ask for advice. They know you better than we do.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 11:09 AM
I would imagine this is confusing. There is nothing you can do until after this is done. Talk to your parents, ask for advice. They know you better than we do.

They are waiting to get in touch with their lawyers

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 12:25 PM
That is wise. If all of this is a lie, it may not even make it to court.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 12:45 PM
That is wise. If all of this is a lie, it may not even make it to court.

I know.. None of this was needed...

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 12:46 PM
When is the court date

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 12:47 PM
When is the court date

July 9 and 11

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 12:48 PM
Well your parents have an attorney and there isn't anything you can do until then.
I hope things work out for you.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 12:53 PM
I hope they dismiss it though.

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 12:55 PM
Yep, that would be good.
If they do, I hope you rethink your relationship with your girl friend. You don't want this mess to happen again

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 01:12 PM
Yep, that would be good.
If they do, I hope you rethink your relationship with your girl friend. You don't want this mess to happen again

What do u mean rethink my relationship with her

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 01:26 PM
Ask yourself it it is wise to stay with her. What will stop this mess from happening again?
What if her family tries something else and she goes along with them?

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 03:08 PM
Ask yourself it it is wise to stay with her. What will stop this mess from happening again?
What if her family tries something else and she goes along with them?

She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 03:17 PM
She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday.... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

She told your father you hit her didn't she?

Alty
Jun 28, 2012, 03:28 PM
She told your father you hit her didn't she?

That's my guess, and if she did, then you have to wonder if it's a lie, or if she's just too afraid of the OP to tell him she's done with their relationship.

We can only go by what the OP has written. I'm sure we'd get a far different story if the OP's girlfriend posted here.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 03:32 PM
Homegirl50...
She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 05:34 PM
Homegirl50...
She won't. She is better than that.. But I saw one of my friends at the beach and my friends was talking about how she sees my girlfriend her brother and her mom almost everyday... And I don't know what to think because she told me she was in hell in stuff.. But I don't know if her mom made her go with them or what..

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 05:42 PM
I can't imagine why she would say such a thing and why you still have so much faith in her.
No matter what happens, I think you really need to rethink your relationship with her. It may be time to let her go. At the beginning in your original post she was letting you go. I think you need to leave her alone.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 05:45 PM
I can't imagine why she would say such a thing and why you still have so much faith in her.
No matter what happens, I think you really need to rethink your relationship with her. It may be time to let her go. At the beginning in your original post she was letting you go. I think you need to leave her alone.

What do you mean you don't know why she would say such a thing? And I never said she was letting me go.. She's not even done with me.. I guess time is just hard right now.. And why leave her alone if I haven't contacted her?

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 05:49 PM
Then today my girlfriend calls me and i told her what was on my mind and she said that she can't do this anymore and i asked her if she loved me and she said yes and thats why i have to let you go, if you love someone, then you have to let them go sometimes.. then i told her to not let people influence her wrong decisions and getting into her head.. and thats what i think is happening because her family is trying to not let her want me anymore, and i think its wrong.. I know she still wants me.. But i don't know why she asked me what i would do if she found someone else??.. i ask her why would you say that and she said she just asking and that she doesn't have anyone else..
This is from your original post. She initially was going to let you go. Did she know about the court case then?

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 05:51 PM
This girl and her family are trouble for you if you did not hit her and I don't know why you would want to stay with her after all of this. If you did not hit her, this is her doing. Why would you want all this drama?

Alty
Jun 28, 2012, 05:52 PM
What do you mean you don't know why she would say such a thing? And I never said she was letting me go.. She's not even done with me.. I guess time is just hard right now.. And why leave her alone if I haven't contacted her?

She's taking you to court! It's scheduled. Apparently this isn't the first charge!

The fact that you won't leave her alone is a huge concern! Let this girl go, let her live her life without you trying to control everything!

I don't believe for one second, based on your posts, that you're as innocent as you claim to be.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 05:54 PM
Then today my girlfriend calls me and i told her what was on my mind and she said that she can't do this anymore and i asked her if she loved me and she said yes and thats why i have to let you go, if you love someone, then you have to let them go sometimes.. then i told her to not let people influence her wrong decisions and getting into her head.. and thats what i think is happening because her family is trying to not let her want me anymore, and i think its wrong.. I know she still wants me.. But i don't know why she asked me what i would do if she found someone else??.. i ask her why would you say that and she said she just asking and that she doesn't have anyone else..
This is from your original post. She initially was going to let you go. Did she know about the court case then?

No...

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 06:17 PM
No...
She had to have known.
What was the first charge of assault about?

Alty
Jun 28, 2012, 06:39 PM
I have a suggestion, more for Homegirl than the OP. Homegirl, you are a blessing, and your patience and understanding are much more than I could ever hope for.

I do urge you to read the thread from the beginning, and I hope that you realize that you're only getting the OP's side of the story. I know you already realize that. I just don't want you to invest too much time in a story that's one sided.

My main issue is this. If the OP's girlfriend didn't admit that she was abused by the OP, there would be nothing to take to trial. So either she's lying (this isn't the first charge against the OP), or the OP is lying.

If I had to bet, I'd bet against the OP. I've also been the victim of abuse in a dating situation. The OP sounds very much like my ex. Possessive, won't let go, won't admit to any wrong doing on his part. He may very well not even realize that his version of love is actually abuse.

Just my opinion. I'm not saying that the OP actually abused his girlfriend, it's very possible that he's telling the truth. But it also possible that he's telling the truth as he sees it, and most abusers don't realize that they're abusive.

Homegirl 50
Jun 28, 2012, 06:52 PM
I appreciate your concern and I also understand what you are saying. It would be nice if I had both sides of the story.
I hope this young man is innocent but I also want to get him to see that this relationship as it has been presented is toxic and needs to end.

Alty
Jun 28, 2012, 07:05 PM
I appreciate your concern and I also understand what you are saying. It would be nice if I had both sides of the story.
I hope this young man is innocent but I also want to get him to see that this relationship as it has been presented is toxic and needs to end.

I agree 110%! Innocent or guilty, this relationship isn't in the best interest of either party.

noko2149
Jun 28, 2012, 07:08 PM
I appreciate your concern and I also understand what you are saying. It would be nice if I had both sides of the story.
I hope this young man is innocent but I also want to get him to see that this relationship as it has been presented is toxic and needs to end.

I'm not lien and I'm not abusive. I have nothing to lie about.. I'm telling homegirl50 about what happens everyday.. Thanks

noko2149
Jun 29, 2012, 12:38 PM
My girlfriend called me

Alty
Jun 29, 2012, 02:39 PM
I'm not lien and I'm not abusive. I have nothing to lie about.. I'm telling homegirl50 about what happens everyday.. Thanks

That's fine, but this is a public site, and anyone can post on this thread and offer their opinion. You don't have to read the advice posted, but we have every right to post it. Just so you know.

noko2149
Jun 29, 2012, 02:45 PM
That's fine, but this is a public site, and anyone can post on this thread and offer their opinion. You don't have to read the advice posted, but we have every right to post it. Just so you know.

Ok but I'm talking to homegirl50... And she's helping me

Alty
Jun 29, 2012, 02:46 PM
Ok but I'm talking to homegirl50... And she's helping me

Like I said, that's fine, but this isn't a chat site, this is a Q & A site. Anyone on this site has the right to answer your question, and frankly, you've already gotten the best advice anyone can give you. Now you seem to be using this site as some sort of twitter or blog account. That's not what this site is for.

noko2149
Jun 29, 2012, 02:59 PM
Like I said, that's fine, but this isn't a chat site, this is a Q & A site. Anyone on this site has the right to answer your question, and frankly, you've already gotten the best advice anyone can give you. Now you seem to be using this site as some sort of twitter or blog account. That's not what this site is for.

Not true

Alty
Jun 29, 2012, 03:04 PM
Not true

What's not true? You post "My girlfriend called". That's not a question, that's chatting, and not what this site is about, at least not in this forum.

You also don't seem to want anyone else to post here, which is also not what this site is about.

So what's not true?

noko2149
Jun 29, 2012, 03:10 PM
What's not true? You post "My girlfriend called". That's not a question, that's chatting, and not what this site is about, at least not in this forum.

You also don't seem to want anyone else to post here, which is also not what this site is about.

So what's not true?

I don't know why your trying to start things up here, which I find very childish on your part.. Your not helping.. Your trying to pick an argument.. I'm not acting like this is a chat room.. Homegirl50 tells me and wants me to her advice when I need help on something or want to talk about something. So I really am not in the mood for you to try and start things. Thanks have a good one.

Homegirl 50
Jun 29, 2012, 04:08 PM
You need to show respect to all the experts here. We are here to help. You can't pick who to talk to.
There are many pages to your question and I have given you what I feel is good advice.
We cannot chat every day, with your asking the same question.
Get yourself prepared for you trial and if I were you, I'd leave your girl friend alone. Her sneaking and talking to you is not helpful.

Alty
Jun 29, 2012, 08:04 PM
You need to show respect to all the experts here. We are here to help. You can't pick and choose who to talk to.
There are many pages to your question and I have given you what I feel is good advice.
We cannot chat every day, with your asking the same question.
Get yourself prepared for you trial and if I were you, I'd leave your girl friend alone. Her sneaking and talking to you is not helpful.

Exactly. I don't know how many times you've said "this is not a good relationship, you should leave her alone", and yet this thread still continues.

I understand that the OP is upset, but he's gotten the best advice he can get from you, and refuses to listen, or accept it.

I don't know what else anyone can do for him. It's up to him now. He has a court date coming up, and it may very well be that he won't be given a choice but to forget this girl. Personally, I think that would be the best thing for all involved.