cloudatlas
Jun 11, 2012, 11:24 PM
We're both going into our second year of college, been dating for almost three years. The strange thing is, I never even noticed this behavior before we went into college and became long-distance. Before we went to college he was always very attentive, very loving, made me feel like the only girl in the world.
Last fall though, he started going to these college parties with his buddies and getting drunk (I dislike parties and don't really like drinking), and he would text me in the morning saying things like: "Saw a girl with the sexiest legs." "There was a super-hot girl at the party, didn't bone her though because of you." I guess he's still kind of drunk when he texts me these things (which already makes me insecure, because I know his friends have one-night stands and hookups with random girls). I don't know. And then when I would go to visit him at his college, he would act like I was the only girl in the world again, not even looking at another girl, telling me I'm beautiful, so that I would get really confused.
Recently, though, in the two weeks we were with each other before we both went off again for our respective internships, I felt really insecure all the time because of his behavior. The thing is, there was a fire in my house when I was in middle school and one side of my face has this moderate-sized burn mark, nothing too gross, it just looks like a bruise by now. The burn mark is on the right side of my face, and I noticed recently (and he didn't do this before) that he refuses to walk or sit on the right side of me. When we sat down at a restaurant he would kind of casually make me move over so he was on my left side in a way that made me feel really self-conscious.
Later he told me that he's perfectly happy in our relationship but he still fantasizes about having sex with pretty much every attractive girl that he sees, which I guess is fine (although, why did he have to tell me that when he already knows I'm feeling insecure with the LDR and the burn mark?) but then whenever he would see a girl in a short skirt or a dress I can feel him looking at her then looking back at me, like he's sizing me up to see how I compare. Once, he even asked me, "Why don't you wear miniskirts like that?" while staring at the girl's legs, when he knows that I'm self-conscious about my legs, and when I jokingly said, "Would that turn you on?" He just kept on staring at the girl's legs and said, "Hell yeah," which I pretended to laugh about but it actually upset me.
Am I being unfair/overly sensitive about this? Sometimes I wonder if it isn't just my insecurity coming out in the form of jealousy, but other times I feel like he's being disrespectful and insensitive. I know that all guys look (I look at other guys sometimes too) but I kind of feel like this is crossing the line. What should I do?
Last fall though, he started going to these college parties with his buddies and getting drunk (I dislike parties and don't really like drinking), and he would text me in the morning saying things like: "Saw a girl with the sexiest legs." "There was a super-hot girl at the party, didn't bone her though because of you." I guess he's still kind of drunk when he texts me these things (which already makes me insecure, because I know his friends have one-night stands and hookups with random girls). I don't know. And then when I would go to visit him at his college, he would act like I was the only girl in the world again, not even looking at another girl, telling me I'm beautiful, so that I would get really confused.
Recently, though, in the two weeks we were with each other before we both went off again for our respective internships, I felt really insecure all the time because of his behavior. The thing is, there was a fire in my house when I was in middle school and one side of my face has this moderate-sized burn mark, nothing too gross, it just looks like a bruise by now. The burn mark is on the right side of my face, and I noticed recently (and he didn't do this before) that he refuses to walk or sit on the right side of me. When we sat down at a restaurant he would kind of casually make me move over so he was on my left side in a way that made me feel really self-conscious.
Later he told me that he's perfectly happy in our relationship but he still fantasizes about having sex with pretty much every attractive girl that he sees, which I guess is fine (although, why did he have to tell me that when he already knows I'm feeling insecure with the LDR and the burn mark?) but then whenever he would see a girl in a short skirt or a dress I can feel him looking at her then looking back at me, like he's sizing me up to see how I compare. Once, he even asked me, "Why don't you wear miniskirts like that?" while staring at the girl's legs, when he knows that I'm self-conscious about my legs, and when I jokingly said, "Would that turn you on?" He just kept on staring at the girl's legs and said, "Hell yeah," which I pretended to laugh about but it actually upset me.
Am I being unfair/overly sensitive about this? Sometimes I wonder if it isn't just my insecurity coming out in the form of jealousy, but other times I feel like he's being disrespectful and insensitive. I know that all guys look (I look at other guys sometimes too) but I kind of feel like this is crossing the line. What should I do?