I have been single for quite a while and then all of a sudden I met a friend who I was at school with which was over 5 years ago for names sake I will call him John, well we became friends and then one day out of the blue he asked me out, we get on really well as friends and was a bit shocked when he asked me out on a date, well I agreed and we're going out this weekend for a quiet drink. My problem is that he is in the navy and he only comes home on the weekends we talk or text every day, but the problem gets worse, I work in a pub and this is where john comes home he comes to the pub on the weekend,

There is also another bloke who I have thought has been kind of cute for a few months but he was in another relationship so I thought I would never have a chance. Well the other week he asked me out, I thought this was a joke as I thought he was still with his girlfriend but aparantly they had broken up, I agreed to go out with him but was under the impression that he was joking. When I realised that he was serious this is where things become a bit strange. By some strange reason I had agreed to go out on a date with both guys. The guy from the pub who had a girlfriend I will call Dave.

Who should I choose

Keep your options open and get to know them both at this stage.
You don't need to rush things, take things SLOW and try to get to know them very well, and then you can choose.

I know both of these lads (john and Dave) pretty well, the thing that I don't want to do is turn both of them away. John is a really great guy but I feel that he is quite insecure he even said to me that if I wasn't interested in starting anything with him then he doesn't think that he could still be friends as he likes me so much. On the other hand Dave is the kind of guy that really makes me laugh and is the right type of age that I would go for in a guy, but the downside to Dave is that he has 2 kids, I know that they don't live with him, I have had enough with kids and I don't want to have another relationship with anyone who has kids. I don't want them but hey that's just me.

If I could mix them both up I'd have the perfect guy ha ha ha.

Well how long has Dave broken up from his girlfriend?

Dave and his ex girlfriend have split up for 1 month.

Well go out with John then... I don't think a guy who runs from relationship to relationship is a good choice.

...the downside to Dave is that he has 2 kids...

...i don't want to have another relationship with anyone who has kids....


Sounds to me as though you have an easy decision. If you don't want a relationship with someone who has kids, why waste your time dating someone who does?

I agree with going with John, I think it's too soon for Dave, whether he thinks so or not.

I vote for John, have fun and get to know each other but keep your options open for now and see how it works. Forget Dave, too much downside, but you never know who will come along now do you? Stay single and have the fun single people do.

Definitely John.. if you look all over this site a guy with two kids only 1 month fresh removed from a relationship is not enough time for the healing process

I would say go for John and get to know him better but keep Dave at friend's length because you did say Dave makes you laugh and it doesn't hurt to have friends that keep things light and make things less stressful for you

Don't choose yet, but I would say John right now and Dave for a friend

Thanks to all, I thought that I would get on well with John better than Dave but after we had a date last weekend we got on so well I had sore cheeks from laughing so much from being with him. But I suppose that I should give John the benefit of the doubt as I haven't been on a date with him in about 5 years and even then we were in school so you can't really call them dates. Lol

I now have another dilema that John has somehow found out that I went out for a drink with Dave and now he is very upset that he thinks that I'm seeing Dave... I'm not and have made it very clear to Dave that we are just friends and that our drink was just as friends and nothing more. I don't want to upset any of these blokes because I think they are both amazing. If they could merge into one then that would be best all around.

All due respect as a young single and free person, you can do whatever you please, whenever you please, with whomever you please, and its nobody's business but yours. It is offensive to get jealous after a few dates and that is highly presumptuous. Straighten them out now or they will be worse later.

Omg you have the same problem I have. Its so hard to choose isn't it especially if you like them both. But I think that you should go with the one that makes you the most happiest and makes you laugh becoz all girls deserve to be happy and you said that Dave makes you laugh so you should be with someone that does that. Yet I no you probably don't want to break Johns heart so maybe you shouldn't go out with either of them unless you are willing to put one of them through a lot of pain and suffering. But I personally think you shouldn't go out with either of them and look for someone like the both of them in one. You probably be happier with someone that makes you happy and laugh. So don't settle for second best, get the one that you feel comfortable with the most or look for another guy!!