I'm asking about us, my boyfriend and I... I unfortunately in the past have had the habit of drinking too much and doing stupid things when going out with friends. When we were seeing each other we went to a bar and I ran into an old friend... when my now boyfriend wanted to leave I decided I wanted to stay behind and catch up, which ended badly because I went home with my old friend... two days later my now boyfriend asked about that night and I told him what happened. Now on march 17th 2012 between the hours of 7 pm carried on until 6 am march 18th 2012... there are parts of the night where I don't remember and I've been obsessing over this night since the next day during the afternoon only I remembered most and couldn't see myself having done anything... I've spoken to so many people that were there and my boyfriend, all say I didn't do anything wrong or unfaithful but for some reason I'm still obsessing over it... I feel like I had a mini flashback but I can't see much and before then I was picturing myself doing something but the scenario changed so much that I can't trust anything... I know you said you can't offer anymore free readings but I just need this one question answered I'm so sorry to even ask you to do something like that but I'm in such a rough place right now... because I just moved in with my boyfriend Conrad (the one who I am talking about) he's perfect to me in every way and I trust him but am scared that if I did anything he'll never forgive me because he already has over-come so many difficult hurdles with me and any other guy would have gone running... Anyway... I live with him now and I can't find a job so I'm literally flat broke... I'm so scared... I've been asking for signs and I don't know whether to trust anything because in the beginning most pointed me not having done anything other times they're pointed to me doing something and now I've been basing it one whether I get the "job" or not kind of thing... Please help... I realize how crazy I sound but he's important to me and I don't want to ruin this with my doubts or paranoia's... I would never do anything to hurt him or be unfaithful to him. I love him so much and although when I am sober I would never, From the past I get scared I'll have a repeat mistake while drunk... I've talked to so many people including him that were there that night and I've paid to speak with psychics, one strictly for this reason, another I e-mailed after a reading him and I had together after the night I'm referring to, and she ended up saying she didn't feel I did anything wrong... I've emailed others and one said the same thing, others requested a fee and to be honest since I can't find a job I'm flat broke and I can't pay anyone... but I need help and need it now. I don't want to ruin this. He's so fantastic and I sound insane because I've been quarreling with myself over this for months now. It's ridiculous. I don't want to have done something and just be in denial but I don't want to have not done something and believe I did something because I can't remember. I remember being frustrated with him because he kept tossing smokes I had bummed away and so I went back inside and danced with a "little person" which sounds rude and immature because of that... but when my boyfriend came in I remember going up to him right away and I don't remember being very angry anymore... I don't honestly believe I could have been that frustrated with him over some smokes and I know we had had a fun night... someone please help me. My d.o.b. is 03/18/90 and his... my initials are j.l.f if that helps...