Log in

View Full Version : Unmarried Parents- California


UndefinedLoyal
Jun 1, 2012, 11:26 PM
Hi!
I told my boyfriend that if he did not start getting his stuff together, I will kick him out. We have a baby, 11 months old, and he told me that if I left him- he would take him with him when he goes. He has NO stable place to stay, His father has NEVER met our child, and I don't want him to because of his anger issues. My boyfriend would more than likely go there- but he has no crib for him, no food, no nothing. My family paid for everything for him.
Can he legally take him? His name is on the birth certificate, but our son has been living with us in the same house since he was born. Wouldn't taking him from the place he feels safe and secure cause emotional damage? His father is hardly around (He currently has a job) and when he is he pays NO attention to him whatsoever. I do the feeding, diapers, play time, baths, put him to bed, get up with him every morning, every thing. His father stays up till 6am looking at pictures/games on his phone, watching TV, or playing video games, and NEVER wakes up when our son cries. He has severe anger issues, and when he is angry he drives WAY too fast, he has almost gotten us into 5 accidents.
His jobs never lasted more than 3 months. He lost one for disappearing for hours at a time at work, and another for taking vicodin.

What do I need to do to ensure the safety of my son? His father is not mentally capable of taking care of him, whenever I have asked him to watch him, he just sits there. He will let him cry until I come in- then he gets him, acting like he was going to do it before. I asked him to get our son away from the curtains (my hands were full) because he was pulling them down- and he just sat there.

I have tried talking to him (it has been almost 2 years of talking) and I constantly have to remind him to bathe, pick up after himself, etc.
He keeps telling me he will change, does for a week, then goes back to the same old crap.

Main question is; Can he legally take him if I kick him out?

AK lawyer
Jun 2, 2012, 05:21 AM
... Can he legally take him?
...
Main question is; Can he legally take him if I kick him out?

He sure can. The child is as much his as he is yours.

What do you mean "kick him out"? Ask him to leave? You do realize that he could simply refuse to go, right?


...His father is not mentally capable of taking care of him, whenever I have asked him to watch him, he just sits there. He will let him cry until I come in- then he gets him, acting like he was going to do it before. I asked him to get our son away from the curtains (my hands were full) because he was pulling them down- and he just sat there. ...

You are trying to make it sound like your child's father is some sort of mental defective. If so, why did you decide to have sex with him?

When your child's father didn't jump when you told him to jump, did the World end? Did your child get injured? Did the curtains get pulled down? It appears that you are an obsessive/compulsive personality and are frustrated because your child's father is more laid back. I suggest that you re-think your attitude.

ScottGem
Jun 2, 2012, 05:59 AM
As noted he is the father and has equal rights. Also, do you own where you live? Are you on the lease and not him? You just can't "kick someone out".

But if you decide to end your relationship, then you do so and never let him alone with your son. He can't just walk out with your son, call the police if he tries. But if he is alone with him, he can take him to where he will now be living and possession is 9/10ths of the law here.

You would need to go to court and establish yourself as the primary physical custodial parent to prevent him from taking your child.

Fr_Chuck
Jun 2, 2012, 06:14 AM
First you can not just "kick" him out, if the place you are staying are in both names, he does not even have to go. If the place is in just your name, you would have to give him notice and evict him.

Next yes he as as much right to take the child as you do, the child belongs to both you and the father. Being a little rude when you sleep with them, is when you need to consider what type of father they will be.

Once you separate, you file for custody of the child, he can of course ask for joint or shared custody