Okay so Basically this is how it worked out I met a girl in high school who I started dating, we did everything together and saw each other almost everyday, we had a lot of little things in common, but about three months in we started fighting about almost everything, well more like she fought with me about everything (shes one of those woman that always likes getting her way.) Basically though we dated steadily for four years and then she broke it off just a couple of months ago, the problem was every time I asked why I got a different answer, I'm pretty sure the reason was because she met someone new well we where in college together, and she decided that maybe she would be better off with him, the big problem is I have tried to cut her out of my life to get over her but it is almost impossible because we have the same group of friends, I still see her at school. But the main problem this is creating for me is it is difficult to get in to another relationship because if in my previous one if I treated her really well and still got dumped it could eaily happen again, so even would could comment on why the relationship may have ended out of nowhere, or why I still want her back even though she had more negative things to do with the relationship then positives, I would really apreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

Your right about taking a risk in a relationship. There are no guarantees for any one. If you have acknowledged the negative out weigh the positives then what is it your looking for here? That's so confusing and you should really be looking to getting your own mind together and figuring what is healthy and what is not. Take this time to work on you and leave her alone. Not easy given your circumstances, but it will be okay. Time will heal if you let it.

Me and my ex girlfriend dated for four years and broke up just about four months ago I've attempted to cut off al communication with her but I still can not stop thinking about her, I keep hoping she will come back but deep down I know she won't, this makes it very difficult to move on because I'm concerned I will not find someone else who I can be as comfortable with as I was with her. Is it normal that even after four months I can't stop thinking about her and getting upset evrytime I do. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

Sure it's normal not all people get over someone that soon, getting over someone does take time. You might find yourself even years down the road thinking of her.
This is what helped me get through something similar to you.

I have a friend who I talk with all the time mostly via e-mails as we live in different states. What he had me do was to type out everything I felt toward the guy. Good or bad my friend would stay on till all hours of day or night with me. In time we started talking of other things and to this day I tell him how much it meant to have him there for me to talk with.

Yes, it is perfectly normal. Love and feelings don't just go away. It takes time to get over a person and in fact no one ever gets over anyone. Deep down inside there is always going to be some feelings for that person even though they don't show nor do you realize it. It will take some time for you to get ready, but you will and can meet someone just as good as her if not better. Just remember it takes time. Good luck! :)

Don't worry, you're completely normal.
The only thing to do is let time run it's course and let yourself heal.

Yes, that's normal.

It might take quite a while, but if you really want to get over her, you must really take it day by day and work on it.
Good luck!~

Me and my ex girlfriend dated for four years and broke up just about four months ago ive attempted to cut off al communication with her but i still can not stop thinking about her, i keep hoping she will come back but deep down i know she wont, this makes it very difficult to move on because im concerned i will not find someone else who i can be as comfortable with as i was with her. Is it normal that even after four months i can't stop thinking about her and getting upset evrytime i do. If anyone has any suggestions on what to do i would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.
Hi there,
Is there no way you can talk to her? Why did you guys break up anyway? Was she out of love with you? Can you try just meeting for a supposedly friendly drink and look your best and be totally seductive and supposedly over her?

To answer you question the reason we broke up was because she said that she dident feel the same way about me anymore and around the same time she had met another guy at our college who she really seemed to like, we then broke up after I attempted to mend the relationship but she put no effort into trying to work things out we reamined friends for awhile with her telling me that we would most likely get back together in time, she then went on a trip with this guy and some of his friends, and when she came back told me that we where completely over and she would not even consider giving our relationship a second chance, so even though my friend keeps telling me that because of all this I'm am better off I without her I sure don't feel like it. Now from what I hear because we have cut off all communicattion is that she hangs out with that guy she likes all the time now even though they are not dating as far as anyone is aware.

Hopefully this answers your question

Why Is Everyone Giving Up On The Person They Love! I Can't Stand You People! If You Are In Love Work Things Out! Stop Giving Up! You Always Lose The Best Things In Life By Giving Up! Ive Been With My Girl For Four Years As Well! And She Wants To Leave Me! She Put Me Though So Much But I Love Her! I Don't Want to Give Up On Her! If She Wants To Give Up On Me That's On Her But I Would Never Give Up On Her! I Love Her To Death. People Stop Giving Up!

LOOK MAN, DO YOU LOVE HER? IF SO TRY TO GET HER BACK BY ANY MEANS NECCSESSARY!
IF SHE TRULY Doesn't LOVE YOU THEN GIVE UP. BUT Don't QUIT YET. SO WHAT IF SHE HAS ANOTHER FLING! SHE WILL RELIZE SHE WAS BETTER OFF WITH YOU SOON ENOUGH. BUT YOU Got to TRY AGAIN
JUST 1 MORE TIME!

It takes courage to give up and realise it's over, and it's much healthier for you than grasping at nothing.

Hey buddy, it sounds like this relationship is over. It's hard to hear, I know. I'm about a year down the line from where you are and I'm it takes more than 4 months if you were very seriously involved. You deseve to be with someone who thinks the world of you. So, this is the inevitable mourning stage you are going through. After that though, great things will come along. I promise.

Why Is Everyone Giving Up On The Person They Love!? I Can't Stand You People! If You Are In Love Work Things Out! Stop Giving Up! You Always Lose The Best Things In Life By Giving Up! Ive Been With My Girl For Four Years As Well! And She Wants To Leave Me! She Put Me Though So Much But I Love Her! I Dont Wanna Give Up On Her! If She Wants To Give Up On Me Thats On Her But I Would Never Give Up On Her! I Love Her To Death. People Stop Giving Up!

LOOK MAN, DO YOU LOVE HER? IF SO TRY TO GET HER BACK BY ANY MEANS NECCSESSARY!
IF SHE TRULY DOESNT LOVE YOU THEN GIVE UP. BUT DONT QUIT YET. SO WHAT IF SHE HAS ANOTHER FLING! SHE WILL RELIZE SHE WAS BETTER OFF WITH YOU SOON ENOUGH. BUT YOU GOTTA TRY AGAIN
JUST 1 MORE TIME!


I actually tried close to about 3 times and every time she said no, just thought that should be added in response.

So what are you guys trying ta say! The four years they been together meant nothing to her!

I swear man here's america at its best! Leave the perfect relation ships, and get with people that treat you like nothing!

Why can't couples work through things anymore, it never used to be like this, im afraid of the future.

All right well if you tried, then I guess it really is over. At least you tried right? Man now I know my relationships over.

So what now guys? Is that it? We just give up now? And hope to find something better in a future that's not promised?

Its over for a reason, we need to move on for ourselves. You cannot put yourself out if there is nothing to reach for anymore.

I understand this.

Which is why you don't hold on to the past!

You let it go, the past is gone its dead its buried! There's no point in digging it up again! I don't understand why couples don't get this!
Let the past go mend it, talk about it, to make a better future!

Don't just give up! It hurts me to know that people don't work through things anymore! They just blow it off and get someone else! Nonsense!

It takes two people to work something out if only one person wants to work it out but the other person is not willing to try then there really is no point and if there not willing to work on it even after four years then what does that say about the relationship? Or better yet what does it say about where the relationship would eventually end up even if you work it out now.

Heh, You're Absolutley Right, Shut Me Up Right There.

But Still, I Don't Get Women Nowadays, What They Don't Believe There Are Actually Good Men Out There?

So They Get Scared Of A Good Relationship And Bail Out Right?>?
What Is This! Us Being Men Take The Initiative To Try And Work Things Out,and They Just Give Up! I Mean, Common! Nonsense I Tell Ya!

I TELL HER I LOVE HER, WHAT Doesn't SHE UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?
ITS JUST NONSENSE THAT PEOPLE GIVE UP SO EASILY. Ridiculous.
AND What's WITH THIS SPACE NONSENSE!

LOOK CHECK THIS OUT. (SPACE,BREAK,BREAK-UP) DOES Anyone SEE A Resemblance?
SO HOW DOES TAKING A BREAK HELP A RELATIONSHIP! IM STILL CONFUSED HERE!

:confused: <<<still Confused>>>

You will always be confused until you can leave the caps (seems like shouting) and open your mind to the knowledge that others are trying to show you from experience.:eek:

It takes two people to work something out if only one person wants to work it out but the other person is not willing to try then there really is no point and if there not willing to work on it even after four years then what does that say about the relationship? or better yet what does it say about where the relationship would eventually end up even if you work it out now.
You are so normal, and I have to applaud you for accepting what is going on and taking the right steps to start the healing process. It speaks much to your maturity and a healthy ability to make decisions, that will help you along in getting past this experience. Hang in and realise that the posts of A... are the wails of someone in pain and doesn't yet know what you know.

Relationships that have last that long are generally the hardest to get over . It does sound like you still have feelings for your ex but this will take time to get over and not that you will not still love your ex in someway , but you with time there are ways to move on meet new people and not forget those that were important , but move along eventually.I am sorrie if it sounds drastic, but you will heal in time .

Good luck with all that you do , try and get out there and focus on the things you enjoy in life rather than sitting ina miserable state ( so to speak) , that way you will be able to see that life has more to offer than a painful memory .Keep the good times that you had with your ex in your memories little box that way you will never forget her but , manage to ease / learn how to deal with your life more .

You are so normal, and I have to applaud you for accepting what is going on and taking the right steps to start the healing process. It speaks much to your maturity and a healthy ability to make decisions, that will help you along in getting past this experience. Hang in and realise that the posts of A......... are the wails of someone in pain and doesn't yet know what you know.

Lol this was too funny. Actually that post was the wails of an optimist holding on to an empty glass trying to fill it with whispers of sweet nothings. Lol

<there was nothing there to begin with>

Okay so I have posted on here before about how I was having trouble getting over my ex girlfriend of four years, its been about five months now since we broke up, Basically everything was great for awhile there I was getting everything back to normal I was exercising, hanging out with my buddies, working. All this was going great for me until I went out last night with my some friends of mine who just so happen to hang out with my ex sometimes, One of them made the mistake of telling me that she was now officially dating someone new (the guy she broke up with me for) finally. Im not sure why but the second I heard this it just tore my heart out.

The thing is I knew its was going to happen at some point and I knew it would be with this guy but I suppose it's the reliaztion of her being with someone new that bothers me so much, and when I think about it I get such a mixture of emotions I feel so sad but at the same time just incredibly angry.

Now at the same time I at least have my friends support who know I want no contact with her so they told straight out that they wouldent invite her out if I was going and vice versa. Which is good because that will make healing over this hump a little easier but I know anytime I see the her and her new boyfriend together It going to set me back every time.

The funny thing is that she wasent even the best girlfriend in the world to me at least just because she was so bossey and demanding and always had to have things her way but that doesent change the fact that I loved her and even though I do not want to out with her again at the same time I just cannot stand seeing her with anyone else, and knowing that she is happy with someone else.

So if anyone has some advice or persoanl storys that could help me through this rough patch I would really appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

So your trying to say, it's been 4 years since you broke up, and you still think about her. That's crazy dude I personally hope that doesn't happen to me. And the only advice I can give you is once I've figured my problem I promise to pass the message straight to you. Good luck.

Of 4 years we where together for four years, have been broken up for five months lol.

I know how you feel. This is a hard situation. When my ex emailed me in November that he was now living with the girl he dumped me for, it was a total setback for me. That was probably the point at which I gave up all hope of any reconciliation. I know that in my heart, until I read that email, I did harbor hopes that we might get back together because I truly cared for him. In a way, I felt that the breakup was all new again (when he casually told me the news) because I think I had been avoiding the pain of accepting the end by harboring the hope. Does that make sense at all? The only advice I can give is to keep doing what you have been doing. Keep the no contact going and give it more time. You will be back to where you were again soon. Hugs to you.

I think a breakup would be a lot easier if you knew that the other would never hook up with anybody ever again. Unfortunately, it seldoms works that way.
Just remember... "Everything happens for a reason." You are going to meet somebody that is going to fall head over heels in love with you. God had to free you up from this last girl, to make sure that you were available when he sends you an angel. :)
Best of luck to you.

Hi X-stream,
My boyfriend moved on after only a couple of weeks to a new girl. It crushed me too. Try to look at it in a good way though (I know that seems so hard) Think of it like now you know it's finally over... Now you can really start moving on. You deserve a girl who isn't so bossy and demanding! You only get to live once, don't settle for someone who is selfish and needs everything their way.

Just try to hang in there. Keep doing things everyday that make YOU happy! This was just a little set-back. Stay on that path of healing!

This is not a setback, its only another glitch to overcome. There will be situations that catch you by surprise, but with each one it gets better as you realise that you dealt with it correctly. I bet your stronger for it, and that is the way to handle it. Feels terrible for a while, but just let it go, and keep doing exactly what you've been doing.

I agree with tal...

In the midst of my breakup, I have had a few things that really worried me at the time. I would be quite scared about how "bad this is going to hurt in the morning" and "what have I done, I ruined all my progress...

To be honest, when the time comes, I notice that it affects me much less than I had originally thought it would. That is a sign of healing, and I'm sure you will be the same. It is nice to realize that more serious things can now cross my mind, and my reaction is much less severe that it would have been, or than I expected.

Don't fret too much :)

Thanks all I find all your advice helpful and reading it and knowing I have support from people who have been through the same thing makes me feel better already. So thank you again.