H0N3Y
May 27, 2012, 09:51 AM
I have been married going on 2 yrs in June. We been together a total of 5. We started dating in high school and we are only 22. My husband is in the military and I am going to school and be a nurse and working.
I first moved out of state with my husband December of 2010 and found out a lot of things about him. For one, he was being really flirtatious through text with a girl he said he wouldn't communicate with because I told him that she did have something for him he swore she didn't but now looking back he knew she did and took complete advantage of that. He also was texting one of his best friends about having sex with a girl and how he was able to give her orgasms and when I asked him about it he lied and said his other friend was using his phone because his girlfriend was in town and than when I told him how much sense that didn't make. He later said that it was him but he really didn't do it he just wanted his friend to think that's what he was doing because he's not married and he didn't want his friend to think he was boring and not having fun just because he's married, I know right yeah right!
But since December to May I lived with him and I moved back home may because he got deployed for 6 months and I went to go care for my father who eventually died from cancer. Between December and May we had two big fights and one was because of what I found out and I know it's wrong to search through his phone but I had a gut feeling that he wasn't completely faithful to me while I wasn't living with him because of the big adjustments I had to make. We didn't move in right away after marriage. During the fight my husband likes to rip my clothes and of the closet and tells me to get out of his house (we have a apartment together) and to leave his **** meaning the cell phone and keys and things like that. He tosses me against the wall and throws me of the bed mush me in my face yells in my face and spits while yelling holds me against the wall or down on the bed by my neck and then its Ike once his anger is all out he immediately apologizes.
This has happened twice before he left for deployment. We both came back to our apartment November and things have been fine since until about 2 weeks ago. He got drunk and we went to the mall. I was completely upset with him because of the way he was acting while we were there. He got mad at me for being mad so he wasn't talking to me. We were suppose to be going out with friends that night. I asked if he was going to get ready. He ignored me so I asked him again. He said nothing so I went to take a shower and he takes my towel in a joking matter. I said stop playing with him to not set him off but it did. He once again did his same routine with throwing my things telling me to get my stuff and get out.
I asked him why he was doing this and I told to him about it from the past two times and warned him if it happened I would leave. He told me that was what I get acting like a **** and mushed my face so hard I got a blister under my lips from my teeth hitting it and he grabbed me by my face and squeezed so hard my jaw muscles were sore for a couple days. Once again he apologized right after he got his anger out and said how he know I was going to leave him.
After, we didn't talk for like a full week. I told him we needed to talk although he hates to talk especially when it will be when he's in the wrong. All he had to say was he was sorry he had too much to drink and he wouldn't have did it otherwise and that he got mad at me and was already mad about other things so he snapped. If I remember correctly, he wasn't drunk the last two times.
Since then, my feelings for him have changed drastically. I was already finding myself not wanting to have sex with him as often but it wasn't completely horrible. Now it's like I don't want it at all. Everything he does bothers me more than it would have like his obsession with groping me. When he feels like it has gotten to the point when he does it now, I curse at him in my head and I try to get him to stop without making him mad because I know how that would turn out. We wouldn't talk to each other for hours.
When I turn him down for sex he's like oh yea I forgot I got to do it myself right. I'm so confused as to what I should do we have no kids and we had a scare this past week that I was pregnant. I took the test at home alone and I actually cried I was so happy I wasn't because I can't have his baby. We are not ready and I don't know if I am going to leave him or not.
I think about it often since the last fight but I can't get myself to go through with it. He also has an anger problem so counseling probably wouldn't work since he is not getting counseling himself plus that would be out of the question for him. I once asked him if he had a problem would we go to counseling. He said no--if we had to do that we might as well just leave each other.
What am I feeling? What should I do? He is a good guy. He takes good care of home. I really don't have to worry about us financially. He just has anger issues that usually are taken out on me. I need a little reassuring that I am not a bad person for just wanting to give up.
I first moved out of state with my husband December of 2010 and found out a lot of things about him. For one, he was being really flirtatious through text with a girl he said he wouldn't communicate with because I told him that she did have something for him he swore she didn't but now looking back he knew she did and took complete advantage of that. He also was texting one of his best friends about having sex with a girl and how he was able to give her orgasms and when I asked him about it he lied and said his other friend was using his phone because his girlfriend was in town and than when I told him how much sense that didn't make. He later said that it was him but he really didn't do it he just wanted his friend to think that's what he was doing because he's not married and he didn't want his friend to think he was boring and not having fun just because he's married, I know right yeah right!
But since December to May I lived with him and I moved back home may because he got deployed for 6 months and I went to go care for my father who eventually died from cancer. Between December and May we had two big fights and one was because of what I found out and I know it's wrong to search through his phone but I had a gut feeling that he wasn't completely faithful to me while I wasn't living with him because of the big adjustments I had to make. We didn't move in right away after marriage. During the fight my husband likes to rip my clothes and of the closet and tells me to get out of his house (we have a apartment together) and to leave his **** meaning the cell phone and keys and things like that. He tosses me against the wall and throws me of the bed mush me in my face yells in my face and spits while yelling holds me against the wall or down on the bed by my neck and then its Ike once his anger is all out he immediately apologizes.
This has happened twice before he left for deployment. We both came back to our apartment November and things have been fine since until about 2 weeks ago. He got drunk and we went to the mall. I was completely upset with him because of the way he was acting while we were there. He got mad at me for being mad so he wasn't talking to me. We were suppose to be going out with friends that night. I asked if he was going to get ready. He ignored me so I asked him again. He said nothing so I went to take a shower and he takes my towel in a joking matter. I said stop playing with him to not set him off but it did. He once again did his same routine with throwing my things telling me to get my stuff and get out.
I asked him why he was doing this and I told to him about it from the past two times and warned him if it happened I would leave. He told me that was what I get acting like a **** and mushed my face so hard I got a blister under my lips from my teeth hitting it and he grabbed me by my face and squeezed so hard my jaw muscles were sore for a couple days. Once again he apologized right after he got his anger out and said how he know I was going to leave him.
After, we didn't talk for like a full week. I told him we needed to talk although he hates to talk especially when it will be when he's in the wrong. All he had to say was he was sorry he had too much to drink and he wouldn't have did it otherwise and that he got mad at me and was already mad about other things so he snapped. If I remember correctly, he wasn't drunk the last two times.
Since then, my feelings for him have changed drastically. I was already finding myself not wanting to have sex with him as often but it wasn't completely horrible. Now it's like I don't want it at all. Everything he does bothers me more than it would have like his obsession with groping me. When he feels like it has gotten to the point when he does it now, I curse at him in my head and I try to get him to stop without making him mad because I know how that would turn out. We wouldn't talk to each other for hours.
When I turn him down for sex he's like oh yea I forgot I got to do it myself right. I'm so confused as to what I should do we have no kids and we had a scare this past week that I was pregnant. I took the test at home alone and I actually cried I was so happy I wasn't because I can't have his baby. We are not ready and I don't know if I am going to leave him or not.
I think about it often since the last fight but I can't get myself to go through with it. He also has an anger problem so counseling probably wouldn't work since he is not getting counseling himself plus that would be out of the question for him. I once asked him if he had a problem would we go to counseling. He said no--if we had to do that we might as well just leave each other.
What am I feeling? What should I do? He is a good guy. He takes good care of home. I really don't have to worry about us financially. He just has anger issues that usually are taken out on me. I need a little reassuring that I am not a bad person for just wanting to give up.