losteverywhere
May 21, 2012, 02:02 PM
I was in a long-distance relationship that lasted a year and a half. It 'ended' last April but I am still not over my ex-girlfriend. We had an argument that made me block her from talking to me online. The reason I acted the way I did was that she told me she's planning to see other people. That hurt me, a lot. Her reason was that she's unsure of us anymore and that she would like to try and see if we are really meant together... basically something along those lines...
It’s only been a month and I found out that she's already sleeping with the new guy she's with. I am an idiot for looking online to see how she is doing. I’m a moron. Every time I looked, it always brought bad things and yet I seem to still want to hurt myself. I loved her. I made her my world. I didn't expect her to do this to me. She told me I was her 'true love' and that she could never love another person like she loved me. It’s so crap really but I fell for it.
Now I’m trying to be myself again. It’s difficult... I am not weak like this. But somehow this stupid love made me lose myself. I want to be myself again and to function the way I did before she came into my life. Every time, I think about who I was before I met her and that would just confuse me even more. I would start to ask myself if I really was happy before I met her. I just feel so lost.
I tried to go and verbalize my feelings to the selected people I trust. All of them say that it will get better. It’s just... so difficult to apprehend what they're saying. It’s worst at night. I’m so used to spending time with her online. It’s my fault I made her my world. I know that. I just don't know why I can't move on (or focus with my studies) after all she's done to me... I still miss her... but I don’t want to feel like this anymore... I’m tired... I don't really know what I need or what I want. I’m just writing this in hope of someone maybe understanding me. I feel like I want to talk to someone but at the same time there's this thing in my head that I am just finding a substitute for her. I’m so confused... I just really get over her already.
It’s only been a month and I found out that she's already sleeping with the new guy she's with. I am an idiot for looking online to see how she is doing. I’m a moron. Every time I looked, it always brought bad things and yet I seem to still want to hurt myself. I loved her. I made her my world. I didn't expect her to do this to me. She told me I was her 'true love' and that she could never love another person like she loved me. It’s so crap really but I fell for it.
Now I’m trying to be myself again. It’s difficult... I am not weak like this. But somehow this stupid love made me lose myself. I want to be myself again and to function the way I did before she came into my life. Every time, I think about who I was before I met her and that would just confuse me even more. I would start to ask myself if I really was happy before I met her. I just feel so lost.
I tried to go and verbalize my feelings to the selected people I trust. All of them say that it will get better. It’s just... so difficult to apprehend what they're saying. It’s worst at night. I’m so used to spending time with her online. It’s my fault I made her my world. I know that. I just don't know why I can't move on (or focus with my studies) after all she's done to me... I still miss her... but I don’t want to feel like this anymore... I’m tired... I don't really know what I need or what I want. I’m just writing this in hope of someone maybe understanding me. I feel like I want to talk to someone but at the same time there's this thing in my head that I am just finding a substitute for her. I’m so confused... I just really get over her already.