I live in Texas, my ex lives in OK. We have 2 daughters. My questions is, we have joint custody, but the girls have not been in her custody or care for 5 months now. Can I pick them up and keep them? As I said they have lived with their moms, parents for 5 months now. Is there any thing I can file such as abandonment on the ex, since she dropped the girls off with her parents 5 months ago, and states, when she gets her crap together, she will get the girls..
They should be with me if they are not with their mother, and she isn't in a hurry to get her crap together to provide for my daughters.

You have joint, so when do you suppose to have them, but you file for a change in custody, using abandoment as the reason, ask for full custody.

You have joint, so when do you suppose to have them, but you file for a change in custody, using abandoment as the reason, ask for full custody.

And you would file in the state court where you were divorced.

You have joint, so when do you suppose to have them, but you file for a change in custody, using abandoment as the reason, ask for full custody.

I am suppose to have them for 30 days, starting May 18th. I am seeking sole custody, and have filed in Oklahoma, where the girls have lived since Oct 2010.
However, the girls have NOT lived with their mom in over 5 months. They have been living with their grandparents. Shouldn't that be grounds for abandonment, in which I should be allowed to get the girls, and keep them with me, until the final custody hearing?

Yes it may be grounds not for "criminal" abandonment but for a reason in family court BUT

You have to have a judge declare it, there is no automatic abandonment like this, the mother left children in a safe environment, under the care of another person.

So you when you get the children don't have to return them to anyone but the mother, so you get them and file for custody. You ask for an emergancy order of temp custody till the court case is done.

I have heard that in cases of Back child support, that once the child turns 18, the child support stops, and that the child then has to go after the back child support to get it... is this true?
I have 3 daughters, one will turn 18 soon, so will my child support amount drop at that time, and will the kids have to file through court to get any back child support I owe?

No at least in the US or Canada this is not the case, the child has no rights to child support it is always paid to the care giver who it was given to. At 18 in many places they can not longer file for back support if they had never filed.

If you have a child support order in place and owe back support you must keep paying to the other party till the back support is paid, In fact if at 18 current support ends, the other party can file to make you pay more toward back support if there is no current being paid.

Not sure where you heard this, it is not true

I have never received divorce papers or any custody papers showing I was ordered by the courts to pay child support, but the child support enforcement agency stepped in and started garnishing my wages years ago. When I call the child support enforcement agency to find out how she was able to get child support without court order, I get the run around and no straight answers. Could she have gone to the agency without court orders to go after me for child support?

First, any question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

If the mother applied for public assistance, then they may have ordered support to reimburse the state.

But if you have allowed them to garnish your salary without legal documentation, then you are being foolish. You start, by getting a copy of the order served on your employer. A garnishment order usually has to be issued by a court. So that may give you a case/docket number you can use to get transcripts from the court.

If the garnishment order was not issued by a court, then you need to research the law in your area to see if the agency can issue and order on their own. In any case, you are entitled to copies of legal paperwork.

And you really need to get your information from better sources. I don't know where you heard that back support stops at 18. But I have never heard that and don't believe that is the law anywhere. If an award for support is issued, and you don't pay all you are required to, you accumulate arrears. Arrears can accumulate interest, so the arrears can continue to be collected for as long as they exist. The regular support can stop when the award says it will stop.

After a case is dismissed in one county how long do I have to wait to start the case in another county?

What state ? Is this within the same state? What type of case? Is there any other related cases already in the other state besides the one that was dismissed.

Why was it dismissed ?

In Oklahoma.. it will be in the same state, no other related cases open. The attorney asked for $7000 or he will withdraw from the case. We can not come up with that kind of money within 2 weeks. We are seeking sole custody of 2 minor children. She moved to another county right before this case was started, and now she has established residency in another county, so we want to move the case to the county she lives in.

Is there any such thing as financial assistance for dads who are seeking sole custody of his children? I have to come up with $2500 by the end of August, and that is going to be VERY difficult, as I am house payment, car payment, child support etc to pay also...

If I find out my divorce from 13 years ago isn't final, I understand we have to go through the divorce proceedings again, however, if I am remarried, do I have to divorce my current wife as well? Or is that marriage just considered invalid and we have to do it all over again?

If your first marriage was never final, and still valid, that makes you a guilty of bigamy.
The current "new" marriage could be challenged in court since you could not legatlly remarry, you cannot divorce if you were never married. You could get an annulment but really just need to get remarried again.

I thought the divorce from 13 yrs ago was final, but just recently found out it isn't. My ex did remarry and got divorced within those 13 yrs. I just remarried a year ago. My ex still claims we are divorced, however, she can't produce a final decree and I can't find one anywhere. All this has taken place in OK and now I am in TX and remarried in TX. Do I need to go to the court house and explain the situation to have my current marriage license removed or something?

What would make the marriage from 13 years ago not still valid? She remarried a couple months after our divorce was supposibly final, and she just recently got divorced.

I thought the divorce from 13 yrs ago was final, but just recently found out it isn't. My ex did remarry and got divorced within those 13 yrs. I just remarried a year ago. My ex still claims we are divorced, however, she can't produce a final decree and I can't find one anywhere. All this has taken place in OK and now I am in TX and remarried in TX. Do I need to go to the court house and explain the situation to have my current marriage license removed or something?


No, you need to contact OK (if that's where you got your divorce) and ask for a copy of the final decree. You very well may have committed bigamy. That means that your current "marriage" is not legal.

You need to find out the status of your first marriage before you can address your second.

Thank you for your help...
Now I wonder, how did she get child support, and get it garnished from my wages if it was never ordered by a judge, can that now be disputed? Don't get me wrong I will continue to do my part in taking care of my kids, but how is it that my checks are being garnished and my income tax refunds being taken, if there was never court ordered child support? Can she also be in trouble for getting remarried, even though she just got divorced?

thank you for your help...
Now I wonder, how did she get child support, and get it garnished from my wages if it was never ordered by a judge, can that now be disputed?? Don't get me wrong I will continue to do my part in taking care of my kids, but how is it that my checks are being garnished and my income tax refunds being taken, if there was never court ordered child support? can she also be in trouble for getting remarried, even though she just got divorced??


It's possible support was ordered on a temporary basis, pending a final Order, and no final Order was never filed.

If child support was not Court ordered she cannot take legal means to collect from you.

There HAD to be Court ordered support if it is being taken out of your check and your IRS refunds are being seized.

Yes, she also committed bigotry.

There is too much going on here, in my opinion, for the divorce to never have been finalized.

I agree and she says there is a final decree, but she can not come up with it and I have searched OK data base for one and there is a docket, but the case was dismissed years ago. She had to provide a written statement and failed to do so, the case shows to have been dismissed. I can not find another case or where it was ever finalized. Can the state of OK garnish my wages if she was getting food stamps?

Child support has nothing to do with divorce, ( although often done at same time) same with child custody

The state just as the father of the child, can garnish your wages, divorced or not divorced, for child support.

You can not just go remove your current marriage, you can file for an annullment based on the grounds you were married at the time it happened, but that is also confessing to a crime, so I am not sure I would do that.

You will need to hire an attorney or a legal researcher in the state and court where the divorce was to happen, they will need to review all of the actual records.

If there is no final divorce you will need to either, reopen or what ever is required to make it final.

Then you get remarried to your current wife.

If you find proof it is final, no issues

I agree and she says there is a final decree, but she can not come up with it and I have searched OK data base for one and there is a docket, but the case was dismissed years ago. She had to provide a written statement and failed to do so, the case shows to have been dismissed. I can not find another case or where it was ever finalized. Can the state of OK garnish my wages if she was getting food stamps?


Yes, the State which provided benefits to your children can garnish your wages in order to get repaid.

What if she was convicted of food stamp fraud, and had to repay herself, what she received, can they still go after me

We could play what if all day, so was she convicted of food stamp fraud ?

Thinking she was divorced will not be food stamp fraud.

You need to deal with the divorce, final answer, all other questions are mute
You owed child support since she had the kids, the divorce not being final will not change any child custody or support orders

What part of the divorce is it you believe is missing for it to be final? Is this the fault of the courts or one of the parties involved? There are legal means for turning the clock back but it has specific rules to go with it.

Do you know of what the last filings were in your case for divorce?

Last thing on the docket shows order allowing counsel to withdraw, then case dismissed for lack of prosecution, and lastly crt orders dismissal of 10-1-02 set aside; PLF ordered to file a written statement w/in 30 days. Per Court order case imaged and destroyed.
She was the PLF and didn't follow through. However she was remarried in the same county the month prior to this dismissal...
I have no problem with taking care of my kids, and will continue to do so, but when I am accused of oweing $25,000 in back child support, it kind of gets me to wondering how in the world I could owe that much when I was NEVER ordered to pay in the first place.
She was on food stamps, however, SHE was charged with FRAUD and was ordered to pay it all back, but I am still paying for what she has already paid as well.
On top of all that my kids are now teenagers and their mother does NOT give them the child support. She is allowing my 16 year old to live with someone else, but refuses to help her financially, and the EX gets child support every other week in the amount of $800!

You need to find out to whom the child support is owed. If it is to the state they may cut you a deal and reduce the amount. If it is owed to the mother there will be no reduction.

You can ask your work for a copy of the order they had received and then backtrack from there. You should have received a copy when they started taking money from your check.

Sorry, I just have read this two-page thread and there are so many issues:


If, as it appears, the divorce case was dismissed for lack of prosecution, OP should ask to re-open the case and ask for an entry of a divorce decree nunc pro tunc (Latin for as of a prior date) dated 13 years ago.

No, you don't have to divorce your present wife. Fr_Chuck's suggestion that you can get the present marriage anulled misses the pont: I assume you don't want to split the sheets with your present wife, right?

Child support: you would have had to pay child support whether or not you were divorced, or still married but separated (which appears to be the case).

I agree with AK. You acted in good faith when you remarried. So I don't see any issue of bigamy, nor any need to void your current marriage.

You should be able to have the case reopened and a backdated order issued.

As to the support issue, who is telling you that there is back support? If an order og garnishment was issued and you have had the support deducted ever since how can there be arrears?

Sorry, I just have read this two-page thread and there are so many issues:


If, as it appears, the divorce case was dismissed for lack of prosecution, OP should ask to re-open the case and ask for an entry of a divorce decree nunc pro tunc (Latin for as of a prior date) dated 13 years ago.





Nunc pro tunc may not apply in this case. It is normally used when there is a mistake made by the courts. That answer would need to come from a lawyer that can examine the case in closer degree.

Ref:


http://www.lectlaw.com/def2/n083.htm

I live in Tx. My 16 year old daughter has been having problems with her mother for many years and has expressed interest in severing all ties to her.
The situation is difficult, as my 16 year old is living with her step-dad, or was her step-dad for many years. Recently her mother divorced him, but my daughter has been in his household for 13 or 14 years. She has gone to the same school all her life, and is a junior this year. She wishes to stay with her step dad to finish school, and as I get along with the step dad, would just like to see my daughter happy.
She had been told for several years a lot of lies about me, and I was unable to see my daughters for many years because of their mother and her lies. I am in constant contact with my daughters (17, 16, and 14)
My daughter has been subjected to things such as catching her mother in bed with 2 men, while she was married. She has been told that I never paid child support, to which I have documented proof otherwise. Her mother is unwilling to financially support her and has recently been physical with her, as she slapped my daughter twice in the face.
Is there a way she can divorce her mom, and my child support payments be paid directly to my daughter?

I live in Tx. My 16 year old daughter has been having problems with her mother for many years and has expressed interest in severing all ties to her.
The situation is difficult, as my 16 year old is living with her step-dad, or was her step-dad for many years. Recently her mother divorced him, but my daughter has been in his household for 13 or 14 years. She has gone to the same school all her life, and is a junior this year. She wishes to stay with her step dad to finish school, and as I get along with the step dad, would just like to see my daughter happy.
she had been told for several years alot of lies about me, and I was unable to see my daughters for many years because of thier mother and her lies. I am in constant contact with my daughters (17, 16, and 14)
My daughter has been subjected to things such as catching her mother in bed with 2 men, while she was married. She has been told that I never paid child support, to which I have documented proof otherwise. Her mother is unwilling to financially support her and has recently been physical with her, as she slapped my daughter twice in the face.
Is there a way she can divorce her mom, and my child support payments be paid directly to my daughter?


In a word - no, not without a Court action. If her stepfather can get custody or guardianship, then, yes, the payments would go to him.

It will not go directly to your daughter. Child support isn't just pocket money. It pays to keep a roof over her head, buy food, pay utilities.

If you are paying the mother and she is keeping the money, go back to Court and get the Order changed.

Where are your two other children living?

Is your other thread about you or a niece? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/no-geographical-restrictions-699415.html

EDIT: My concern is your seven other threads regarding your marriage and child support. There are too many issues which are too entwined in order an otherwise "simple" question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/joint-custody-different-states-660765.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/back-child-support-673104.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/family-law-moving-one-county-next-688559.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/financial-help-688593.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorce/how-do-procede-689690.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/divorce-not-final-692203.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/no-geographical-restrictions-699415.html

I have merged all your threads into one. If you have any followups, please post a response to this thread.

As Judy noted, if your daughter is not in the custody of the mother, then you should be paying support to whoever has custody. But to change where support is being paid, you have to go back to court.

As for your daughter "divorcing her mother", its possible, but since she doesn't have far to go until 18, it would not be worth the time and effort. Once she is 18 you can decide to have nothing more to do with the mother.

In a word - no, not without a Court action. If her stepfather can get custody or guardianship, then, yes, the payments would go to him.

It will not go directly to your daughter. Child support isn't just pocket money. It pays to keep a roof over her head, buy food, pay utilities.

If you are paying the mother and she is keeping the money, go back to Court and get the Order changed.

Where are your two other children living?

Is your other thread about you or a niece? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/no-geographical-restrictions-699415.html

EDIT: My concern is your seven other threads regarding your marriage and child support. There are too many issues which are too entwined in order an otherwise "simple" question: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/joint-custody-different-states-660765.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/back-child-support-673104.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/family-law-moving-one-county-next-688559.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/financial-help-688593.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorce/how-do-procede-689690.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/divorce-not-final-692203.html; https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/no-geographical-restrictions-699415.html

There is a lot going on with my family, I agree. My question is simply what are my daughters options. My 17 year old lives with their mother, the 14 year old lives with the step dad as well.
Let me try to explain some of the threads. I have 5 daughters. 3 with my ex-wife, who told me our divorce was final, but as it turns out, it isn't. I have 2 other daughters from a different relationship. M, as I will call her is the mother of my 3 teenage daughters. M received food stamps years ago, and was convicted of food stamp fraud, as she and I were still married, even living together at the time. I was unaware of her getting food stamps, as really at the time we were having problems, but working on things. I had to go to court, I showed that she and I were married and living together, and she was restricted from getting food stamps or any other help of that nature. When she filed for food stamps is when my checks were being garnished. As it stands, I was never ordered to pay child support, only paying the state back for I guess, her use of the food stamps. But at the same time she was ordered to repay what she had received, in the fraud conviction, however, my checks are still being garnished.
My 16 and 14 year old both, do not wish live with her, as she is never home, has several different boyfriends and other issues that they do not wish to put up with any longer. They do not want to come to TX as they have lived their entire lives in that town and have gone to school there. They have had their step dad in their lives for 12-13 years, and wish to stay with him. Although it hurts me, that they do not wish to come live with me, I understand their reasons, and only want them to be happy and healthy.
I recently found out that M, has neglected to pay doctor bills which has limited my daughters medical attention. I called to get an appointment for my 16 year old, only to be told that she owed $100.00 before she could be seen. I paid that but there are many other issues. My 16 and 14 year old do not live with her, but she refuses to help them by giving them even a small portion of the child support. My 17 year old who lives with her has a full time job and is going to school and is just waiting it out till she is 18 which is only a few months away. My 16 year old will turn 17 in Feb.
I just would like to know what my options are, and know I need to obtain an attorney, but attorney fees are so expensive and I am in a financially difficult spot.
I keep insurance on all 5 of my daughters and pay well over $1200 a month in child support, not to mention house payment, car payment and the normal monthly bills.

Seems to me that your initial focus should be to have custody invested in the step father so that the child support can go to him. But since this involves two states and since he legally has no standing, I'm not sure how to go about that. I would have him consult an OK attorney as to what can be done, he can give the attorney your contact info and you can advise the attorney that you are agreeable to him having custody for the girl's sake.

You can ask for visitation as part of this proceeding. I would hope that your daughters, after seeing the efforts you are willing to take for their happiness, will be more amenable to spending time with you.