Last week my girlfriend was getting ready for work and didn't know I was down stairs. I woke up to her pulling her bags down the stairs, confused as hell. She told me she was moving out and needs her own space. She also applied to graduate schools and none of them are in this state (I don't know how true this is).

Everyone thought our relationship was one of the best around, her family loves me, he friends tell me I changed her life, and I'm the only man she has brought around her family. We also just went to go visit her dad about a month ago and said "I picture us being engaged within six months" and she was extremely passionate about it. When I confronted her on this after the initial break-up she said it was stupid of her to say and she was just all gitty at the time.

When I met this girl she would always come and seek comfort in me. Her X would dump beer on her head in public and she had no self respect for herself. I changed all of this for her and her best friends would always mention how happy she seemed. I had a tendency to (unhealthy) become a push over to her, let her get y at me snappy and just let it go (I believe a big mistake on my part - but my heart wanted to show her what it was like to be a princess. This was totally opposite from my last long relationship where I stood my ground on anything I beloved in - so much that it ended.). She mentioned that I didn't challenge her, we didn't fight about anything.

So two days after the initial break up she was back in our apartment. Everything seemed like when we first started dating. We talked about issues and I became honest with her regarding my own issues which I kept locked away. The week went on and we were making plans left and right, she was talking about buying new things for the apartment, her brother came and stayed with us, family dinner at the parents, we would sit outside with a glass of wine and talk about our day.

Then it was like she flipped a switch and said she let it go back to right where it was and she needs to move out - she says she needs her own space and that's how she operates. She left our place for about two hours and when she came home I told her I didn't want her here tonight and she needs to leave. For the first time in awhile I seemed like I was back to my old selfish self. She didn't want to leave and said this was her house also. We went back and forth and she eventually said "you're right I need to leave" we sat down and talked afterwards I admitted to her that we both had our faults. I let her become a housewife and take on things that should have been mine. I also told her that I love her but can no longer let you disrespect me just so I can make her life easier and she agreed and starting crying. (don't give me wrong our time together wasn't bad it - she would also be the first person to say "Life with you is just comfortable we never fight and I know I could come back at anytime and everything will be ok" she just believes something is missing. She is a girl that thinks the movie the notebook is real life. Our initial passion died down and I know she realizes that but it became more of sustained emotions, real life begin to kick in. After talking with her she pulled me backup stairs and we laid in bed for 4 hours holding each other. She woke up and said she was going to her moms and didn't know if she would be back. I told her I wanted her back and gave my speech. She said maybe and that she wanted to finish watching "lost" with me. About a hour with her gone I got a clear mind again and sent her text saying "stay at your moms I need to clear my head". Which she agreed with. About the time she would just be finishing up at her moms she sent me a text asking me if I was all right, which I just ignored.

Right now I'm trying to get the power back in my life and regain all the respect I once had. I'm deeply confused at the whole situation. Due to facts I pointed out and I know she still loves me or at hope so. Every time I due something that shows her I can move on be OK or I stand up for myself she flips a switch and reacts positively towards it.

All I know now is that I don't want to lose her and she's the one. I also know that I need to repair myself imagine and I have been doing it rapidly and I think it's because she hurt me and opened my eyes.

What do I do now? She is also very wishy washy and seems confused. I don't want to be that open door for her. She needs to come back and get her stuff still and I'm not speaking to her right now.

I just can't seem to understand what's going on in her head and I want too so bad. She won't talk to any of her friends about this as well. I know she doesn't want to hear that she's wrong.

I should ad that she said she still wants to work on us just not live together. Which I don't think I want as I feel it's back peddling.

Maybe back peddaling is what you need. It is obvious that she is not ready to live with you, and although she may want to be your girlfriend, she wants to be by herself.

However, if you feel like you are being taken for granted, and she doesn't seem to value you too much, I would recommend to break things off. It seems as if she wants to put you on the back burner as the back up. This is exactly shown by "Life with you is just comfortable we never fight and I know I could come back at anytime and everything will be ok"...

Knowing that she can come back, lets her feel safe to leave, which she is doing. Move on, find someone who values you the way you should, after all, you put all your work in to make her feel like a "princess", if someone is not able to appreciate that I doubt they love you.

Go no contact, stay busy, and start moving on.

How old are you both, and how long did you date, and live togetther?

Don't waste any more time on working on "us", and just let her go because whatever her plans are do not include you. If they did you would have talked about it and made plans for it.

Leaving all of a sudden, its clear she has been making plans for herself without your input for some time now, and its time to let her go, and make a clean break of it now.

Give her space and let her leave.

If she likes you, this will be the best course of action because the distance gives her room to come back.

If she doesn't like you, then this will be the best course of action because you can move on with your life.

Although the part where you mentioned her ex dumping beer on her head and treating her like leads me to believe that this girl has a lot more issues than you might realize (otherwise she would have never been in that relationship and she definitely wouldn't tell you about it). Most people don't change (including girls). She might have pretended to be better with you but I'm willing to bet that you missed a whole lot of huge red flags in this girl that would have told you from the start that your relationship would go down the path it has.

You can expect that IF you continue a relationship with this woman, you will get the same messed up behavior from her for the next 50+ years. I just hope you don't marry her and then let her drag you through a messy divorce (because that's where this one would almost certainly go).

Bottom-line: It's time to move on and start looking to find a better woman who doesn't have the same issues as this girl. Lots of really great ones out there.

You sound like a rebound. Bet she never healed from her past relationship, but found her strength return with you, and as in most rebounds, when the injured person you took in and nursed back to health is ready, they fly away because the doctor is no longer needed.

I'm not a rebound I know that. I'm 27 and she is 24 we have lived together for over a year (3 months of living together in a apartment that is ours. Before our apartment she stayed at my place everyday.

So I have tried to get her to go back to her parents because I can't handle the back and forth and she said no. We then talked about our apartment and made arrangements for me to take over the lease as she was apartment shopping. A few days ago she came home and basically told me she isn't leaving she can't afford to move (which I think is a lie). I'm now stuck with living her. I can't move out because I'm attempting to buy a house at the end of this year. If I leave her the apartment she will not get a roommate and she can't afford our place. So I decided to try and make it easier for me while I figure out a game plan. I took all the pictures of us down off the walls and anything that was a reminder of us while she was out and after went to the bar. Right before I got home I get a text "Don't come home if you're going to be a "... I come into the house and she is crying on the sofa and everything I removed is back in its place. I told her it was unfair to have reminders of us up when there is no us. Her response was "It was disrespectful to pull all those pictures down as she spent a lot of time on them"... ok. I left for awhile and came back we ended up talking about random stuff, took a walk, had sex and sat on the sofa drink wine and watched a movie. We have plans to go to the movies tonight and we will see how that goes.

The above is nice for the moment but the bottom line is I want her out of the apartment. I need my space and I need her to figure herself out. I don't think anything will get better between us in this current situation. How do I go no contact with someone that lives with me and at the end of the night will get into the same bed as me.

Having sex with a confused girl is a great way to keep you both confused. Acting like a couple when things are so confused is evem worse. There is no substitute for talking honestly, and somebody sleeping on the sofa, until you straighten this mess out. Hell if she has no where to go now, she won't when the lease is up, and she sure as hell doesn't want to go home.

You have no choice but to talk, set rules and boundaries and share the place as room mates, not a couple. Or agree to try again. Talk and see, and not over wine, or after sex.