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View Full Version : Help me understand why?


Karkar6218
May 13, 2012, 05:34 PM
My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me 2 days before my birthday... 2 weeks ago. He's 46 and I'm 35. He said he's leaving me because I want marriage and kids and he's been married and has a 13 year old... and doesn't want that again. He broke up with me a year ago for these same reasons, but we got back together.

This time is different though... we have had contact since the breakup, but only because I initiated it first. I am so completely in love with him... I feel like someone has died. If he really loved me, wouldn't he sit down with me and try and work things out and talk to me? I only saw him face to face for about 20 minutes... all other communication was through emails and texts... Please help me understand.

Fr_Chuck
May 13, 2012, 05:42 PM
What do you mean by "sit down and work it out" this one is either one way or the other.

Are you OK with never getting married to him and not having any children with him, they tell him that you are OK just living together and never having kids.

This is not a thing that has a middle ground, well perhaps marriage and no kids?

But if he is willing to leave you for this, he is serious, do you love him enough to give up what you want, that is about your only choice. If you try getting back, hoping he will change, don't count on it,

When you got back with him a year ago, how did that happen, did you agree to not bring it up or just to talk about it latter ?

talaniman
May 13, 2012, 09:09 PM
Work what out? You must be still pressing for marriage and kids, and he dumped you again for mentioning it. What's the difference between texts, emails, and your calls and sitting down talking?

Help me understand why this has happened again after the results of last time?

Karkar6218
May 14, 2012, 09:35 AM
He asked me to get back together with him a year ago. He said that he loved me enough to keep an open mind about the future and that I was the only person he had met that made him second guess getting re-married and having more kids.

talaniman
May 14, 2012, 03:18 PM
Leave him alone and let him make up his own mind, and take time to see if this back and forth is even worth it, since despite his words he doesn't seem to really want what you want, nor is willing to discuss it.

Stop chasing him.