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View Full Version : I like someone my best-friend got with, what do I do?


citygirlrst
May 8, 2012, 12:58 AM
Full story time. My friends and I were at a club together (we are all females), my best friend suggested we hang with one of her friends. On the way to pick up this friend I asked about him, she and he had met online. They agreed to have a one-night-stand and just to be friends after. (earlier that night she was talking about how she had hooked up with a different guy and that she was into this other guy) So we got him, left and hung with more friends. During that night he flirted with me and afterwards we started talking. He also said that they had agreed on a one night stand and were now friends. Just in case, before it got too far, I specifically asked her if she still liked him. She said no, then I told her he had been flirting with me and I asked her if she would be cool with us continuing. So we continued talking, two weeks later I told her him and I were going to hang out. She told me she was not OK with this, I asked why. She said that when I met him she was actually dating him, and that they broke up because of what happened between him and I and because of that and the fact that she introduced me that she didn't want me to even be friends with him. She told me she regretted breaking her rule: of not introducing guys she wasn't dating to her friends (1. I don't know what that rule says about her, 2. She JUST said she had been dating him) So I confronted him and he proceeded by questioning her leading to him blocking her. I am not sure how to continue; I know she lied to me at some point. I don't know what she is thinking or feeling cause she keeps changing her mind. Anyone got any insight on what's going on with her? Should I continue to flirt with this guy, just be friends, or what?
((The topic of that they are the type of people to have a one-night-stand is a completely different convo))

I wish
May 8, 2012, 08:36 AM
Two factors that you need to sort out first:

1) How good of a friend is she? Do you really think she lied to you? Do you really think she's the type of person you want as a friend?

2) How much do you like this guy and does he really like you that much? He did have a one night stand, what does that say about him? Is he really worth losing your friendship with your girl friend?

Homegirl 50
May 8, 2012, 11:39 AM
I think you need to find out if in fact they were dating. If so, what kind of guy would flirt with the friend of his girl friend?
Is this girl a really good friend? If do you want the friendship destroyed over this guy?

citygirlrst
May 8, 2012, 12:25 PM
I thought she would never lie to me; but I'm sure she has because first she said they never dated, then she said they were dating, then she indicated they weren't dating. I do not think they were actually dating cause 1. she was sleeping with another guy when I met him 2. they both told me they weren't dating at first- he has remained saying they never dated she is the one changing her mind. I guess I am also concerned about whether I can continue our friendship if she's lying about something when I have always gone out of my way to tell the truth about anything that may affect her- no matter how awkward. We've been friends for nearly ten years, but she has a compulsive lying disorder or something along those lines that she's seeing a therapist for. When I point out what she said earlier that contradicts what she just said she laughs it off and blames it on her disorder. I don't think she actually has a disorder- that it is just an excuse to get away with lying, but she never pulled that stuff on me before this situation. What would you guys do?

Homegirl 50
May 8, 2012, 12:36 PM
I would not bother with him. You have been friends with this girl for ten years. Why let some guy you just met and only intend to just flirt with cause friction.

citygirlrst
May 8, 2012, 12:50 PM
Do you think it means anything that she's lying about what's going on? I know she is more important, but I am a bit frustrated that she won't stick to a story. (thankyou for replying)

Homegirl 50
May 8, 2012, 01:00 PM
It is too bad she lies, you don't know what to believe. Either way, this will effect your friendship. You have to ask yourself if this guy is worth it. Go out with him if you want. It may be a good idea to have a conversation with her about the effects of her lying

citygirlrst
May 8, 2012, 01:15 PM
Thank you, I'll try to talk to her again. I would rate your post as helpful but it won't let me.

Homegirl 50
May 8, 2012, 01:19 PM
I hope your talk with her is a productive one