BimmerGuy
May 7, 2012, 11:10 AM
I’m going to keep this REALLY dry and quick to get a few points across. The unabridged version might put you to sleep and be way too long!
Met a girl while out with some friends and we immediately hit it off. Like REALLY hit it off, cutting glances at each other, touching, joking, etc. We had a good couple weeks of texting/talking on the phone and I tell her I’d like to see her, she reciprocates. I travel to her city, we meet up Friday night (when we actually weren’t really planning on seeing each other that night because other friend plans) have drinks, have a great time and end up back at her place. We hangout, joke, talk and fool around a bit before I leave for my hotel at 2. We were if anything lightly buzzed after drinking a couple glasses of wine at her place.
Next day I pick her up midday we have an incredible time together doing some outdoorsy things finish up and want to continue for dinner. We head to my hotel so I can shower and change, we both cuddle and fall asleep for a 30 minute nap with her curled up into me, leave and pick up take-out, grab wine and a movie and head back to her place. Movie is too slow so we switch to TV and begin fooling around again this time going a little further. She recommends heading to her bed, clothes fly off, we’re really into each out, hands are “free” and she says she doesn’t want to have sex with me “the first time I sleep in her bed.” I respect that and tell her, we fool around some more, then my guy decides he doesn’t want to cooperate with her “generosity”, she feels this is a bad sign, I have to justify that I am REALLY into her, was just exhausted, nervous, etc (later find out from my doc a med for my shoulder injury from flag football has that “side effect”, awesome…). We fool around a little more, fall asleep with her on my chest/shoulder, she constantly moves her feet to find mine, legs intertwined, my arm around her, she holding onto me, etc. Wake up early and we sleep/cuddle as close as ever for a few hours before I had to leave and we finish with a few kisses and plans to get together in a couple weeks.
In the next week and a half, first call wasn’t returned (day I left as she asked me to call when I start driving home), second call (Wednesday) was returned with a text after 10 minutes asking if she could call me the next day or day after as she was at a work thing, I respond saying I’d be out of town I’d call her later that weekend as it would be easier. I call later that weekend, no response. I get a little annoyed but am told by a mutual friend she is pretty bad about returning calls no matter who it is and that she is one who likes to be pursued. I text Tuesday and get an immediate text back saying she was “the worst”, busy with work, hope I had a good weekend, she would call that night. She also mentions she has had something come up with work (sounds like BS but whatever) that weekend and can’t come down to meet me. I retort that I probably wouldn’t get to see her “pretty face” then and she dryly responds “probably not unless I can get out of it but the plan is for Saturday/Sunday.” She never calls. So I go by the “two touch” rule and try her early Friday and don’t hear anything, again...
So Saturday I meet up with some friends and met one of her friends she knows really well that lives in my city (who she usually stays with when she’s in town). We hang out all day, each mention how we know her, etc. Later that evening while we’re hanging out the friend mentions she talked to the girl coincidentally and she basically said “shoot, I need to call him!” when I was brought up. I pass it off, whatever she’ll call. Well later that night the group is out at a bar and a little after midnight she drops a ‘Sorry I’ve been distant, I’ve been thinking about things and don’t want to lead you on. You’re a great guy but I just don’t want to lead you on’ text bomb on me. I blow it off until after a couple more drinks (mistake I know) and quip back basically calling her out on the text after how things had gone prior, that you don’t make the unconscious remarks she made or naturally act that way or whatever but end with sincerely wishing her the best if that is how she really feels. Basically I said “Really? After that weekend and everything you’re going to pull this? Ok, if that is how you feel good luck with things, you’re a great girl.”
The next day after thinking about it I shot her an email to say that I should have really waited to respond, clarified a couple point in my text and basically said I don’t understand why you feel that way but I respect it, hope everything works out for you, you’re a good girl, etc.
So my question is, what the heck could have gone wrong? We had what I interpreted as an incredible time, we both were really into each other, it was easy, natural, etc. There weren’t any hesitations or really awkward moments at all. We both mentioned on separate occasions how “weird” it was that things were so easy and comfortable, each responded to the other’s glances answering with “just trying to figure you out”, had a million things in common and shared core values, she mentioned when I had my arm around her that I could probably “break her in half” (I’m not at ALL huge but I have an athletic build and work out?), etc. I’ve been on plenty of dates, good and bad and this just had a natural feel to it, an easy connection.
The only thing I can think is that I may have been too much too soon. Normally I’m not like that but it just felt easy and ‘right’ and it appeared pretty mutual especially since I was invited back both times, we hung out oddly like we’d been dating for a long time, etc. I do know she came out of a 6’ish year relationship 6 months prior (she initiated it) and that the guy moved near her and is constantly texting/calling her. According to friends she struggled with it but is ready to move on so maybe she was scared of something so easy so quick? Then again it could have just been me, I won’t doubt that, can’t please everyone!
I’m over this as I’m not one to get yanked around but wouldn’t mind learning from it and other people’s perspectives. Funny sometimes the things that feel the best aren’t and the questionable ones win out!
Met a girl while out with some friends and we immediately hit it off. Like REALLY hit it off, cutting glances at each other, touching, joking, etc. We had a good couple weeks of texting/talking on the phone and I tell her I’d like to see her, she reciprocates. I travel to her city, we meet up Friday night (when we actually weren’t really planning on seeing each other that night because other friend plans) have drinks, have a great time and end up back at her place. We hangout, joke, talk and fool around a bit before I leave for my hotel at 2. We were if anything lightly buzzed after drinking a couple glasses of wine at her place.
Next day I pick her up midday we have an incredible time together doing some outdoorsy things finish up and want to continue for dinner. We head to my hotel so I can shower and change, we both cuddle and fall asleep for a 30 minute nap with her curled up into me, leave and pick up take-out, grab wine and a movie and head back to her place. Movie is too slow so we switch to TV and begin fooling around again this time going a little further. She recommends heading to her bed, clothes fly off, we’re really into each out, hands are “free” and she says she doesn’t want to have sex with me “the first time I sleep in her bed.” I respect that and tell her, we fool around some more, then my guy decides he doesn’t want to cooperate with her “generosity”, she feels this is a bad sign, I have to justify that I am REALLY into her, was just exhausted, nervous, etc (later find out from my doc a med for my shoulder injury from flag football has that “side effect”, awesome…). We fool around a little more, fall asleep with her on my chest/shoulder, she constantly moves her feet to find mine, legs intertwined, my arm around her, she holding onto me, etc. Wake up early and we sleep/cuddle as close as ever for a few hours before I had to leave and we finish with a few kisses and plans to get together in a couple weeks.
In the next week and a half, first call wasn’t returned (day I left as she asked me to call when I start driving home), second call (Wednesday) was returned with a text after 10 minutes asking if she could call me the next day or day after as she was at a work thing, I respond saying I’d be out of town I’d call her later that weekend as it would be easier. I call later that weekend, no response. I get a little annoyed but am told by a mutual friend she is pretty bad about returning calls no matter who it is and that she is one who likes to be pursued. I text Tuesday and get an immediate text back saying she was “the worst”, busy with work, hope I had a good weekend, she would call that night. She also mentions she has had something come up with work (sounds like BS but whatever) that weekend and can’t come down to meet me. I retort that I probably wouldn’t get to see her “pretty face” then and she dryly responds “probably not unless I can get out of it but the plan is for Saturday/Sunday.” She never calls. So I go by the “two touch” rule and try her early Friday and don’t hear anything, again...
So Saturday I meet up with some friends and met one of her friends she knows really well that lives in my city (who she usually stays with when she’s in town). We hang out all day, each mention how we know her, etc. Later that evening while we’re hanging out the friend mentions she talked to the girl coincidentally and she basically said “shoot, I need to call him!” when I was brought up. I pass it off, whatever she’ll call. Well later that night the group is out at a bar and a little after midnight she drops a ‘Sorry I’ve been distant, I’ve been thinking about things and don’t want to lead you on. You’re a great guy but I just don’t want to lead you on’ text bomb on me. I blow it off until after a couple more drinks (mistake I know) and quip back basically calling her out on the text after how things had gone prior, that you don’t make the unconscious remarks she made or naturally act that way or whatever but end with sincerely wishing her the best if that is how she really feels. Basically I said “Really? After that weekend and everything you’re going to pull this? Ok, if that is how you feel good luck with things, you’re a great girl.”
The next day after thinking about it I shot her an email to say that I should have really waited to respond, clarified a couple point in my text and basically said I don’t understand why you feel that way but I respect it, hope everything works out for you, you’re a good girl, etc.
So my question is, what the heck could have gone wrong? We had what I interpreted as an incredible time, we both were really into each other, it was easy, natural, etc. There weren’t any hesitations or really awkward moments at all. We both mentioned on separate occasions how “weird” it was that things were so easy and comfortable, each responded to the other’s glances answering with “just trying to figure you out”, had a million things in common and shared core values, she mentioned when I had my arm around her that I could probably “break her in half” (I’m not at ALL huge but I have an athletic build and work out?), etc. I’ve been on plenty of dates, good and bad and this just had a natural feel to it, an easy connection.
The only thing I can think is that I may have been too much too soon. Normally I’m not like that but it just felt easy and ‘right’ and it appeared pretty mutual especially since I was invited back both times, we hung out oddly like we’d been dating for a long time, etc. I do know she came out of a 6’ish year relationship 6 months prior (she initiated it) and that the guy moved near her and is constantly texting/calling her. According to friends she struggled with it but is ready to move on so maybe she was scared of something so easy so quick? Then again it could have just been me, I won’t doubt that, can’t please everyone!
I’m over this as I’m not one to get yanked around but wouldn’t mind learning from it and other people’s perspectives. Funny sometimes the things that feel the best aren’t and the questionable ones win out!