OK, so throughout my life I've never had many friends, people just generally don't like me, even though I try to be nice to everyone. This is my first year of high school and at the start things seemed like I might turn my life around, but after a little while things went back to being the same. There was this girl I noticed for a while, and she always interested me for some reason, then a little while after the first semester we started talkoing because our two main friend groups kind of hungout, but we were the two quiet people so we never really talked for a long time. Once we did I really liked her, and we went for a couple walks and things were looking up, also she was absolutley gorgeous. We became very close friends, and I started to realise that she is a very different kind of person,lots of tragety in her life, and bad experiences have made her confused, and very fragile. She cried on my shoulder a lot. There was also another girl, who I have never talked to, but always smiles at me when I see her, and I smile back because it makes me feel a bit better. She also has a degenerative muscle disease which will slowly force her into a wheel chair. I feel very bad for her, and I admit I kind of like her as well. Wel call the first girl kirsten and the second brittany. So after a while I decided I wanted to ask out kirsten, even though she said her parents (evil step mom) don't let her date. And she's very afraid of her. Then the day I was going to ask her she tells me crying about this guy who recently broke her heart. So I held off asking her while she was so fragile, but then for some reason I did it anyway, which I knew was a bad idea, obviously she said no and now things are a little awkward between us, just a little thoug hwe try to hang out and stuff but its hard for me. Also one of my other few friends is one of her best friends, wel call her angel because she's very nice. She's dating this guy in my class who's got bad add and anger issues, he thinks me and angel are secretly lovers or something, so he's always really scary. He also likes kirsten, and kirsten doesn't understand that just because he's dating angel it doesn't mean he can't have feelings for her too, which I know he does, and I know he will try to act on becasuye he's to honest a real hole. There were a few weeks where kirsten and him would run off and "talk about stuff" and once they "wrestled". The day he tells me about this, he's like bragging because he knows I like her, and when I talked to kirsten about it, she didn't understand it was making angel mad, and she honestly thought they were just haviing fun, but I could tell from him that he enjoyed it a bit too much. I had nightmeres about it. Oh and he let her win, just to let you know, so shed be like on top of him. Anyway I tried to get us all together to talk about it, but him and kirsten never wanted to. So that never happened, and now everyone is kind of split up, and I feel like that's my fault. Getting back to the other problem, I feel like I need to help both kirsten and brittany, but I want to get close to them, but I can't get too close to both of them, and I don't want to lose anyone, and I don't like putting labels on things but I feel like if I had a girlfriend, it would make me feel a bit better about myself because for once there would be a constant in my life. Basically I need someon really close which I can't get from my family, or just another week long friendship. But I also don't want to lose anyone along the way, because that wouldn't be fixing anything. Also kirsten, brittany and angel are all older than me, so are all my friends now, because people my age don't respect me,
Then to top it all off, this is the year that one of my few friends deserted me, and another decided it was more important to make fun of me, and be with his "cool" friends than to stand up for me. I've giving up on him now.
My question is what should I do about travis and kirsten (travis is dating angel) and kirsten and birttany.
I've been depressed for about two years now, because I'm realising just how terrible everything seems to be, and have had lots of thoughts of suicide, and lots of other bad stuff, like cutting and stuff like that, but that's not the issue. Could that change the way I'm looking at all this?
Thanks
Lukas

Ps since this thing doesn't let me pick more than one category it will also fall into dating and teens.

Okay so my new best friend just took Kirsten, no one needs to bother with this question anymore I guess, better off alone anyway