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View Full Version : Have to make a HUGE decision about my situation with a girl, Please help me!


eiaso
May 4, 2012, 10:14 AM
I'm an exchange student from Norway who went to high school in the states this year. And after Christmas I met this perfect (in my opinion) girl from Thailand. We are both juniors, so we both have another year of high school. The year is coming to an end in 2 weeks, and she is coming back to this school next year, but my parents said I have to come back to Norway for my senior year, because it is too expensive to go here for another year.

I have been dating this girl lately, and we went to prom together. She is to me the most perfect girl I have ever met/seen and she likes me back, but she says she is not ready for a real relationship. I have been extremely sad lately, since I know that after this year I might never see her again, because she lives in Thailand and I live in Norway. But at the same time I'm thinking, there is no f*... ing way I'm just going to let this go, I have to do something about it! She is the only one that makes me smile, since I'm usually not a very happy dude. Every time she smiles I just want to cry because she is so unbelievably cute and beautiful. She smiles and laughs a lot so I love being with her, but if I don't do something in the next 2 weeks, it will probably be over forever, and I just can't take that. I just feel like I don't want anything else anymore, she is the only one I want.

I have been in several relationships before, but I have never felt this right about a girl, not even close. I don't like this girl because of boobs or stuff like that (cause she really doesn't have that), I like her because she is the cutest girl I have ever seen, she is the best friend I have ever had, she is the only one I care about (my family will always be there anyways), she is the only one that really makes me smile, and because she just simply makes me happy. I have been thinking about trying to go to the same college as her, and maybe visiting her in the summer or something, but I need a more certain solution.

I have a date with her next Wednesday, and I don't know what to tell her. So far she only knows I like her, but she has NO idea how much and how serious I am about it. Please, if there is anyone out there who is good with stuff like this, or anyone who has been in a similar situation, please help me! :(

puccini
May 4, 2012, 10:36 AM
"but she has NO idea how much and how serious i am about it"

That would be a place to start. If you do not tell her you will likely regret it and always wonder. She has said she is not ready for a serious relationship but you won't know for sure if she is interested unless you ask her and explain how you feel. Don't let fear of rejection stand in your way, its part of life, we all get rejected one way or another in life. And if she says yes then I guess, you have a problem, but an exciting one. The not knowing is likely to stick with you for far longer than any rejection, I would suggest.

Good luck.

talaniman
May 4, 2012, 12:32 PM
Go for it, and hope for the best, and plan for the worst. That's better than making a bunch of plans on high hopes, and NO FACTS!!

You really could use more things besides a female to make you a happier dude though, just saying!

eiaso
May 4, 2012, 04:25 PM
I will tell her everything after our date on Wednesday. But I'm going to play it safe and only ask her that if manage to come back next year, if there is a chance we can have a relationship. Cause since she is kind of careful (since she has never been in a relationship before) I don't want to put too much pressure on her. If I tell her that if she says no I will never be happy again, I'm afraid I will be putting too much pressure on her and just end up making her feel very uncomfortable. So that's what I'm going to do, what do you guys think? If she says yes, I'm just going to have to explain everything to my parents and hope they understand. If she says no, I'm just going to have to let it go (even though I'm never going to forget it and it probably will take years for me to get over).

talaniman
May 4, 2012, 08:13 PM
I can't really stand to see a young guy run head first into a brick wall. But something's are best done first hand.

eiaso
May 4, 2012, 08:28 PM
Really guys? I am not interested in answers like that, either help me and give me some advice, or don't answer. I Know I sound desperate and stupid, but I just can't help it. My feelings for her are just too strong, nothing I can do to stop it (and I don't want to either)

bayo9
May 6, 2012, 07:12 PM
Man I'm in the same situation. I'm Canadian and I met this girl from Chile (she's an exchange student) and I feel same. I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm not normally a cheery guy and when she's around I feel happy. But she's leaving in July.

I think you should tell her how you feel ( I know that sound cheesy and corny) but do it. Make sure she knows and hope she feels the same

Good luck man hope it works out

puccini
May 7, 2012, 02:48 AM
As I am sure you realise, from your description, you are idealising somewhat, as (it appears) you are not in a relationship with her yet. The reality, I'm sure, will be different to what you expect. Also, we are limited by our imagination, just because we cannot imagine being happy with someone else does not mean to say that we cannot (it is extremely unlikely to not be the case): you couldn't imagine her before you met her, and you certainly can be OK if things don't work out. If you do get the opportunity try to dissuade yourself form thinking: I'll never be happy with anyone else. While it might make you highly attentive, but also, perhaps a little too anxious (in my opinion,). Anyhow, hopefully you will figure it out. And remember even if she says no, she clearly liked you otherwise she wouldn't have dated you. Circumstances may not be right and she has indicated she isn't ready. Good luck, but go for it.

eiaso
May 7, 2012, 10:17 AM
Thanks man, I will tell her. ;)

eiaso
May 7, 2012, 10:18 AM
I see your point, but its just really hard. I don't want it to be like this, it just is.

mmresd
May 7, 2012, 11:00 AM
I will give you a very straight answer.

You need to let this fantasy go. You don't know if she is sharing the same feelings you are, or at least at the same level, and even if she did you are still under your parents' rule. They are your sponsors, and to them I believe you owe them to finish your schooling. You need to learn to prioritize your life a little better, women come and go, and no matter how in love you may feel right now, you will get over it in the future. Let her go, focus on your school and let her do the same. This may not be what you imagine it to be buddy, and if you make such a critical decision, the consecuences could be pretty bad.

puccini
May 7, 2012, 01:08 PM
Well good luck on Wednesday. Let us know how it turns out. I'd prefer not to die wondering - and if you get turned down, well it happens to us all - nothing to fear.

eiaso
May 7, 2012, 04:17 PM
I will give you a very straight answer.

You need to let this fantasy go. You don't know if she is sharing the same feelings you are, or at least at the same level, and even if she did you are still under your parents' rule. They are your sponsors, and to them I believe you owe them to finish your schooling. You need to learn to prioritize your life a little better, women come and go, and no matter how in love you may feel right now, you will get over it in the future. Let her go, focus on your school and let her do the same. This may not be what you imagine it to be buddy, and if you make such a critical decision, the consecuences could be pretty bad.

Well, I still have to try. And dude, no matter what we do we are still finishing our schooling. High school in Norway and High School in the states is the same thing. I just don't feel happy anymore without her. After Wednesday, I will be sure to let you guys know how it turned out. If it doesn't work out though, don't expect me to tell you right away, cause I will probably be extremely sad (too sad to do anything) for a while, if not months/years. I just don't know...