I adopted my wives grand baby 1 year ago. We lived together for 11 months and now we are getting a divorce. Should I be financially responsible if I gave up rights? She used me!!

I do not think you can give up your rights except as a court order, but you will still be responsible financially until a court changes it.

You cannot just walk away from a child just because you're getting a divorce. Adoption is PERMANENT.

Would you walk away from a biological child just because you were getting a divorce? If so, you're a horrid example of a human being. If not--this child IS YOURS! You CHOSE the child in adoption. You don't get to walk away just because you're not getting along with the child's mother anymore.

Get a lawyer, go to court, and get partial custody. You chose to adopt this child, now take the responsibilities that go with that.

Getting an adoption is not easy. The courts want to be sure you are committed to the child. So once granted an adoption is even more difficult to overturn.

The child is your legal child just as if it was a natural child. You will be responsible for support just the same as a natural child. You can't "give up rights", only a court can terminate rights.

The only recourse you might have is if you can prove fraud.

Children are not pets. You cannot get rid of them once you adopt them like you can a dog.

You accepted legal responsibility of this child at one point in time, you must continue to take responsibility now. Time to grow up and face reality.

You are the legal father, just as if you had given birth, you will be paying child support on this child. NO there is no way out of it, This should have been a though before you adopted the child.

When you adopted the child, you were swearing to the court that you truly loved the child and would treat the child as your own.

So if you really love the child, you would want visits, even joint custody of the child so that you remain part of the child's life. So did you lie to the court, did you lie to the child. Is your anger at your soon to be ex, making you want to take it out on a child ?

First of all it's not HER child it is her grandchild and now YOUR child. To me that indicate you as being the father and her being the grandmother even though she is your wife. Therefore wouldn't you have full custody of the child and have the right to either allow a loving childless couple to adopt the child or sad to say drop the child off at a fire station, church, etc. like the mothers can do, no questions asked or does this not apply to fathers too? I don't know, I'm asking the other responders. I hope you might change your mind especially if the baby has bonded with you and you the baby, that is, if you have been a loving, kind and patient father.

First of all it's not HER child it is her grandchild and now YOUR child. To me that indicate you as being the father and her being the grandmother even though she is your wife.

We really don't know what the relationship here was. I doubt if a husband would be allowed to adopt the wife's grandchild, if she didn't have full custody or had adopted.


Therefore wouldn't you have full custody of the child and have the right to either allow a loving childless couple to adopt the child

The "mother" would still have say as to an adoption. We don't know how old the child is so what the viability is of an adoption.


or sad to say drop the child off at a fire station, church, etc., like the mothers can do, no questions asked or does this not apply to fathers too?

Safe harbor laws refer to birth parents of infants.

We really don't know what the relationship here was. I doubt if a husband would be allowed to adopt the wife's grandchild, if she didn't have full custody or had adopted.[/QUOTE

Yes, even though he identified his wife as the grandmother, more than likely she is the legal mother, as you pointed out. He did identify the child as his son so I believe he is aware of his paternal roll at this time, assuming he actually did adopt the child. As you pointed out also, his only recourse seems to be a fraud issue which he did state, “She used me” if that indicates fraud and proving it.


[QUOTE]The "mother" would still have say as to an adoption. We don't know how old the child is so what the viability is of an adoption.

Yes, as stated above the legal mother could be the maternal grandmother as well.
He did identify the child as a "baby" and older children are adopted as well.
I do not understand the meaning of the term "viability" regarding the age of a child being adopted.



Safe harbor laws refer to birth parents of infants.

I think you meant to write, "Safe Haven Laws" and as I now see it does not apply in this case anyway, even though there is a law for exploited children called "Safe Harbor Laws."

I do not understand the meaning of the term "viability" regarding the age of a child being adopted.


As a child gets older their chances for adoption become reduced. Couples want infants or very young children.

And yes I did mean Safe Haven. When I composed that response my wife was watching a move called Safe Harbor. Must have been on my mind.

As a child gets older their chances for adoption become reduced. Couples want infants or very young children.[QUOTE]

Now I understand even though I wouldn't have an issue of adopting or becoming legal guardian to an older child and I have.

LQUOTE]And yes I did mean Safe Haven. When I composed that response my wife was watching a move called Safe Harbor. Must have been on my mind.

Oh yeah, I've watched that movie a couple of times, if it's about a couple having a boat and taking on older troubled boys. I think it was based on a true story.

Thanks.

I adopted my wives grand baby 1 year ago. We lived together for 11 months and now we are getting a divorce. Should I be financially responsible if I gave up rights? She used me!!!

dcranch,

Your statement that you adopted your wife's grandbaby 1 year ago and only lived together for 11 months... does this mean you became the father of the child before you became the husband of the child's grandmother? Did you adopt and marry near the same time frame? Also, wouldn't you be filing for an annulment if fraud is an issue?

My question, if the marriage was a fraud would that also make the "adoption" invalid?