I am really disturbed as it has been long time, since we did not have any sex, as I have been in the family way and now we have a baby boy, blessed by Almighty. Now, when we had sex regularly, my hubby was always keeping the pubes shaved off, but now when his organ has been idle (?) as I could not give him sexual company, he has grown his pubes, so much so that he can make a knot by holding a rubber around it. He is hesitant to cut it now, but in the light, which we keep on, due to the little child, his pubes look so bad to me. How can I convince him to trim or shave it off? Are pubes useful or exciting him in any way? What can be the reasons that he does not trim these now? Can someone help on the basis of biological, psychological or other knowledge of experience?

Most men do not shave their public hair, perhaps you live in a nation or culture where they do.
Some men do for various reasons. It is really his choice.

Thanks for reply Fr_Chuck, but I would like to emphasize that I like pubes of my fellow cut, as grown up pubes really look bad and disturb or interfere in the sexual intercourse. Not? A smooth and shaved pubic area gives a nice look and gives pleasure to me while rubbing my hands against that area. Not? What should I do to convince him to go for a trim or shave of pubes.

I also would like some ladies or girls to share their views.

Your preference and many women prefer the more hair the better as it is "manly" to them.
I know few men at least in the US area ( can see at gyms and swimming areas from changing rooms) that I have seen very few men here that shave here.

Again, you can tell him what you prefer, but same as if he wanted you to change something about you, we have to learn to accept the others as they are.

I have talked to him but every time I ask or request him to 'trim' he says sure he will do it tomorrow, but when I meet him in the evening, and in the dark, I take my hand there I find pubes having same disturbing length. My friend said that some lads masturbate by rubbing hand against pubes and if that area is shaved, the chances of self-masturbation decrease. Is there any truth in that? What if I myself 'trim' his pubes? You say that he has his own choice. YEAH, but suppose he asks me to grow my hair, I shall follow him, and if he says I should keep shoulder-length hair, I follow him. If he says I should go for a trim, I do so, but if he likes to see me in bobs, I go for the same. So, why he does not follow me?

Again, I shall like the females to give their preferences and views...

I have talked to him but everytime I ask or request him to 'trim' he says sure he will do it tomorrow, but when I meet him in the evening, and in the dark, I take my hand there I find pubes having same disturbing length. My friend said that some lads masturbate by rubbing hand against pubes and if that area is shaved, the chances of self-masturbation decrease. Is there any truth in that? What if I myself 'trim' his pubes? You say that he has his own choice. YEAH, but suppose he asks me to grow my hair, I shall follow him, and if he says I should keep shoulder-length hair, I follow him. If he says I should go for a trim, I do so, but if he likes to see me in bobs, I go for the same. So, why he does not follow me?

Again, I shall like the females to give their preferences and views...


Please don't attempt to dictate who will or will not answer your questions. If you want only females to respond find a site which is open only to females. Your request is insulting to FrChuck, one of the most respected members of AMHD. You welcome people to this "beautiful site." You should know that FrChuck is active and respected.

Your husband doesn't follow your orders because he's an adult person who doesn't have to follow your orders. Maybe you are obligated to follow his. I don't know.

My husband doesn't dictate my hair style or length, and I don't control his personal choices, either.

People have preferences - shaved or not shaved, trimmed or not trimmed. The most you can do is talk to him about it. Maybe he has issues with sex with you after the birth of a child and this is his way of avoiding intercourse. Ask him. You want to know if you can trim his "pubes". How do you intend to do that if that's not what he wants? I suppose you could play "beauty parlor" and the trim would be part of that, but I don't know that you have time for that in your marriage. He's already said no to the trim. Why are you pushing the subject?

I'm not sure this isn't a question about a culture I don't understand.

If you want to know if he's allowing his "pube hair" to grow long because it plays a part when he masturbates, ask him that.

While you don't want guys to answer, ( assume you want women to just agree with you and not hear how men feel) But he also may be tired of you telling him how to do it, how you want him to keep his body. He may even want to trim them but is not just to prove a point he does not have to.

No, men think little of trimming public hair, and it has little effect on self pleasure. Most that trim either do it as a fad or for skinny swim wear to go public in. Beyond that the rest often just have a fetish about shaving.

while you don't want guys to answer, ( assume you want women to just agree with you and not hear how men feel) But he also may be tired of you telling him how to do it, how you want him to keep his body. He may even want to trim them but is not just to prove a point he does not have to.

No, men think little of trimming public hair, and it has little effect on self pleasure. Most that trim either do it as a fad or for skinny swim wear to go public in. Beyond that the rest often just have a fetish about shaving.


Personally I'm too busy controlling other aspects of my life to control my husband's pubic hair.

And this IS a question about control!

Perhaps, too much information, but I used to trim, and I got to say it-while growing back out it itches like crazy. Rather than enduring this very uncomfortable itching every couple weeks I decided to go au natural, unless I find I must in order to wear a swimsuit.
My boyfriend (can you call grown men boyfriends?) says nothing of it, he loves ME.
Perhaps it's as simple as the fact that he doesn't miss the uncomfortableness that comes with it.

Hi Kahani Punjab,

I have never given it any thought as my first husband didn't do it, and neither does my current husband. I am not aware of any of the men I know that do (not something I would ask!) Perhaps some might, but I don't know about it. Personally, I don't think that I would find it all that appealing actually.

I can understand your situation since it was what you were use to, what you find appealing and pleasurable, and perhaps now hearing that it somehow enhances masturbation (never heard of that and I don't see how it would) causes you some concern as well.

Is it more that you are feeling upset that he knows this would please you and he is not doing so?

Maybe he has been too busy. Maybe he does find it more comfortable as LadySam mentioned. Maybe he just doesn't want to do it anymore because it was time consuming and a bother to keep up with.

Ask if there was any particular reason that he stopped and whether he wants to leave it as it is. It really is up to him. If he does choose to take care of it, offer to help. Who knows, it could become an intimate time that you both end up enjoying.

I am thankful to all of you for the replies. That's why I gave GREENIES to all of the persons, or members who have taken pains to reply to me or my query. I want to clarify here again that I asked ladies to give preferences, but in no way, I want the men not to reply. Their reaction and their replies and their suggestions are sought and will also be appreciated by me, for sure. I am so so so grateful to Fr_Chuck sir. About my hubby's pubes, he minces no words about it, but he asks me about it, as to how it looks, and how I feel while touching these. Actually, he also says (I do not know if it is the reality or he is saying to please me or for the sake of saying or he has some sort of fetish and tries to satiate his feelings by talking about it to me) that he will surely trim it once I become able to do sex as due to Caesarian operation I can't help her in sexual pleasure by offering her my vagina. But, I asked him to trim it for the time being too, as when I touch his organ, my hand gets on the pubes and it feels bad, and when (as the light is on, everyday) I look at the organ, it looks hairy and shaggy, and this is something which I am not used to as I have always seen it neat and clean and shaved.

JudyKayTee - I agree with you when you say that he might be fearing that pubeshave can excite both of us and this will result into sex and conception can take place, and it is really a good point, as you have reflected from a very different and authentic angle, but I am sure this is not the angle, as I enquried about it from him and he says NO, we will do sex and even daily he pleads to me but I say NO. I would also like to know if he never asks you to style hair in a particular way and never wants a particular length. Do you have long hair or short, and may be he likes the way you trim or style your hair? Can I know what hairlength and style do you keep. If you have fairly well and heroine or model-like haircut or style, why would he dictate terms? Not?

... About my hubby's pubes, he minces no words about it, but he asks me about it, as to how it looks, and how I feel while touching these. Actually, he also says (I do not know if it is the reality or he is saying to please me or for the sake of saying or he has some sort of fetish and tries to satiate his feelings by talking about it to me) that he will surely trim it once I become able to do sex as due to Caesarian operation I can't help her in sexual pleasure by offering her my vagina. ... JudyKayTee - I agree with you when you say that he might be fearing that pubeshave can excite both of us and this will result into sex and conception can take place, and it is really a good point, as you have reflected from a very different and authentic angle, but I am sure this is not the angle, as I enquried about it from him and he says NO, we will do sex and even daily he pleads to me but I say NO. I would also like to know if he never asks you to style hair in a particular way and never wants a particular length. Do you have long hair or short, and may be he likes the way you trim or style your hair? Can I know what hairlength and style do you keep. If you have fairly well and heroine or model-like haircut or style, why would he dictate terms? Not?


This part is very confusing - " he will surely trim it once I become able to do sex as due to Caesarian operation I can't help her in sexual pleasure by offering her my vagina" "I can help HER ... Her my vagina ..." ?

You misunderstood what I meant - I meant is he using his "pubes" as a reason to AVOID having sex with you for whatever reason? The way a man looks at his wife can and often does following childbirth. I did not mean he would become so excited he would be out of control.

I fail to see what my hair and choice of style has to do with anything but for the sake of answering you - my hair is very blonde, long (past my shoulders), naturally wavy, thick. I wear it in a ponytail if that's MY preference. I wear it up if that's MY preference. I normally wear it down. I would assume my husband likes my hair because he's never commented to the contrary.

As far as directing what your partner does or doesn't do - I like my husband with a beard or goatee. He doesn't. I would never pressure him or for that matter ask him to grow a beard or goatee again. It's his face.

I married him, not his goatee, not his beard, not his pubic hair.

Not answering questions which are asked, posting again, repeating the same question - all of these are making me uneasy.

I think your obsession with your husband's pubic hair is unhealthy. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/beauty/what-maximum-size-pubes-657744.html#post3113136

Am I not understanding Indian culture?