My daughter is 2.5 and I have had full 100% physical and legal custody of her since February 2010. Her father last year became very hostile and I filled for a restraining order, when were together 2.5 years ago we had domestic violence. I received contionuse extensions of the restraing order for about 9 months because he was very good at avoiding being served. I went through the sheriffs department and the cooperative restraing order clinic and neither were able to serve him. Now I no longer have the temporary restraing order because they told me they couldn't keep extending it. My daughter has not seen him in over a year but I worry. I have moved, changed my phone number, changed my car so that he won't be able to find us. Thouugh he has visitation rights still on the custody papers how can I remove this without him finding where we live? And can he argue it? Can he fight for partial custody if I already have 100 full physical and legal I don't want to open the door for him to take her. In the original custody papers we did not have a hearing because he signed it and agreed to give me 100 of the custody. I do not even know his address I only know his mothers and a minor nephew of his. That I know of he doesn't work even if he does I wouldn't know were. I have not spoken to him since February of 2011 when things began to escalte. I also intend on moving to southern California for my school is their a way he can find out were? Do I have to tell him,I wouldn't even know how? I also don't have a child support case would opening one lead him to know were we are? He also did drugs does that make any difference? We are currently in san francisco ca. I am graduating this Summer with an AS and AA but I'm currently on public assistance would this be held against me? Can he say I'm unfit parent because of it?
\Thank You

I believe the right person can find anyone - unless you're in the Federal Witness Protection Program... and even then it happens. Does he have the resources or the smarts to find you? I don't know. I also don't know why nobody can find him.

If you have a Court Order that says you cannot leave the State or move more than X miles away, then you need the Court's permission to make the move.

So - go BACK to Court and ask for an Order that he be served at his mother's house. That happens all the time. It's substitute service. I do it. Other servers do it. The problem is - then he'll know your plans.

Yes, filing for support provides him with your address. You haven't filed in 2-1/2 years?

You aren't unfit because you're on Public Assistance. I'm surprised Public Assistance hasn't forced you to locate and collect from him - very surprised.

... I have had full 100% physical and legal custody of her ...Thouugh he has visitation rights still on the custody papers how can I remove this without him finding where we live? ...
First, you're contradicting yourself slightly. If you have full 100% physical custody, that implies he has no visitation rights.

It seems that you could ask the court to terminate his visitation if you filed the motion through an attorney. That way wouldn't requre that your mailing address be given (He would have a right to send his response, if any to your attorney).

But I am compelled to comment: although it is not clear that this is the case, if he has visitiation rights and you have hidden from him while knowing how to contact him, arguably you are in contempt of court for denying him his visitation.


... ...I also dont have a child support case would opening one lead him to know were we are? ...

No. The child support agency can usually pursue CS without having to disclose the custodial parent's whereabouts.

The way you remove his visitation rights is prove that he have not paid you any CS and have not visited with the child voluntarily for 6 or more months. The catch 22 is you must not deny the visitation. The failure to comply with the visitation must be on his part alone. Yes, he will know your whereabouts. Also, if there is a court order providing him visitation then you must comply or you are in contempt.

The way you remove his visitation rights is prove that he have not paid you any CS and have not visited with the child voluntarily for 6 or more months. The catch 22 is you must not deny the visitation. The failure to comply with the visitation must be on his part alone. Yes, he will know your whereabouts. Also, if there is a court order providing him visitation then you must comply or you are in contempt.


Which State are you addressing?