I am 20 years old and I am thinking about moving out of my moms house and living on my own. My mother got divorced from my father when I was 4 because of physical abuse, and me my sister and brother had no contact with him until recently. Ever since my mom had her first boyfriend after the divorce she has always put guys before me and my siblings.

The first guy she dated was okay but she would make us sleep at his house on weekdays and then wake us up super early to go to school the next morning... he ended up using her for money and he didn't last.

Shortly after that happened she started seeing another guy and me and my siblings did not like him from the start. She let him live with us and he started making us do chores... if we forgot to do the dishes he would wake us up at 4am to wash them on school nights and my mom wouldn't defend us.

My sister is 6 years older and at the time she was about 18 and they were arguing about what time she was coming home at and he kicked her out and threw her on the ice an yet again my mom just stood there.

My mom finally stood up to him and let my sister back in the house and he went to live somewhere else but he would still show up and try to run our household. He used to stalk us to school if him and my mom were not talking... he would try to ask us questions about where she might be.

They started a business together and I remember a lot of the times being alone with my little brother (one year younger) we would wait for her to come home but she wouldn't come... my sister used to stay out with friends a lot so we ended up making dinner alone at a young age.

After years of this she finally broke up with him for good and we never see him anymore. But now we are older now and she recently started seeing a different guy... she stays at his place almost 5 times a week and I have no problem with that but I overheard her talking to my sister and she was saying she's going to move out and everyone has to find their own place...

I got angry because this kind of thing has been happening my entire life. I have lived with friends and cousins most of my teenage life because of my mom and her guys. When I confronted her she said that we should all fend for ourselves...
I am going to school and she knows I couldn't possibly afford to live alone, but my sister and her daughter could.

I openly told her if that's the case then she can never talk to me again... I am completely serious, I didn't deserve the way she treated me and I have tried to forgive but here she goes doing it again. I am so tired of feeling pushed aside whenever a new guy comes into her life and I'm thinking about leaving in September...

I don't know how I'm going to afford it but if she thinks this is the right thing then I will do so... do you think I should write a note saying that I am no longer going to speak to you if you go through with what you said or should I just wait until it happens...

My mother is the same way.. she ALWAYS loved her boyfriends more than her kids.. I'm in my late 30's and she has never changed. I asked her to do something with me for the day and when I got there she asked me if I can drive her boyfriend to the liquor store I said no.. Which I have every right to do.. and went crazy and said FINE I will drive him and got out of the car.. its discusting I have so many more stories to tell.. but if I were you I would stay in school the best you can get your education and walk away from your mother.. don't let her IN your life you can still be civil but keep your distance.. BELIEVE ME when I tell you when she is older and ALL the boyfriends are gone she is going to look at her kids for help... I would say to my mother.. wheres your boyfriend? Best think you can do is get up and walk away I hope you have somewhere to go to.. good luck..

The same thing is going on right now with my mom... I'm 13...

Her ex was the worst but her current guy isn't good either. She would go out on school nights and leave me to watch her baby(my little brother) and my other siblings till 4am, and I would fall asleep in school.

She would always say that it's my responsibility as the oldest, but soon I noticed that it was too much. I would get stressed quickly and burst in tears over tiny things, like breaking the last hair-tie I had, or one of the kids losing their shoe.

I love my mom, so much, but it just isn't enough it seems. I'm always there after her and the guy are done, no matter how much it hurts to be pushed aside. She lets her guys control us, run everything. It was so much that I moved across the country to love with my dad, but that didn't work because my Dad was a womanbeater.

I moved back with my mom and thought things would be better. That she would realize how much she needed me. But things are the same. I get so stressed, I watch the kids all the time and it really wears me out. I will be in school and instead of focusing on what I should be, I will be worrying about what I was going to make for dinner that night.


I hope it will get better, but it doesn't seem very likely. If I were you, I would move out, and not speak to my mom. I know its not cool to take advice from a 13 year old, but that's what I would do. But when she needs me, I will be there. Im masochistic I guess.