I don't know what's going on with me. I've always been a good kid. I've always been nice and caring. But lately I've had a really short fuse and I've made my mom cry multiple times. I don't mean to be so mean. I just get so angry and even small things could set me off. I love my girlfriend, but I've caused so many arguments with her. Honestly, I've tried suicide twice, but luckily I failed. I know I have a purpose, but it feels like I'm going insane. It feels like I'm two different people. I'm 15. Please help.

Hello there young man. I have been there, angry all the time, hurting the ones you love. You always hurt the ones closest to you when your angry, I have to - to this day work on keeping my emotions in check. Always think about the words you are going to say because they are like a double edge sword and you can never take them back. You are 15 and your body is going through so many changes. Is there someone that you can reach out to, do you go to church if you do Im sure there is someone there willing to reach out to you. I tried to take my life in front of my two kids, my boy was 13 and my daughter was only 3, I was screaming for help, so glad I did not succeed. God had a different plan for me. Please young man reach out for help, there is someone for you to talk to you just have to find them. Its hard - Life... can throw you some curve balls some times. Here is a quote for you (It's not what I have been through in my life that defines who I am, it's how I got through it that has made me the person I am today. You obviously want help or you would not be on this web site. I pray that you reach out and the right person will come in to your life.
About your Mom... you only have one treat her with respect. Count to 10 if you have to before you speak especially when your angry. If you do not have a bible I encourage you to get one and read proverbs it can help you see just how a good person should live their life.
You can do it. You sound like a very smart and caring young man, Take Care Of yourself and get some help.
I hope that I have helped.

Thank you. I've tried to talk to people, they've put me on medication but I ended up abusing it. I also have some drug problems. I drink and smoke all the time. I feel like I'm at peace when I'm drunk. It makes me smile and laugh. I know it's hurting me, as I only have one kidney. I had cancer when I was two and they said I have a high chance of getting other cancers. My dad left me when I was 3. He never paid child support. Could that be part of my anger? I've heard about suppressed emotions, but I don't know.

I remember my teenage days. It seems that everyone who grows old would love the chance to become young again, but I don't think I'll ever find myself wishing to be a teenager again. Terrible years... This is a very turbulent time in your life, you have the mental capacity of an adult, yet the restrictions of a child. The situations that this causes are extensively stressful, not to mention the raging fluctuation of hormones in your body, along with being surrounded every day by people who are in the same turbulent life cycles as yourself.
When I hit puberty, my bi-polar mother was hitting menopause. Fun times! I always escaped the rage and pain through writing. I diligently kept a diary from 13-18, and I swear it kept me sane. I wrote everything. If I wanted to cuss someone out, I'd do it in the diary. If I wanted to harm myself, I'd write about it and that would seem to allow me to vent it out, rather than act it out. 22 here now, and I got through it. Hang in there and try to keep your perspective positive. :) hope this helped

Your welcome... Oh honey you have a full plate and plenty to be angry about. Here's the thing... Is it going to help you by being angry is it going to change any thing in your life? Using and abusing drugs and drinking with only one kidney can only lead you down one path way (DEATH) and your way tooooo young for that. One of my very good friends did that to herself. I self medicated myself for close to 30 years. DID NOT help me one bit. We all have some kind of crap in our lives to deal with some more than others. Is life unfair.. sometimes... It is what we make of it. My dad (the man who raised me cause I have NEVER even seen a picture of my bio-dad) use to tell me "If you don't like something in your life than change it because your the only one that can" and he's right. If you want help to not feel crappy anymore than find the help. It is out there. They may not tell you what you want to hear but it maybe what you need to hear. Seek professional help for these emotions, and I really like the last post someone wrote you about keeping a journal it is a great way to vent your feelings. Oh my when I read some of the things I wrote when I was using.. holy cow... I couldn't believe I was even in that mind set.. But we all get off track now and again. We have to pick ourselves back up get back on that horse and keep on riding. Its life... OK...
Take Care