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View Full Version : I have a dad who likes attention.


Stellaw
Mar 27, 2012, 10:49 AM
He has money and his employees are super nice to him. He treats his children as I don't know. I can't even describe it. He always scolds us even if we don't do anything wrong. I know everyone likes the attention but I just can't deal with him anymore. I moved out of the house but I work for him and he's training me to be a hotelier even though he's new at the business. I think I have more knowledge on how to run a hotel than him but he has THE MONEY and I don't. People at the office are treating me like an employee even though I'm the eldest child of the owner and soon-to-be their boss. They keep on kissing my dad and my dad likes it. It's so annoying. Help. He's very traditional and we have been disciplined since we were kids. My 2 younger brothers now are very frightened of him. One time, my dad told my brothers not to hang out with me anymore because I was a bad influence to them. My dad thinks maybe my brothers would follow my footsteps of being a late comer to the office and sometimes I have absences. I work from 8 am tntil 6pm and he didn't even give me a car even though he can afford it. He's the worst dad ever. He makes me take the bus even if it's raining. He won't even give me cab fare allowance even though I manage both our hotel and bakeshop businesses. He's the cheapest man alive, you know like Krusty Krab. He gives me compensation but it's like charity. I mean donations to church are far more greater than my salary. I hate him. I love him. I feel like I'm about to cry right now. So many expectations. I want to earn my own money so I won't have to deal with him anymore. But if I leave the office, his girlfriend might take away our money. I won't be able to look after our business and his girlfriend who's younger than me is so full of herself. She thinks she's the owner of our businesses. I can't stand it. She's nothing. She's just a girl from a garbage can. I had 3 stepmothers already. My dad always force women into my life. I'm sick of it. Why can't he even make his family the priority? I kept praying for him to change but my prayers went unanswered. I just wish I won the lottery so my dad could be proud of me. I'm living on a house that he bought and sometimes he drops by here at our neighborhood and screams at the top of his lungs "You act like you're rich." It really hurts my feelings. Because it's all about money to him. I keep on thinking if I'll have children of my own, I would treat them the way my dad treated me and my brother so I could have revenge.

alkalineangel
Mar 27, 2012, 11:50 AM
I'm sorry, I'm really trying to determine if this is trolling or not. But if it smells of troll, it typically is, but just in case...

In one of your previous posts, you mention that you are 28 years old. And here it sounds like you are whining because your wealthy father is making his almost 30 year old child (sorry I can't tell if you are male or female from your post, but I am assuming male) actually work for a living instead of giving you everything you ask for. Am I right?

I mean I understand your frustrations with your father on an emotional level, but come on, do you really think the world works this way? That fathers are required to buy their children homes and cars simply because they can afford them? That you can arrive late for work or not come in at all, and it is OK?

It sounds to me like he is trying to teach his extremely spoiled child that he has to work for things in life. That higher positions (such as management) are earned and not just handed to a person. You re being treated like an employee, because at this point, that is exactly what you are. The same as the others.

It sounds like he is trying to teach you the way of the real world. People ride buses in the rain because work doesn't stop just because it is raining. Cabs are too expensive when there are other means of public transit.

And I really hope you are joking about the future kids thing, because that is just sick. It sounds to me, like he was protecting your siblings from seeing what an overly spoilt child looks like.

As for the thoughts on your stepmother, or his girlfriend, or whatever. How about you man up and discuss these feelings with him?

Wondergirl
Mar 27, 2012, 11:57 AM
Stellaw has also posted, "My wife pairs hers with a belted shift dress and I like it. She wears dark brown and ecru eyeshadow and just some lip glass to really make her face look polished but not trashy."

Please tell us more about yourself so we can more accurately respond to your post.

Stellaw
Mar 27, 2012, 12:22 PM
What I don't like is how my dad's secretary would check my computer screen to see what I'm working on. I mean, do I have to be worried if she finds out I'm answering questions here at askmehelpdesk rather than doing paperworks? I still don't have work ethics until now and you're right alkalineangel I'm spoiled. I don't like how my dad runs the business. Do you know that I manage the employees of both the hotel and bakeshop? I also do the accounting of the daily income of the hotel. The accounting of the bakeshop? Are you kidding? We have so many customers small and big grocery stores and markets. Do you want to know what else I do? I encode payments both at the hotel, the bar, and the bakeshop and encode guest folios for each guest even though I never met them downstairs. There are front desk officers but my dad wants me to work on encoding to another computer program everything that transpires daily. I also type and gather data to print as statements of account at our bakeshop. Did I mention that we have a lot of customers? So, that's a statement of account every week for all the customers. There's like 80 different stores on Monday, 100 on Tuesday, and so on and that's every week. To get to my point.. My dad is cheap. He makes me do everything. I can't do everything. When I become the sole proprietor in our bakeshop, I would hire more employees. You know how many we are on the admin department? Just an encoder and the secretary and me. Do I have the guts to tell my dad? No. Does he listen to his children? No. He still lives in his perfect little world where his children can't speak for themselves. My dad tells his friends that my half-brother wants to quit school. My dad would laugh and say that my half-brother is foolish to stop school. He never listens to his children and he even laughs about it too. He's simply enjoying all the attention. He's the only one I know who would say negative things about their children in public.

Cat1864
Mar 27, 2012, 01:08 PM
'Our money'? Sadly all of your complaints seem to boil down to money and/or work. You sound like a child rather than an adult.

You moved out of his house into another one he owns. Do you pay rent? Is part of your salary living in his house rent free or at a reduced rate?

You are an employee. What is your specific title? Have you been to school for management classes? What is your experience in the hotel business other than what you father has taught you? Why should the staff listen to you instead of him? How do earn the respect of your co-workers? Being heir apparent for most people is not reason enough to give someone respect.

Could you learn anything from the other employees who might have more experience than you do?

Why do you come in late or not come in at all? Do you get paid whether you show up or not? What would happen if another employee behaved like you do? Would they still have a job?

Does he provide compensation for transportation for other employees? Does he give them food? Do you expect more because you are the owner's child?

As for the girlfriend, if you are honest with yourself, would she do a better job? Are you disliking her because she is your father's girlfriend or because she has strong opinions and isn't taking any attitude from you? If your father wasn't seeing her would you like her better? Is she trying to help make the hotel a success? Is she clueless and a drain on resources?

If it is your father's involvement with her that is causing you to not accept her, try talking to her and getting to know her as an individual instead of an interloper and wedge. You might find out she isn't as bad as you think she is.

Would it be healthier for you to separate yourself from your father completely? Have you tried getting your own place to live and/or a job not provided by your father? Would you earn respect by going to school to make yourself a better employee? Would your father see you as more of an equal if you worked your way up through the ranks?

JudyKayTee
Mar 27, 2012, 02:11 PM
I say troll but just in case - I don't understand the "hard working ethics" when you posted some 50+ times in one day. I note that a number of those posts have been removed (with the "dislikes" along with them).

You don't see how much like your father you are - I think you're on AMHD for the attention - any attention, whether it's good, bad or indifferent.

You're an adult. Why do you care how many times your father marries? You don't live with him. Maybe he's critical of you because you were/are obese (which you posted). Maybe he has some other problem.

If you don't want your father dropping in at "your" house (which he paid for) buy your own house, stop whining, end that part of the relationship. Maybe if you pay your own way he'll be proud of you.

You are going to have children and treat them your father treated you for revenge? What does that mean?

talaniman
Mar 28, 2012, 12:27 PM
You're FIRED!!

Problem solved! Good luck finding a job where the boss treats you like a dad!

Fr_Chuck
Apr 2, 2012, 01:12 PM
So stop working for him and get a job paying better, sorry, he sounds like he wants to make you earn your pay and not make it easy for you.

JudyKayTee
Apr 2, 2012, 01:37 PM
I am still curious how treating your own children badly gets revenge on your parents - "Because it's all about money to him. I keep on thinking if I'll have children of my own, I would treat them the way my dad treated me and my brother so I could have revenge."

J_9
Apr 2, 2012, 10:13 PM
Supposedly you are a nurse and graduated nursing school. You've done countless circumcisions and have assisted in operating rooms. So, go back to nursing and quit whining.

JudyKayTee
Apr 3, 2012, 06:14 AM
Supposedly you are a nurse and graduated nursing school. You've done countless circumcisions and have assisted in operating rooms. So, go back to nursing and quit whining.


Oh, please share! You're an RN. Can you do circumcisions?