Well my mom and dad found out I had sex but I don't know how to own up to it and tell them yes I have because I don't want them to hate me

How old are you?

It is never easy to tell a parent about sexual activity. But you do need to just come right out and tell them. Its important they know, for your safety. They may be disappointed. They may be upset. But in the end, it is always best to be honest.

Hi prisccy,

Since they already apparently know that you do, there really isn't anything to own up to. Was anything said about it? How do you know that they found out? How old are you?

The easiest thing to do would be to stop having sex, since you are unlikely in a position to possibly have and raise a baby. You could tell them that you have decided that you made a mistake and won't be having sex again until you are much older.

If, however, you do plan to continue having sex, then be smart about it and be sure to use two forms of birth control. If you are going to engage in adult acts, you will need to take on the responsibilities that go along with it as an adult. Talk to your parents about birth control.

If you aren't being smart about it, sooner or later you will have a good chance of having to talk to them about a pregnancy instead of birth control. I have a feeling they would much rather discuss preventing an unplanned pregnancy.

I am 17 but I started at 15 with my 1st love but after that I don't know it just was guys. I thought everyone was just have in sex but now I know I was doing wrond

I stopped last year because a lot of my friends were have in babies so I really didn't want to end up like them and my parents think I'm just trying to be around when I'm really not I don't know what to tell them

Tell them that you did have sex before, but realised that it was a mistake. You saw what happened to some of your friends and you don't want to go down that path. Let them know that you realise that you are not ready for the responsibility of possibly becoming pregnant or the risk to your health.

Then promise yourself that you will wait until you are in a position to be financially, emotionally, and physically ready to provide for a child properly. Focus on your education goals. Any college and career plans?

I just don't want them 2 think I'm some kind of fast girl you know I just don't know how to get them 2 trust me again sometimes they are nice than other times I'm the crappy child

Tell them the way you have told us. Tell them you started a couple of years ago because it seemed everyone was doing it and it didn't seem to be wrong. Tell them you know better now. Tell them you have seen your friends get pregnant and didn't want that to happen to you so you woke and realized it was not a good idea. Tell them you are sorry you disappointed them, but you hope they can trust you again.

If you do that I think the chances are they will trust you. And even be a little proud of you.

I'm so scared because I know how hurt they are I know they want me to own up to it because they already know but its hard so just say mom dad I have had sex. You know it sucks.

I can understand your fear, but the longer you wait the worse it will be. And I really think if you take the approach I suggested, you will find they will fear a lot better about your indiscretion.

You could say something such as, "Mom and Dad, I know I have made some mistakes. I have seen friends get pregnant and I don't want to have that happen, so I know that I will not be having sex until I am much older. I want to focus on my education and my goals. I understand if you are disappointed in the choices I made in the past, but I hope that I can earn your trust again from now on."

If it helps, write it in a note or card and hand it to them letting them know that you have something you want to share with them... and sit there with them as they read it.

It just sucks because I am not a good child and I just want them to be proud of myself but every time I get my trust bak I mess it up somehow all the time I mess up.

Well maybe you need some counseling to understand why you always mess up.

Well, you are the one who has control over that. Figure out why you go in a direction that causes you to mess up.

Is it the friends you hang out with? If so, consider making some other friends. Doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with some of them (or perhaps you do, you'll have to decide) just spend more time with the kind of people you want to be more like; the kind that will help you make better choices.

Is it because you are wanting to feel that you have some independence and make your own decisions? Realize that you will have to take small steps towards independence. Maybe you tried to grow up too fast. With the having sex for example... maybe it was because you thought that was the only way a guy would like you or stay with you? You can back off from that.

You'll have to do some soul searching and discover why you have made the choices that you have, and how you are going to make different choices from now on.

Stop and think when you find yourself about to do something you know would not be wise. Listen to that voice in your head that argues with you when you are about to do something that you know you shouldn't. It is there for a reason... :)

Will you still mess up once in awhile?. probably. But don't let that stop you from trying. We all stumble and fall now and then.

You can regain the trust of your parents, but it will take some time, some honest communication, and some proof by your actions.

Like they want me to be so happy and not be mad but I don't know how to do that becuas I fill unwanted when I'm around them so I just act like I'm pissed at the world
And thank you DoulaLc you are really helping me understand..

It isn't easy, but work on changing your attitude and how you respond or react to what goes on around you.

Think about why you feel unwanted. Is it because you don't get to do the things you want to do? Well, are they safe... are they with people who will keep you out of trouble... are they good choices? Are your parents busy with their lives and you wish you had more time with them? Did more family things together? Maybe they don't realize that something they do, or don't do, is effecting you this way. Maybe you are taking things harder than they are meant to be.

What are the reasons you feel unwanted? Maybe looking at them from a different point of view will help. Maybe talking with your parents about it will help. Much depends on why you are feeling that way.

You already know that they want you to be happy and not be mad. That tells me that they do care.

Well my sister told them I had sex and I don't know how to say sorry or anything because I told my sister I hated her and now my parents want mehh all happy but I can't I'm so mad.. and I guess I do tha stuff I do because I have no freedom

Maybe your sister told because she knew you shouldn't be having sex and didn't want you to get hurt? Even if she did it just to get you into trouble, you can't change that now. What did your parents say to you about it? Was it even discussed?

It doesn't matter... you can still tell them that you are sorry for mistakes you have made in the past. You don't even have to mention the sex, just say "mistakes" you have made. Let them know you want to do better from now on and will work hard at making better choices.

Then it is up to you to make those better choices. Think things through. If something comes up that you know is probably not a good idea, something that your parents would get upset about, then stop and talk to yourself about it before you do anything. Sometimes the better choice is not always the easiest, but accepting that, and still making the better choice, is part of growing up.

Write it down for them to read if that makes it any easier. You won't be able to move forward with this worrying you until you take care of it.

Yeahh.. but I mean my sister has done stuff to it makes me mad she isn't tell on her self if she wanted to be so called honest. And I don't know how to tlk to my sister or parents it just ends up being a fight always

Then write it down and hand it to them. No arguing, just plain and simple, short and sweet. You made some mistakes, you have learned from them, and you are going to make smarter choices from now on.

It's not about your sister, it's about you and your choices. That is all you have control over. If you don't like choices you have made in the past, then you change what you do from now on.

Thank you so much you have really helped. But my parents want me to make up wit my sister but I don't know why I have to say sorry for her

If you were mean to her, than apologize. You can tell her privately that you weren't happy about her telling your parents, but you are sorry that you were unkind. She may or may not apologize for telling, but don't let that change anything. Let it go and focus on the ways you are going to work at changing to be the person you would like to be.