Well I'm in your same situation... I've been dating my boyfriend for five months now, but have been friends with him for 9 years. He has been in love with me for all these years but I ignored the signs not wanting to mess up our friendship. During this time he meet someone and became very good friends with her. He has stated that this was not his girlfriend but strictly his "friend" and I was the only girl he has ever really loved. However she just had his child. He didn't lie about her being pregnant when I decided to take our friendship to the next level. However apart of me feels like he might choose her and the baby over our relationship. I don't know what to do. I love him and I feel like it will be to hard to walk away and maybe I should try and stick it out. However I don't want to have to deal with the "baby mama drama". I can except his child and their relationship. I know that his baby mama loves him and has always wanted a relationship with him. She knows about me but we have never meet. During their "friendship" she demanded that he take pictures of me down out of his room and he said no. I know she loves him and wants to be with him. I believe she will use the baby as means to get him back. He has even blamed me for having a baby by someone else because I just recently decided to get in a relationship with him after all these years. You have to share your time with not only his friends, family, a baby, but now with someone who is in love with him. Well maybe we can be each others support system.


Has anyone else been in a situation close to this? What did they do? How did they handle this?

Why would want to be with someone who will never be 'all yours'? It's not as if you went into this blind, it was all laid out in front of you yet you STILL wanted to take it to a higher level. Why not find a guy who does not come with all that baggage, someone who has a mutual love and respect for you?

I am looking at it from the percpective of the other women. I am 4 months pregnant and the father is with another women. A little different because me and the father have been friends for 11 years and this girl only 1 year. Anyway, it is very hard to carry a mans baby and not still be in love geese it's only been months since they slept together. You should ask yourself why you want to be with a man who obviously has been playing both of you and hasn't committed to either of you.

No women can use a baby to get a man back unless that man still has feelings for her, so do you worry he still has feelings? That is your bigger problem. Sounds to me like this man will never commit and that is dangerous.

You have a choice be only friends with him and find a guy that will fully commit to your relationship or be with him and always wonder if he is with her too or will go back to her. Unless she finds someone else or wises up that option will always be open for him.

Bad men don't change.

It sounds like his feelings for the tow of you could be similar. Add that he shares a child with the other one, and yes, I'd say she could end up with him. More importantly, if you really want to be with him now, ask your self: Why did I wait until he might become 'unavailable' to me before I wanted to be with him? And, can I accept this child of his into my life, knowing that he will always have a relationship with the baby's mother? You will never be able to break the bond that ties him to the mother of his child, unless he walks away from the kid altogether, which is a terrible thing to do. And maybe you don't love him in a romantic way at all. Maybe you just liked having a Plan B hanging around all the time, and you don't want to accept a less important role in his life.