We just moved.
We have 17 acres in the woods now.
My boyfriend has a 10 year old son. He'll be 11 in September.
His son, W, has always been this way: he doesn't enjoy being alone. We sent him out to ride his bike last weekend, told him to ride it till the tires went flat, and he was out there less than 15 min. Before he came back in a sat in the living room with us again.
His problem is that he doesn't like being alone. Its not that he's scared, he has no problem staying at the house when we run an errand. He just can't seem to play by himself.
He loves being outside, he'll stay out there all day long if someone's with him, be it us or a friend staying over. But when he's alone he'd rather spend his whole time with us, even if that means sitting on his butt all day long. I know he's got energy cause he won't sit still or quietly. He'll play with his toys OK, as long as he plays in the same room as us, but not alone.
My boyfriend and I were talking about it and both of us would have loved to live where we do now, as kids. Neither of us would have spent our days indoors. But not W.
So I'm looking for tips, advice or insight.
Is there some way we could help him enjoy being alone. We play with him outside of course, but we want him to be able to play by himself.
[bit of history: about 2 years ago W didn't do anything alone- he slept in our room, and even showered with his dad (which I may ask about later). He never was alone, not even in a different room. If we took a nap, so did he, in our bed. If we were outside so was he, if we were inside so was he. So I know that being alone is somewhat new to him, but I don't want him spending all the nice days we have indoors just because we can't go out and play with him.]
I've been looking on Amazon and stuff for outdoor toys that may help, but its hard to find stuff for 1 person.

I would get him professional counseling, the sleeping in your bed and showering with his dad at this older age is somewhat worrying me.

But you basically tell him to go out, and if he comes in, send him back out, tell him to go out and play till you call for him, start by making it 30 min time frames and increasing it.

Many things, a swing, his bike, a net that bounces a ball back to you. Is he allowed in the woods, have him find or collect something. Take photos ( get a ditigal camera,) and so on.

Take photos ( get a ditigal camera,)

That's a good idea. Another might be a pet. With 17 acres a dog would be both companion and protection from wildlife and often accidents a single person could stumble into.

[bit of history: about 2 years ago W didn't do anything alone- he slept in our room, and even showered with his dad (which I may ask about later). He never was alone, not even in a different room. If we took a nap, so did he, in our bed. If we were outside so was he, if we were inside so was he. So I know that being alone is somewhat new to him, but I don't want him spending all the nice days we have indoors just because we can't go out and play with him.]
I've been looking on amazon and stuff for outdoor toys that may help, but its hard to find stuff for 1 person.



I would have been very, very concerned. The first time the child slept in bed with "us" would have been the last. I'm amazed (does you boyfriend have custody) that the mother didn't use this as grounds to get custody.

At any rate - I would suggest that all of you talk to somebody, a counsellor. Perhaps 10 minutes outside alone one week. Fifteen the next. Twenty the next, every 4 hours. I'd make it gradual but it's HIS job to amuse himself. I'd make sure he understands that.

At that age, my younger brother and I played for hours with Lincoln Logs (we build houses for our "ranchers") and a ranch set that had plastic cows, calves, horses, fences, and people. We'd set it up indoors and on nice days outdoors. My dad would set up the hose so a little water would trickle out into a channel that we had made, and that was our river. The rancher's name was Ken, and his wife was Mary. :) We made up stories about what they were doing on their ranch, and moved the animals around. Sometimes we combined that set with my brother's plastic army guys and had a war. Yes, there were two of us, but I could do imaginative play by myself too.

What about reading (and writing!) books? I spent hours reading Grimm's Fairy Tales, the Bobbsey Twins adventures, the Hardy Boys series, etc. -- also comic books galore. To write a book, cut 10 sheets of printer paper in half, staple the middle seam, and create a book with text and drawings.

Do special chores inside the house or yardwork outdoors.

Has this boy ever been in counseling? This does not sound normal. Has he always been this way or just since you came on the scene? He is too old to be showering with his dad.