Hi Everyone. Here is my story.

I'm 33 the girl is 31... I have a close group of friends most of them are in relationships with each other and have met in various places 2 of them are brother and sister which is why we have a close group of girls and guys.

So my mates sister is good friends with me and I know her friends who spend time with us, over the years I've always been a bit of a player and hit on her friends in a funny way just always giving them comments that they are looking good and so fourth but that was all. Time went on and I found myself telling her single friend who I always had a bit of a joke with that we would make a good couple and she should give me her number and ill take her for dinner. She gave me the number and I gave her a cheeky text later and she said uour so funny.

Few weeks went on and we wernt in contact then I saw her at a friends b-day when she turned up and the night went on we shared a few drinks and so fourth then at the end of the night we left I said hey you can head back to my place ill give you a ride home tomorrow she said OK! I was really surprised anyway didn't complain.

We went back to my house and ended up sleeping together for the first time was so HOT! When I dropped her off in the morning she just got out said bye and left I wasn't sure what was happening after this although she said we will keep this by the way us right. I said yes. Few weeks went on and we were in contact with each other just texting back and fourth we then all had a day out and we were kind of close. I msged her that night and said we might need to catch up for another dinner... She replied with Hey the other night was a great night nbut I don't want this to be a regular thing as we have a close group of friends and I don't want to ruin the frindships. So I let it go and didn't said yeah that's OK.

Then a week later we were all out again and she texts me that night 3am on her way home saying you want me to take you home? I didn't reply next day she message me ayin we might need to go for that dinner and complicate things! So stupid me goes OK.

From then on for the next 2 months she was inviting me over and cooking dinner we were watching movies and sleeping together. I believed it was leading somewhere as she was sending me texts saying 'I actually miss u, its weird but I like spending time with you".

Then she had a trip which she went overseas she returned one month later, I text her to catch up she replied hey our nights together were fun but I'm seeing a nice guy atm. I couldn't believe it thought she met someone o.s. Then she tells me I met a guy just before I went a way and its continued and progressed into something romantic, she said I do like you and we get along really well.

Now I was totally confused why would she be inviting me over for dinner so often? Spending time together? Texting like she was? Even when she was out always texting me organising to catch up! She then said hopefully u can meet him when we are out one night.Then I saw her out one night 3 weeks later and she introduces me like its nothing and then stands right next to me and tries to be all friendly and it seemed flirty. I was so mad! And angry someone who was a close friend of mine would do this after 2 months if ii did it to her she woulda been fuming. That nigth I sent her a text saying I need to talk to you when uour free. She wrote back the next day saying 'I can't believe it took me so long to realise what I did last night I hurt yu and then just waved it in front of your face I'm truly sorry for that I thought we could all be friends and live happily ever after"

Now I'm angry I feel I should have asked her what was going on with us after a month I know she was desperate for a relationship as she was getting older, I know she liked me and liked spending time together, we were very compatible then this guy just met her and said relationship and she is like yes. I should have askee not just let it slide!

I'm so unhappy with myself feels like I missed a major opportunity here was I too sslow I ont know what I didn't ask now she told me we wernt actually in an official relationship. I new I should have asked her to be in it but it was going so welkl I didn't think this was going to happen I didn't realise she was out meeting this guy at a party, thought we were seeing each other.

So Confussed I'm dying now its been one month and I can't move on I always think about why I didn't ask her to be official she's old enuf to want to settle down and that's what her friends had saif in the past that she wanted. I've sent some texts saying I took you for dinner and why were you inviting me over for dinners and stuff if you didn't want anything she doesn't really answer. What can I do! Now its like I need to wait for this relationship to end so I can give it another go... I think the damage is done already, it all seemed so right I can't believe I didn't ask for the relationship to be official.. Dying inside now! Having trouble eating and sleeping and its been a month!

It sounds like she just wants "friends with benefits." This is not a relationship. Enjoy it for what it is.

I think she's confused herself. It sound's like she keeps teeder tottering between you and the othe guy. Just take a breather so she can sort out her thoughts.

My take on this is that you and she have completely different views of what your relationship actually means. You seem to be giving it far more importance than she is. We don't always simply get together with someone and fall desperately in love and that's it for life. You and she tried it out, got along well, but she found someone who was more interesting to her for the long haul. It's not pleasant, but that's the way relationships go. The unfortunate part is that couples tend to leap into sleeping together before they've actually decided whether the relationship has a future. That complicates matters considerably as one partner usually winds up more sensitive to that intimacy than the other.

Move on and perhaps next time try waiting until there's some sense of real togetherness with a future in mind before you sleep with the girl you're seeing.